Stuck In Loops

RunningLoopsLike a broken record… or an endless audio loop.  Those thoughts that just keep turning in your mind.  Okay, in MY mind.  But I bet it happens to you, too.

Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that I get up to 2 emails.  One is complimentary, thanking me for resources, books, podcasts… things like that.  Then there is another email, critical and harsh, telling me how useless my info was.

I read them both and head off to walk my dog.

Do you think I ponder that kind one?  Or keep looping back to that unkind one?

Yep, you guessed it.  And I bet you guessed it because it happens to you, too.

And that thought… it isn’t just a passing thought.  No.  I find my body tense up, the anger/hurt churning in my gut.

The other day, I was out for my morning walk with my sidekick, Ziggy (our silver lab).  We were about half-way through and I realized my palms were sweaty, tightly gripping the leash (which is a waist leash, so I don’t even need to be holding it!).  My chest is tight, my stomach is tight.  I ask myself, “why am I ready for a fight?”  Nothing had happened.

Nothing.

Except a thought I was having… not just having… looping.  It was about an experience that happened 3 decades ago.  One I don’t typically think about.  But today, it popped in my head and I was stuck in a loop.  Looping on an old thought that was making me feel a certain way in the present.

I dropped back and followed my own little routine when I find myself looping.

You can’t stop the loops from starting.  But you can decide how long you run the loops.

Let’s talk about how to stop those pesky loops.  Podcast below.

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Giving Thanks: Gratitude and the Season

Thanksgiving, the holiday, is often lost in food and family.  What is lost?  Our opportunity to experience gratitude.  The chance to really give thanks.

Many times, it can feel like an obligation.  Instead, I suggest we see it as an opportunity.  Even in tough moments (actually, especially in tough moments), we can make a shift from fear to thanks, from lack to sufficiency.

Over the years of my podcast, I have repeated this theme, both on Thanksgiving episodes and elsewhere.  Below is a list of the various episodes around thanksgiving and gratitude.  Just click each one to listen to the episodes.

Why Thankful?


Why Being Thankful Matters


Giving Thanks: Thriving Through Gratitude


What Thriving People Know About Gratitude And Appreciation


Living Your Engagement



And if you want to find my books on thriving, CLICK HERE.

How NOT To Thrive: Top 5

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

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Happiness Is A Constant Reset

Michaela Renee Johnson on making constant resets to find happiness.Happiness is a funny thing, isn’t it?  One day, it’s right there… right in front of you.  Then, just as quickly… it’s gone.  Why is it so hard to hold onto happiness?

Maybe more importantly, is there a way to shift into happiness, nearly at will?

I am always concerned about how lightly we take happiness.  Our culture makes it THE goal, and not a part of your goal.  But worse, happiness often ends up being about waiting for something to happen.  Notice:  HAPPy and HAPPen.  Same root.  It is about something out there happening to make you happy.

My guest this week, Michaela Renee Johnson, believes that happiness is really about making constant resets.  It is about looking for and finding the points of happiness… not waiting for them to just happen.

After an unorthodox childhood (based on family necessity), Michaela became something of a free-spirit wanderer.  She finally found her way to her calling as a psychotherapist… and spends her time helping others “speak their truth with grace and live a courageous life of authenticity.”  Something she did, herself.

Listen below on how to find happiness through constant reset.

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How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 2

How to NOT thrive... and what to do instead.Well, you are on to me!  Last week, I started talking about things you can do to guarantee that you DON’T thrive.  I’m sure you knew I didn’t really want you to NOT thrive.  But I wanted to point out some ways people make themselves miserable… and what they might do to shift.

If you missed that episode, JUST CLICK HERE TO HEAR IT.

It is interesting to notice how we humans can really mess up our lives!  Life throws us enough to deal with.  Then, we tend to multiply it with our own blind spots and stuck points.

With my Top 10 List To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive, I wanted to point out 10 ways that people really do keep themselves stuck.  And the fact is, I see these same patterns repeated over and over by many people.

So, if you see yourself in one (or more) of the stuck points, that just means you are… well… human.  Congratulations on being able to spot it!  That is the first step in doing something different… something new… something more… THRIVING!

Listen in below for the REST of the ways you can keep from thriving… so you can thrive!  (Unless you don’t want to… then just follow my suggestions.)

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How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 1

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
It Isn’t Personal
It IS What It IS
Forgiving
Hard Isn’t The Question
Dealing with Fear
Book:  Thrive Principles

 

Look Up!

