The Myth of Life Balance

Jarrod CastilloWe have a sectional couch.  My spot is right in the corner.  I can sit one way, stretch my legs out the other way.  And my dog, Ziggy, settles in right beside me.  Why do I tell you that?  Well, when I am crammed into that corner, you might say I am “balanced.”  No way will I fall over, in any direction.  I’m propped up and held in position.

Other than that, balance is something I work at.  You do, too.  Even if you aren’t aware of it.  We humans stand on two feet.  Quite a balancing accomplishment.  Your legs and feet are constantly readjusting, trying to keep you upright.  You are, in other words, always a bit off-balance.  Walking?  Simply falling forward and catching yourself.  Balance… not so much.

Then, you open up tons of self-help literature that tells you that happiness comes from “balance in life.”  But what if balance is… well… a myth?

The challenge is in trying to find some balance, deciding what to balance, and when to be off-balance.

If you follow me and my podcast much, you know that I have been doing jiu jitsu for nearly 1 1/2 years.  That pretty much makes me an advanced white belt (soon to be blue, though).  And along the way, it became clear that the moves work sometimes because I have established a balanced spot (“base” would be the term), and at times because I am willing to be off-balanced, shifting momentum in my favor.  Same in life.  Sometimes, I need to find my base.  But many times, to get the momentum, I need to be a bit off-balance.

And if you have found yourself thinking, “I need to find balance,” let me (and my guest) go ahead and shoot that down.  It is the myth of balance you need to know and understand.

This week, I interview Jarrod Castillo.  When I first met Jarrod, he was in the middle of a ballroom, doing a handstand.  And he was the only one doing it.  That caught my attention.

Jarrod and I discuss the myth of balance and why that is so important to understand.  Join me for a great interview with Jarrod (Wolf).

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Digging Down To Your True Self

Dr. Avis Attaway talks about finding your True Self.We tend to give up our “True Self” along the way, victim to our Ego — what we show the world. Your True Self didn’t go anywhere. It is tucked deep down inside, “protected.”

Not really protected, though.  The Ego and our defense mechanisms are trying to protect it.  But in the process, it gets buried.  Deeper and deeper over the years.  Unless we do some digging.  Some growing.  Some nurturing.

What buries it?  Traumas.  Bruisings.  Brushes with pain and fear.  Which is why we keep trying to compensate.  To react and keep those “dangers” away… which is really our way of keeping fear away.

According to Dr. Avis Attaway, we have to move through three phases to get back to our True Self:

  1. Self-Awareness
  2. Self-Mastery
  3. Self-Expression

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, Avis and I discuss how to get back to that True Self, our best self.

Listen below.

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Listen to the Wisdom of Your Body

GregLeeAndAntoniaVanBeckerSometimes, we spend so much time trying to think through a problem that we just get stuck.  Our minds tend to spiral on the same thoughts over and over… not really giving any new information or help.

“What should I do?” is usually followed by an almost endless loop of “What should I do?”  Or worse yet, we take action, but then realize that our thinking was more limited than we thought.

There HAS to be a better way, right?

According to Greg Lee and Antonia Van Becker, there is!  We just have to shift from listening to our thoughts.  It is not shifting to listen to someone else… not a friend, spouse, relative, or even a therapist or coach (OK, you may want to consult with someone else, but that is not the only place).

So, where do you turn?  As it turns out, not too far from your mind.  Just a bit, ummm, down.

To your body.

Let me freely admit that for lots of years, I chose to NOT listen to my body.  I lived from the neck, up.  It would seem that one day, my body decided to get my attention.  And let’s just say that the resulting mess was painful and scary.  But my body got my attention!

Even if I didn’t know how to listen at that moment, I knew I needed to pay attention to it.

Greg and Antonia take it much further.  They suggest you can even ask your body for guidance… and your body will, well, guide you.

In this episode of the podcast, Antonia and Greg share what it means to “listen to your body.”  And they share 6 steps to follow when you hit a tipping point in your day (or your life).

