“I’m Just Not Happy” and What To Do About It

What to do when you are "just not happy."Do you ever hear yourself say (or just feel), “I’m just not happy”?

What does it mean? What’s keeping you feeling better?  It might be depression. But it might be something else. (If you are concerned about depression, CHECK OUT THESE RESOURCES.)

There are some other reasons for “just not being happy.”  In fact, in this week’s podcast (you can listen below), I note 4 different reasons.  The good news is there is a path through each one.  But you can only follow the path when you identify it.

If you are “just not happy,” take a listen.  If you know someone who is “just not happy,” invite them to listen with you!

3 Growth Mindsets for Tough Times

3 growth mindsets to help you with tough times.Your mindset doesn’t change what is happening “out there,” but it can change how you perceive it “in here,” in your mind and thoughts.  Which can also change your actions.

The circumstances are the same.  But whether you feel stuck or empowered, that depends upon the mindset you carry.

Over the years, I have worked to shift into more productive and useful mindsets when tough times hit.

(And I promise, they will hit — just part of life.  Not a sign that the world, the universe, God, or anything else hates you, is teaching you a lesson, or anything else.  Being alive means there will be tough times.)

In this week’s podcast, I try to compare some not-so-helpful mindsets with some better ones.  I want to suggest three mindsets for you.  And you can adopt them at any time!

Mindset is up to you. . . once you realize it is up to you!

RELATED RESOURCES
Dealing with Roadblocks
You and Your Thoughts
Thrive Principles

Building Your Resilience Muscle

Building your resilience muscle.You’ve got this muscle in you that you might not know about it.  Maybe it is strong, just naturally.  Or maybe you have built it on purpose.  Or maybe it needs a little strengthening.

The muscle?

Your “resilience muscle.”  It helps power you through tough times, so you can bounce back from the struggles.

Here’s the problem:  many people don’t know you can build it.  Many people do their best to avoid tough times and struggles.  And many refuse to let that struggle build the muscle.

One problem:  the struggles are unavoidable.  But if you let that Resilience Muscle atrophy, those struggles are just tougher.  If you strengthen the muscle, future struggles are not so insurmountable.

Let’s get fit and build that Resilience Muscle!

RELATED RESOURCES
Damaged, Resilient, or Thriving?
Thrive Principles Book
What Thriving People Know About Tough Times

Surviving Headline Overload

Surviving Headline OverloadI noticed it sometime around September of last year. . . I was getting sucked into the news!  And for several years, I had done a pretty good job of limiting my exposure to the “news.”

It seems more like an addiction. . . one little taste. . . and you are pulled right back in!

To be clear, I am not against the news.  I am not against reporters.  I am not against the networks.  EACH of us is responsible for how we take in the information.  It’s just that too much news does little to inform, but lots to disturb.

Which often leaves us feeling scared, stressed, and helpless.  None are necessarily true.  Just the way it makes us feel.

In this week’s podcast, I discuss how to deal with (and survive) Headline Overload.

HELPFUL RESOURCES:
Dealing With Anxiety
You and Your Thoughts
The Thrive Principles

Parenting Toward Your Goal

Raising Thriving Children Series

Wrapping up our series on raising thriving children.Start with where you want to end.  Always a good plan for any trip.  Including the long-range trip of parenting.  We need to know where we want to go, if we want any hope of getting there.

This week, we close out the series on Raising Thriving Children with a few reflections and final thoughts.  And the first comes straight from Stephen Covey:  “Start with the end in mind.”

And then course-correct as you go!  Because that is part of good navigation.  It isn’t a straight path.  Clarity of the destination is important.  Being exactly on-track is not so important.

As you are going through those stages, remember this:  Parenting is always toward your own obsolescence.  Your task as a parent is to make yourself unnecessary (not absent, just not needed).  We are here to raise self-sufficient, capable people.  And that requires recognizing that parenting is toward obsolescence.

I provide 5 final thoughts in this week’s podcast.

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children
Ingredients To Thriving Children
Antidote To A Narcissistic World
Teaching Thrive Principles To Kids
Shift From Expectation To Agreement

Teaching Thrive Principles To Kids

Raising Thriving Children Series

Teaching Thrive Principles to children and young adults.In my recent book, Thrive Principles, I provide 15 strategies for living a thriving life.  In that book, I note that this does not mean an absence of struggle and tough times.  I suggest, instead, that these tough times are the fuel for thriving.  They are the times we build our thriving muscles — IF we understand how to thrive.

