Learn or… Learn

Win or lose... or learn and learn.I don’t know about you, but I was raised around competition.  Not so much from my parents, but from culture.  In school, you compete in all sorts of tasks… trying to prove how smart, how good, how talented, how athletic, how whatever you are… compared to the others.

It doesn’t stop there, but keeps on going.  Win or lose.  That’s all that matters.  Well, winning.  That’s what matters.

Remember Ricky Bobby from the movie, Talladega Nights? “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”  In other words, you win… or you have lost.

(Do remember, though, that at another point in the movie, Ricky Bobby is talking with his Dad… and gets challenged:
Ricky Bobby: “Wait, Dad. Don’t you remember the time you told me ‘If you ain’t first, you’re last’?”
Reese Bobby: “Huh? What are you talking about, Son?”
Ricky Bobby: “That day at school.”
Reese Bobby: “Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth.”
Ricky Bobby: “What? I’ve lived my whole life by that!”
There you go… a first… a quote in a Will Ferrell movie to make a point about thriving!)

We grow up on that whole “win or learn” thing… which ties us tightly to our ego.  If we win, ego boost.  If we lose, ego bruise.  What will others think??

Maybe it is worth making a shift.

Nelson Mandela said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” When you don’t win, you can learn! Great shift.  “Losing” is an opportunity for learning.  When you don’t win, there is an opportunity for growth, for learning… for being better.

But it is still bound by ego. What if it isn’t even the win? But the learn? Then, we either learn… or we learn.

Listen to this episode for more on winning/losing versus learning/learning.

RELATED RESOURCES
What I learned in Jiu Jitsu
More I learned in Jiu Jitsu
Even MORE I learned in Jiu Jitsu
Trial-And-Error Mindset
Three Growth Mindsets
Showing UP
Book:  Thrive Principles
Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

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Course Corrections and Course Changes

Do you need to make a course correction or a course change?“How did I end up here?,” my client asked.  He told me that for so long, he thought he was headed in the right direction.  Now, he thinks maybe it was the entirely wrong direction.

I asked him, “Did you course correct along the way?”  He looked at me rather quizzically.  So, I elaborated, “If you are sailing, you point the boat toward some object in the distance, in the direction you want to sail.  You sail toward it.  But the winds push, the current pushes, and you end up a little off-course.  So, you course correct.”

But then, I added: “Sometimes, you realize that where you thought you wanted to go is not really where you want to go… or maybe it isn’t safe to go.  Maybe a storm or something else.  But you have to go somewhere else.  So, you change course.”

And I continued, “Then there are the times when you don’t course-correct as you go, and the small space of being off-course begins to broaden as you go.  What might have been just a course correction at the beginning is now a course change.”

Then I returned to our dialogue and asked, “So, did you course correct… or is this a course change?”

Just to be clear:  either is fine.  We all have the option of course changes in life.  Sometimes, it is just a course correction.  But it is okay if you need a course change.

It’s a part of life.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I explore the difference between a course correction and a course change.  What does it look like, and when is it time for a change?

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Book:  Immutable Laws of Living
Dealing with Change
How Are You Showing Up
Meaning and Purpose

Playing Life For Real

David Wood, Playing Life For Real, playforreal.lifeHow’s your life going? The way you want?  Or not quite?  Do you want to “level up” and play a bigger game?  Have a bigger life?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with David Wood, successful-entrepreneur-turned-life-coach.  Nope, not a business coach (although he does some of that), but a life coach.  Helping successful people “level up” to more success.

While David had been successful in his work, something was missing — connection.  Tied to an early childhood trauma (we talk about it), David decided to “play it safe” with relationships… and then realized that “playing it safe” kept him disconnected and distant.

How?

Playing bigger.  Taking risks.  Daring.  And Caring.

David starts with a question, “What if we are living in a maze, running it every day?  We can keep doing that, or we can step back and decide to play it bigger.”