Listen below!

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Goodbye and Hello – Passing Through Grief

Terese CastellanosLife is a fairly constant flow of goodbyes and hellos.  Sometimes, those goodbyes are incredibly painful.  The death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job or role.  All can be painful.

And sometimes, those goodbyes feel like the end of the story.  But many times, there is more.  More to the story, more to life.  More to live.  Those are the hellos.

When you are caught up in the grief of a goodbye, it may seem like a hello is impossible.  It takes courage.  Vulnerability.  A willingness to live again.

We can live behind a fortress, trying to protect ourselves from hurts.  But that also keeps us from connecting and loving… living.

Sure, the goodbyes hurt.  But that is part of the deal with life.  Sometimes, the pain breaks us open to new possibilities and new people.

In this Thriveology Podcast episode, I interview Terese Castellanos.  As a therapist, Terese helped people through losses and life struggles… and one day realized that she, herself, was faced with the same thing.  Her husband was dying.

In our interview, Terese and I look to her story of goodbye… how that felt like the end of the story… but it wasn’t.  So, we also discuss hello.  And how to live through the goodbye, open to the hello.

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Perfect Imperfection On The Path To Thriving

AngelaStillwellMany times, life just kind of, well, hits us.  We have a major transition. Or we just hit a plateau.  What if you know there is more… you just can’t get there?  That’s when we have to find our “untapped strengths.”

Angela Stillwell is the “Vulnerability Warrior.”  Why?  Because she discovered that struggling with tough times can keep in in “survivial mode.”

Angela came from a dysfunctional family situation, with divorce and affairs, abuse, and the loss of her mother when she was young.  Yes, she “survivied” (as people would tell her), but that was not enough.

She knew there was more;  passion, purpose, perspective, service.  And Angela set out to find it.

As Angela shares with me, there are 3 steps to thriving:

  1. Connection
  2. Perfect imperfection
  3. Resurrection

Sounds like a pretty good formula to me!  Listen to this week’s podcast, as Angela shares her formula, step-by-step.

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Letting Your Future Help Today

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Valerie Lemme, FutureVisioning

What if your “future self” can help your “current self?” And maybe even help you make sense of your “past self!”

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with Valerie Lemme about her journey from painful childhood and struggling adulthood to thriving. Valerie discovered that by accessing her Future Self, she could move beyond the beliefs and stuck points she was experiencing.

But in order to get there, Valerie had to go through mental, physical, and emotional pain. Through mood swings, insomnia, panic, high blood pressure, and horrible back pain, Valerie kept looking for an answer. She trained as a healer and hypnotherapist, but couldn’t find healing for herself.

On the verge of giving up, Valerie tuned into a webinar on FutureVisioning, and her life was changed. After that, Valerie decided to help others with that same process. And today, Valerie “pulls back the curtains” to share the 7 basic principles of the process.

Her principles might be a challenge to what you believe. But if what you are currently believing isn’t quite working, it might be time for a shift. Or at least some thoughts in a new direction.

Tune in as Valerie and I discuss the 7 Principles of FutureVisioning.

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Emotional Potty-Training

An Interview with Rachel Kaplan

Rachel Kaplan - Emotional Potty-TrainierHow are you with your emotions?

This isn’t a question on whether you are “in touch with your emotions” or not.  It is how you process the emotions.

Some people have, well, “emotional diahrrea.”  Emotions just dump wherever and whenever.

Others have “emotional constipation.”  They just can’t get them out.  Emotions get stuck, lodged in hurtful and painful ways.

Maybe we all need a little “emotional potty training.”

When Rachel Kaplan was 14 years old, her boyfriend killed himself, leaving Rachel emotionally wounded.  She blamed herself and tried to make sense of such a tragedy at such a young age.  The emotional wound stayed with her for years.