Guess what?

This is a great list of strategies to teach children and young people.  Imagine entering adulthood with those strategies and skills at the ready.  Imagine that when the tougher times come, young adults already know how to move through them — and thrive!

I’ve noticed that many people never learn to thrive.  And many learn to thrive only when they are at a tough point.  Then, when nothing is working, they finally have to find a way to thrive — in the midst of struggle!

Wouldn’t it be easier to master those skills along the way, when we are just trying to figure out the skills of life, anyway?  What if we just learned the helpful skills — not the unhelpful coping strategies that usually cause more struggle down the road?

Take a listen to the podcast to hear how those Thrive Principles can help your child.  (And if you think YOU might benefit, LEARN MORE HERE or grab Thrive Principles wherever you like to buy your books.)

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children
Ingredients To Thriving Children
Antidote To A Narcissistic World

Ingredients To Thriving Children

Raising Thriving Children Series

What are the ingredients for a thriving child?Have you ever made a recipe — but forgot a key ingredient?  Or maybe put in the wrong ingredient?  One time, I left salt out of a cookie recipe.  It was pretty bad.  Another time, I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar.  It was awful.

Ingredients are important.

So, what are the key ingredients to help instill in a child?  To help them thrive?

Let’s face it:  we will be adding ingredients, whether we mean to or not.  That’s just what happens in the parenting process.  The question is whether we are intentional about the ingredients — and if we have the RIGHT ingredients to put in.

Our goal:  A Thriving Person.

The starting point: A child learning to thrive.

Listen to this week’s podcast for the 5 key ingredients to raising a thriving child.

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children

The Important Influence On Children

Raising Thriving Children Series

There are so many influences on kids these days.  They are pulled in so many directions.  This has always been true.  The influences might change, but the fact that outside influences pull at kids is consistent.

In the 1950’s, resilience research started to emerge.  It came about because some researchers who were looking at societal ills noticed that some people managed to navigate the same difficulties, and move into normal adulthood.

Once they had examined the societal problems, some researchers turned to the resilient people.  They wanted to know why the same problems did not cause the same outcome.

Several factors emerged.  One factor is the basis of our discussion today.  It is the single, biggest influence on children — and is an essential factor in learning to thrive.

(Here’s a hint — you are a lot closer to it than you think!)

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles

Eggs, Balls, And Turtles

Raising Thriving Children Series

Raising thriving children.  Are they eggs or balls?  Lessons from baby turtles. . .Summer has flown by!  Here we are, already at Labor Day in the States.  That kind of marks the end of summer for many.  Most schools are back in session and schedules start to be a wee bit more important.  Structure returns.

And parenting may be ratcheted up just a bit.

It’s a great time to be thinking some about your hopes and goals of your parenting.  I’m guessing that your hope is NOT to be the rescuer for life.  Maybe more like coaching from the sidelines while the kids run their plays.

Or maybe like volunteer turtle patrols.

Know what I mean?

If not, maybe a listen to this week’s podcast will clarify for you.  Remember, there are two models of viewing kids:  Eggs or Balls.  I’m leaning toward balls.

Let’s think about it in this week’s podcast, below.

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction

Raising Thriving Children

Raising Thriving Children Series

Raising thriving children. A new series on parenting resilient kids.If you are a parent, you know that hope/fear.  You hope to raise a wonderful human being, and you fear making a mistake on the way.

This week, we begin a series on raising thriving children.

During this series, we will look at the goals of parenting, the limits of parenting, and what a parent can do to help a child learn to thrive.  Thriving is not an innate skill.  It is learned.

But it can also be lost in the shuffle of life.

I believe there are two paradigms of parenting:  children are like eggs or children are like balls.

Since eggs can shatter, they must be protected and insulated.  Balls, on the other hand, bounce.

Which model do you see in your own life?

(By the way, if you missed it, I challenged our common understanding of self-confidence just last week.  You can learn about that by CLICKING HERE.)

Listen below for the two theories of parenting and an introduction to this new series.