Choosing MORE

Live life fully.  Choose MORE!We ALL want MORE out of life… right?  But more of what?  More toys?  More stuff?

Or are we craving more of LIFE?  Of living… more?  Living a more full life?

I think that is it.  At least, that is “it” for me.  Experiencing more, connecting more, adding more purpose, living more of “me.”  And I suspect that is true for you, too.  But sometimes, we aren’t sure about how to do it.

Not whether we want to or not.

Just how to do it.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, we cover how to Choose More in your life… and what to Choose More of!

Listen below.

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Order, Disorder, Reorder

The cycle of life:  order, disorder, reorderThere are days when you just wish that something would change.  The same ol’ same ol’ just seems to roll along.  And then there are the days you wished that things wouldn’t change.  What happened?  How did things turn upside down?

One simple word to explain both situations:  Life.

If you don’t find that comforting, let’s call it the cycle of life.  Because cycles keep on rolling.  If you can’t wait for a change, no worries.  Things will change.  If things seem so be changing on all sides, guess what?  Change will stop.  Things will re-configure.

In life, we are always moving through a cycle:  Order, Disorder, Reorder.  The first can get a little old and stale.  But at least it is predictable and… maybe even feels safe.  Then comes the call, the letter, the diagnosis, the pink slip, or maybe just the next step.  A child goes off to college, you finish college, a friend moves away, you move away.  Something shifts and throws you into disorder.

It is a tough spot.  Painful and grief-ful.  But life does not stop there.  We move through it, find a new way to keep on moving.  And life re-orders.  It is a new order.  But it is the re-order.

And at some point, the reorder becomes the order.  And the cycle repeats.  From the day we are born until the day we die.

The question is how we move through the cycle… not IF, but HOW.

Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast for moving through the Order/Disorder/Reorder Cycle.

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Book:  Thrive Principles

Curing Insomnia

Ruth Stern - Healing InsomniaOver 40 million people.  Every year.  That is the number who suffer from insomnia, in the United States alone.  It’s just a little “missed sleep,” right?  Maybe a little cranky in the morning, but nothing that a cup of coffee can’t fix. Right?

Wrong.

First, insomnia is incredibly frustrating.  When you want to sleep, but can’t, it is frustrating.  Especially if everyone else is peacefully slumbering everywhere else in your house!

Second, a lack of sleep is detrimental to our mental and physical well-being.  Each year, more studies show how important sleep is.  It is implicated in anxiety and depression.  It is tied to higher rates of accidents.  It contributes to high blood pressure, diabetes, dementia, weight gain, and many other chronic issues.

Let alone that crankiness that can make the day so hard!

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss curing insomnia with Ruth Stern.  After suffering from insomnia for 19 years, Ruth set out to find a solution.  A trained therapist, Ruth turned to an energy psychology technique to help herself to heal from insomnia.  An overnight cure?  Nope.  But it worked.  And has worked for many others.

Listen in as Ruth Stern and I discuss curing insomnia.

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Grab Ruth Stern’s Healing Your Sleep Now Mini-Training HERE

Even MORE Lessons From Jiu Jitsu

Even MORE lessons I have learned from my study of jiu jitsu.I’ve rolled and been rolled, tapped and been tapped.  My journey into jiu jitsu continues!

Since my last post on lessons I have learned in jiu jitsu (LIFE lessons — not just jiu jitsu moves and techniques), I’ve continued on my journey.  The first time I posted, I was just a few months into my study.  When I completed my Combatives belt (a Gracie standard), I added a second post.

This past month, I hit another achievement, having been awarded my Blue belt.  So, it is time for a bit more reflection and thought.

After 16 months of fairly intense study, I realize that the deeper I dig, the more there is to learn.  Kind of like life.  Something seems so simple… until you start in.  Then, things become far more complex.

Mastery is the point when the complex becomes simple again.  And I am far from that.

Join me as I explore 5 more lessons I’ve learned (and relearned) from my time studying jiu jitsu.

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3 P’s Of Living Engaged

The Engaged Life Series

The 3 P's of living an engaged and present life. Live with passion and purpose.Do you ever that you are “playing small”?  That there should be more to life?  More for YOU to do in life?  More your life should be about?

That life you are thinking about… that is the Engaged Life.  Living with more engagement, more depth, more meaning… more purpose.

Over the years, this has been a fairly constant refrain from clients:  “There should be more to life than THIS.”  There is….

Engaging in life.  Being engaged in life.

Living a bit deeper… a bit wider.

Over the years, 3 P’s have emerged as the Path to living an engaged life.  Those 3 P’s:  Passion, Purpose, and Presence.

When you are focused on building those 3 areas, your Engaged Life builds.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I cover the 3 P’s of Living an Engaged Life.  Listen below.

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Book:  Thrive Principles

 

Running Loops

RunningLoopsLike a broken record… or an endless audio loop.  Those thoughts that just keep turning in your mind.  Okay, in MY mind.  But I bet it happens to you, too.

Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that I get up to 2 emails.  One is complimentary, thanking me for resources, books, podcasts… things like that.  Then there is another email, critical and harsh, telling me how useless my info was.

I read them both and head off to walk my dog.

Do you think I ponder that kind one?  Or keep looping back to that unkind one?

Yep, you guessed it.  And I bet you guessed it because it happens to you, too.

And that thought… it isn’t just a passing thought.  No.  I find my body tense up, the anger/hurt churning in my gut.

The other day, I was out for my morning walk with my sidekick, Ziggy (our silver lab).  We were about half-way through and I realized my palms were sweaty, tightly gripping the leash (which is a waist leash, so I don’t even need to be holding it!).  My chest is tight, my stomach is tight.  I ask myself, “why am I ready for a fight?”  Nothing had happened.

Nothing.

Except a thought I was having… not just having… looping.  It was about an experience that happened 3 decades ago.  One I don’t typically think about.  But today, it popped in my head and I was stuck in a loop.  Looping on an old thought that was making me feel a certain way in the present.

I dropped back and followed my own little routine when I find myself looping.

You can’t stop the loops from starting.  But you can decide how long you run the loops.

Let’s talk about how to stop those pesky loops.  Podcast below.

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Down The Habit Hole

DownTheHabitHoleThe gyms are emptying out.  The running shoes are no longer going out for runs.  Comfort food is replacing health food.

What gives?

February.

Actually, it is just long enough that those resolutions made in January are starting to crumble.

“I’ll start exercising, start eating better, stop ______, stop ________.”  You fill in the blanks.  Resolutions are usually starting something new or stopping something old.  Building new habits or beating old habits.  Or changing new habits for old ones.

Many people get off to a good start.  They join the gym, throw out the junk food, buy some new clothes, a few new books, and… enthusiasm wanes.  Old habits kick back in.

And it is back to square one.

Don’t blame yourself!  Habits are tough.  Tough to make, tough to break.

We go back to the old habits because they are comfortable, easy, and the path of least resistance.  Even if they don’t get us where we want to go!

We just seem to fall right down the Habit Hole!

So, what should we do?

Listen in to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast for more about the Habit Hole.

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Book:  Thrive Principles

Fear Versus Courage

FearVersusCourageI don’t know about you, but I don’t much enjoy feeling fear.  I’d rather it not be a part of my life.

And yet, it is.

Fear is part of our wiring, deep in our DNA and deep in the circuitry of our brains. It keeps us safe — sometimes super-safe.  Which is the problem.

There is a central life coaching question:  “Where do you want to be?”  (Few people seek out coaching because everything is great, they are happy, and life is where they want it to be.)

The next question is “What keeps you from getting there?”  When I dig in with clients, that question often hits against external barriers.  Things the client can’t change.

But dig long enough and dig deep enough, and you hit fear.  Fear is what often keeps us from getting what we want in life, from getting the life we most deeply dream about.

If fear is a fact of life (it is), then fear isn’t really as much in our way as we let it be.  After all, other people (who also have fears) have made it.

What breaks through the fear, to get us to the life we want?

It is not being “fearless.”  That won’t happen… although you can have LESS fear.

Nope.

It is COURAGE.  And courage is not the opposite of fear… it is action in the direction of fear.  Which is what dissipates fear.

Let’s talk about fear… and more important, courage… in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

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How To Handle Tough Days

HowToHandleToughDaysKinda like taxes, tough days are unavoidable.  You may see the tough times coming.  But sometimes, they just roll right over us.  A conversation, a text, a phone call, or an event.  Something hits and the bad time is here.

Some people will say that tough times are a sign that you are “off-course,” not living right, not doing what you “should” be doing.

But guess what?  One cost of living is dealing with tough times.  Illness, accidents, losses, and deaths — they are all a part of life.

You don’t have to like the tough times.  But we do have to get through them.

Which raises the question of how to get through the tough times.

I cover handling tough times in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

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Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

Act or Accept

ActOrAcceptI always find it helpful to have some “rules” to live by.  Short statements that help keep me pointed in the right direction, ready to handle the challenges of life.

And let’s be honest:  challenges are an unavoidable part of life.  Those who tell you that having struggles, challenges, or illnesses is an indication that you are doing something wrong?  They are wrong and misguided.  Life is going to challenge each of us… right up until we die.  Which every one of us will do.

So the question is how we live our lives.  Today.  Right now.  Regardless of what life is throwing your way.

What we often do, in the face of a challenge:  Worry, Complain, Avoid.  All three keep us stuck, frozen in place and to the challenge ahead of us.

So, I have decided instead, to adopt the rule of “Act or Accept.”  I will either act toward resolution, or I will accept where I am.  And the acceptance?  It need not be permanent.  It is about where I am right now.  It may be waiting for a possible action.

Let’s talk about this rule and how to apply it.  Listen to the podcast episode below.

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