And it led Rachel on a quest of healing.  First, she wanted to find her own healing.  But over the years, she began to use her new knowledge and skills to bring healing to others.  Trained in Western and Eastern healing approaches, Rachel began to see her work as “emotional potty training.”

She helps people who have buried their emotions deep in a “basement of shame,” which means the emotions cannot process through.  Her task is to help people to find their Authentic Self, to heal their core wounds, and discover their worth.

Listen in as Rachel and I discuss Emotional Potty Training.

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Never Too Late (until it’s too late)

An Interview with Lorraine Hoving

Lorraine Hoving - It's never too late to changeIt’s never too late!  Until it’s too late!

We all have an expiration date!  But up until then… there is time.  But don’t take up too much time not getting there.  The sooner you do, the better your life will be, for as long as it goes on.

Isn’t that a dichotomy?  It’s never too late to make a change.  But don’t put it off!

Here’s the thing.  If there are things you have wanted to do, but haven’t… you can really be hard on yourself.  You can chastise and shame yourself for not having taken action.  All the while, you are putting it off even longer.

OR, you can decide that the moment for change is NOW.  Not “someday.”  Not “maybe tomorrow.”  Today.

On her 60th birthday, with a full day of celebration planned, Lorraine Hoving woke up in a panic.  It occured to her that if she was fortunate enough to live to 90, she was 2/3rds of the way through life.  And that was assuming she was headed for 90!

That very day, Lorraine thought about all the goals, hopes, and dreams she had… and had not yet hit.  At that point, she was overweight and hiding from life.  And on that day, she decided things had to change.

Lorraine says she took “100% responsibility for how” her life went.  She forgave herself.  She forgave others.  And she took control of her life.

Now, she is on a mission to help others build their life… they way THEY want it.  Starting now.  It’s never too late… until it’s too late.

Listen in as Lorraine Hoving and I discuss how she took control of her life and made it a life she loves.

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Healing From Heartbreak

An Interview with Nada Hogan

Nada Hogan, healing from heartbreakLife can turn in an instant:  a phone call, a letter, a knock on the door.  Everything you thought you knew, everything that was “normal” is pulled apart and thrown upside-down.

In that heart-stopping moment, you know life will never be the same.  And sometimes, it can feel like life isn’t just changed… but over.

For Nada Hogan, that knock on the door was a pair of police officers.  While Nada was trying to figure out what was going on, she noticed that one officer’s badge said “Chaplain.”

Nada’s 18 year old daughter had been killed in an accident.

Her already-stressed life was thrown into a tailspin.  Some days, she could barely pull herself out of bed.

Then, she decided to make a change.  To honor her daughter, Darah, in living a life of purpose.

One little step at a time, Nada pulled her life back together.  She found a connection to something bigger than herself… and eventually, to a purpose bigger than her grief.

Now, Nada helps others move through their heartbreaks to find healing.  She starts at the place where you might not even want to get out of bed.  She knows that spot!  She’s been there.

Join Nada and me as we discuss how to heal after heartbreak.

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Your Purpose

Living Your Engagement

The Engaged Life Series


How to live an engaged life.  Find wellness, joy, and creativity as a way of fully engaging in life.
Over the last 2 episodes, we have been talking about YOUR Engaged Life. How to build a life of passion, purpose, and presence.

Amplifying that life through gratitude, spirituality, and awe.

Here’s the thing… not to be a downer here… you and I, we are going to die.  Someday.

Likely, you don’t know when that will happen.  I don’t know when I will die.  I just know that it is in my future.

Why does that matter?

That very fact is what makes life valuable, makes TIME valuable.  If you live forever, what you do today doesn’t matter so much.  You could do it tomorrow or next year, or in a hundred years.

But knowing we only have so much time… that changes things.  We have 2 tasks:  to live as fully as we can, in the time we have… and make that time last as long as possible.

At least, that is MY task.  How can I live fully?  And how can I live fully?

If you are thinking that might be YOUR task, listen in to the podcast below.

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Book:  The Thrive Principles