Look up!World got you down?  Maybe even looking down?  It can feel overwhelming, like you just need to keep plodding ahead, keeping your head down.

But often, that is just the time we need to look up.

To the sky.

Physically and metaphorically.

When I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and flustered, when it seems there is just too much going on, too much to get done… I take a step back and look up.

And then I have a little more perspective.  Little ol’ me in this big ol’ universe.  In a world with lots more troubles than I have.  Not that mine aren’t important.  They just aren’t as grand as I can make them feel.

And metaphorically, I look up.  To a higher perspective.  My higher Self.  I remember that it really isn’t all about me, but how I bring myself into the world.

It also reminds me to be grateful.  To be grateful for being in this moment, in this space.  Who I am, with what I have, where I am.  And to see that as “enough.”  It is too easy to let the “not enough’s” call out to me, call me down, scare me.

But then, I look up.  To pivot me out of my little thoughts and into bigger thoughts.  From a higher perspective. From a place of connection.  From awe.

Look up.

I discuss this more in this week’s Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

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Letting Your Future Help Today

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Valerie Lemme, FutureVisioning

What if your “future self” can help your “current self?” And maybe even help you make sense of your “past self!”

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with Valerie Lemme about her journey from painful childhood and struggling adulthood to thriving. Valerie discovered that by accessing her Future Self, she could move beyond the beliefs and stuck points she was experiencing.

But in order to get there, Valerie had to go through mental, physical, and emotional pain. Through mood swings, insomnia, panic, high blood pressure, and horrible back pain, Valerie kept looking for an answer. She trained as a healer and hypnotherapist, but couldn’t find healing for herself.

On the verge of giving up, Valerie tuned into a webinar on FutureVisioning, and her life was changed. After that, Valerie decided to help others with that same process. And today, Valerie “pulls back the curtains” to share the 7 basic principles of the process.

Her principles might be a challenge to what you believe. But if what you are currently believing isn’t quite working, it might be time for a shift. Or at least some thoughts in a new direction.

Tune in as Valerie and I discuss the 7 Principles of FutureVisioning.

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Healing From Heartbreak

An Interview with Nada Hogan

Nada Hogan, healing from heartbreakLife can turn in an instant:  a phone call, a letter, a knock on the door.  Everything you thought you knew, everything that was “normal” is pulled apart and thrown upside-down.

In that heart-stopping moment, you know life will never be the same.  And sometimes, it can feel like life isn’t just changed… but over.

For Nada Hogan, that knock on the door was a pair of police officers.  While Nada was trying to figure out what was going on, she noticed that one officer’s badge said “Chaplain.”

Nada’s 18 year old daughter had been killed in an accident.

Her already-stressed life was thrown into a tailspin.  Some days, she could barely pull herself out of bed.

Then, she decided to make a change.  To honor her daughter, Darah, in living a life of purpose.

One little step at a time, Nada pulled her life back together.  She found a connection to something bigger than herself… and eventually, to a purpose bigger than her grief.

Now, Nada helps others move through their heartbreaks to find healing.  She starts at the place where you might not even want to get out of bed.  She knows that spot!  She’s been there.

Join Nada and me as we discuss how to heal after heartbreak.

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Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain

CleanDirtyPainAnyone who tells you that you can go through life without getting hurt and feeling pain is either lying or hiding.

Life is rough-and-tumble.  Pain is unavoidable.

But there is a type of pain that we can leave behind.  That is more a result of our own thinking than anything external, any injury either physical or emotional.

Call it “Dirty Pain.”  Which is distinguished from “Clean Pain.”  Clean pain, that is the initial hurt.  When you hit your foot, it hurts.  That is the bodily response to the injury.  When someone says something to you that is mean and spiteful, your feelings are hurt.  That is the emotional pain.  It is initial.

But what if you chastise yourself about your being “clutsy,” or about your “stupid action” that led to that foot injury?  Or what if you made that hurtful comment about you, and not about the person who said it?  What if you kept dwelling about it?

Let me be clear:  it is fine to ask how you might prevent an injury in the future.  It is fine to listen to feedback from others, that might give you some insight into things you need to change.

It’s the next step after that.  When you keep berating yourself.  It’s when you take the next step… you attach to the pain.  Buddhism refers to that as suffering.  You and I can think of it as “Dirty Pain” (a term coined by ACT – a mode of therapy).  It is dirtied by our own mental state — not the cause of the pain.

What do you do about that?  We discuss it in this week’s Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

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