Big WHY Vs. Little Why’s

Your BIG WHY versus the little why's that keep you stuck.What’s your WHY?  Your BIG WHY?  Why you are here.  The WHY that is your life purpose?

I think we all have one… even if we haven’t found it yet.  It’s there.  Within us.  Your first task is to find it.  That’s important.  But finding it isn’t enough.  Second, you have to move toward it, work toward it… try to fulfill it.  If it is big enough, it may just take you the rest of your life!

But what could get in your way??

The little “why’s.”  Your questions about “why did this happen?”, “why are things this way?”, “why do I feel this way?”

Those little why’s can drown out the BIG WHY.  It draws our attention away from what is important.  And yet, those little why’s get our attention and energy.  They keep us in circles, chasing after nothing helpful or useful.  Just stuck.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss our BIG WHY and the little why’s that keep us away from the BIG WHY.

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How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 1

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

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2 Targets To Thrive

Two targets for thriving in good and bad times.“But where do I start?”, he asked. I was at a conference talking about thriving. I’d spent a good amount of time discussing some principles of thriving. But I could tell it was a bit overwhelming to my new friend.

He challenged me, “You said I could thrive, no matter what life is throwing my way. So, where do I start if things are going well, and where do I start when things are not going so well?”

I thought for a brief moment and said, “Either way, you aim at two targets. They both apply, whether things are going well or not so well. When you are at the top of your game or at the bottom, these two targets remain.”

“It can’t be that easy,” he replied.

“Easy? I never mentioned ‘easy.’ I just said that there are two targets, no matter where you are,” I offered.

“OK,” he responded, “I’m all ears. What are the two targets?”

Gratitude and Growth.

Those are the two targets. Targets… you aim at them. You may not always hit them. But you aim at them.

When things are good, it is easier to remember to practice gratitude — and yet, we often forget to do it. When things are tough, there are still things for which to be grateful. But it can be a challenge.

When times are tough, growth is often the outcome. But it isn’t always fun to find the lessons. And when things are good, we think we have it down — no need to learn. And yet, there are plenty of things to learn at the top. And at that bottom. And in between.

In this episode of the podcast, I discuss these two targets. And how to hit them.

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Teaching Thrive Principles To Kids

Raising Thriving Children Series

Teaching Thrive Principles to children and young adults.In my recent book, Thrive Principles, I provide 15 strategies for living a thriving life.  In that book, I note that this does not mean an absence of struggle and tough times.  I suggest, instead, that these tough times are the fuel for thriving.  They are the times we build our thriving muscles — IF we understand how to thrive.

Guess what?

This is a great list of strategies to teach children and young people.  Imagine entering adulthood with those strategies and skills at the ready.  Imagine that when the tougher times come, young adults already know how to move through them — and thrive!

I’ve noticed that many people never learn to thrive.  And many learn to thrive only when they are at a tough point.  Then, when nothing is working, they finally have to find a way to thrive — in the midst of struggle!

Wouldn’t it be easier to master those skills along the way, when we are just trying to figure out the skills of life, anyway?  What if we just learned the helpful skills — not the unhelpful coping strategies that usually cause more struggle down the road?

Take a listen to the podcast to hear how those Thrive Principles can help your child.  (And if you think YOU might benefit, LEARN MORE HERE or grab Thrive Principles wherever you like to buy your books.)

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children
Ingredients To Thriving Children
Antidote To A Narcissistic World

The Appreciation Approach

Tools to Thrive Series

The Appreciation ApproachYour brain is really only capable of being in one of two modes:  fear/threat or love/appreciation. Unfortunately, the fear/threat mode is pretty much the default and automatic.

Fortunately, changing to manual and shifting to love/appreciation is not complicated.

More than that, there is plenty of research to point to the specific benefits of that shift:

  • Better emotional health,
  • Higher pain tolerance,
  • Higher sociability,
  • Greater life satisfaction,
  • More sleep,
  • More exercise,
  • etc., etc., etc.

There really isn’t much of a downside to gratitude and appreciation.  It just requires a shift in habits to get there.

Got 10 minutes or so per day, just for the next month?  YOU can build your appreciation/gratitude  toolkit and add it to your Thriving Toolbox.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift
Your Built-In Importance Indicator
The Importance Matrix

Your Thrive Toolbox

Tools To Thrive Series

Your Thrive Toolbox.Having the right tool can make ALL the difference.  Ever tried to drive a screw with a hammer?  I have.  It didn’t go so well.

A few years back, I was changing out some faucets.  After stripping the skin off my knuckles and muttering a few choice words, I decided there HAD to be a tool that would help me get those faucets loose.

Turns out there was!  Once I had the tool, everything was easier.

The other day, as I was taking my morning walk with Ziggy (my dog), it occurred to me that there were some tools that help you to thrive.  You might need these tools in your “thrive toolbox.”

Some are mindset shifts.  Others are processes.  And others are exercises.  They all help you build toward a thriving life.

This week, we launch into a new series on these Thriving Tools.  What they are.  How to use them.  How they help you to thrive.

Listen below.

The Thrive Principles Simplified

Today is a big day for me.  It is the release date for my new book, Thrive Principles.  This book is near and dear to my heart.  I have lived with it for years, collecting and developing the strategies throughout my career.

The fifteen strategies can help you build a thriving life, regardless of what is going on in your life.  Tough times or easy times, we can all thrive throughout life.

Please check out my new baby at the book’s website RIGHT HERE.

The Thrive Principles SimplifiedSince I have spent a great deal of time thinking about these principles, I have come to understand how intertwined the principles are.  In fact, I have realized that you don’t have to focus on all 15.  Choose a few.  The others will almost naturally come through.

A coaching client challenged me, “Can you boil it down?  Make it stupid-simple.”

So I did.  But I wanted to be clear, “Simple” does not equal “Easy.”  If someone wants an easy way to thrive. . . it doesn’t exist.  In fact, taking the easy way is how many people suffer and stay stuck.

What I discovered in coaching was focusing on two pieces is the core of it all:
1)  Personal Responsibility
2) Meaning/Purpose/Impact Triad

Put your focus there and you thrive.  The other principles serve as clarifying and support strategies.

I cover these two pieces in today’s podcast below.

In the meantime, please CHECK OUT MY NEW BOOK HERE.

Getting Unstuck Intro

New Series Introduction on How To Get Un-Stuck

How we get stuck.  And how we get un-stuck.During my career as a therapist, person after person came to figure out why they were stuck.  As I transitioned to coaching, I realized my focus was on how to get unstuck.

How we get stuck is merely a starting point.  The real task is how to get un-stuck and moving toward our aspirations.

When we are stuck, we can’t be thriving.  But the process of getting unstuck is also the process of thriving.

I believe that we all have the capacity of being un-stuck, regardless of circumstances and situations.

How you are stuck is similar for all of us.  What you do when you are un-stuck, that can vary greatly.  But the process of getting unstuck is the same.

Today, listen in as I tell you how Bill got stuck.

If this strikes a cord in you, please share this episode with the social sharing buttons below, and consider giving a review of the podcast in iTunes or in Stitcher.

Let’s thrive!