Using his 3 Pillars and 4 Point Plan, David points the way to anyone wanting to play on a bigger field.  To play “full out” in the game of life — which David notes is a very important game!

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
David Wood’s Website (Free Assessment and/or Free Session)
My Interview with Jack Canfield
Fear and Your Life
Showing Up

Healing Metabolism and Restoring Health

Tracee Gluhaich, The High Energy Girl, on Keto, metabolism, and chronic cardio.  Healing your metabolism.Did you know that repetitive dieting and relentless exercise can actually break your metabolism?  Your body has an amazing capacity of adjusting to circumstances around you.  If you simply drop your caloric intake, your body will assume there is a famine… and will reduce your metabolism.

If you take part in “chronic cardio,” endless cardio exercise (running, biking, climbing machines, treadmills, etc.), even if the heart monitor tells you that your pace is in “fat burning zone,” your body will quickly adjust… and you will suffer diminishing returns.

Unless you “hack” your approach, dialing back to an older energy method of your body.  That is the heart of the ketogenic approach.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, the “High Energy Girl,” Tracee Gluhaich, joins me for a discussion of her own story through diets, and how she coaches people toward healing their metabolism… and healing their relationship with food.

Tracee was raised on body-shaming beliefs that put her on a course (crash-course) through a multitude of diet and exercise approaches.  Until it all fell apart.

From there, Tracee had to rebuild, relearn, and heal.  Now, she helps people to heal their metabolism.  And she helps women to heal their relationship with food… many people trying to fill their void with food.

Join me as Tracee and I explore food, emotions, metabolism, and healing.

RELATED RESOURCES
Tracee’s Website (And Her Resources)
Your Thriving Body
Mastering Habits

Even MORE Lessons From Jiu Jitsu

Even MORE lessons I have learned from my study of jiu jitsu.I’ve rolled and been rolled, tapped and been tapped.  My journey into jiu jitsu continues!

Since my last post on lessons I have learned in jiu jitsu (LIFE lessons — not just jiu jitsu moves and techniques), I’ve continued on my journey.  The first time I posted, I was just a few months into my study.  When I completed my Combatives belt (a Gracie standard), I added a second post.

This past month, I hit another achievement, having been awarded my Blue belt.  So, it is time for a bit more reflection and thought.

After 16 months of fairly intense study, I realize that the deeper I dig, the more there is to learn.  Kind of like life.  Something seems so simple… until you start in.  Then, things become far more complex.

Mastery is the point when the complex becomes simple again.  And I am far from that.

Join me as I explore 5 more lessons I’ve learned (and relearned) from my time studying jiu jitsu.

RELATED RESOURCES
Lessons Learned From Jiu Jitsu
More Lessons Learned from Jiu Jitsu
Growth Mindset
Gracie University
Gracie Jiu Jitsu Louisville (come join us!)

Success Leaves A Trail

CoreyPoirierWe can fail in so many ways.  Often, it is just a matter of stumbling through, not looking for a better path.  We forge new paths to failure.  That is often “life on automatic.”

If someone has succeeded, though, they leave a trail.  The more people who succeed that same way just make the trail more clear, the path easier to follow.  Success always leaves a trail.  Everywhere in life.

When I wanted to write a book, I knew I could stumble through… and maybe I would succeed.

Or maybe I would fail.

An easy way to fail?  Never figuring out how to start.  Never writing.  That would certainly keep me from writing a book.  But there were lots of other ways to fail at it.

Or… I could talk to others who had done it.

Success leaves a trail.

Corey Poirier is a professional speaker.  But he has another distinction.  He has interviewed over 5000 high-achievers.  And over time, he noticed some common traits of high-achievers.

I had a chance to interview Corey… while he was getting rushed out of his hotel room!  The life of a speaker!

Anyway, in our interview, Corey shared the 5 top traits of high-achievers.  These traits are not just about business (although they apply there).  They are also about life!

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Corey Poirier’s Website
Success and Purpose
Boundaries
Best Start To The Day