Stressed Out? Here’s Why…

WhyWeStressThese days are filled with stress. The pandemic, politics, relationships, work, pay, weather. You name it, these are stressful times.

But what IS stress?

As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about.

When we talk about “stress,” in everyday life, we are more talking about psychological stress.  Which is really just a term for something else.  Something we’d rather not claim.

But once we recognize what it really is, we can do something about it.  So, let’s figure out why we stress… and what we can do about it.

Listen below to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to discover what stress really is… and what we can do about it.

RELATED RESOURCES
We ALL Have Fears
Your Thriving Body
Dealing With Anxiety
Dealing With Depression
Thrive Principles Book

Stuck in Self-Splain

Have you noticed that story you are telling yourself (and others) that is running through your mind?  It is the one about why you did (or didn’t do) what you did (or didn’t do).  You are trying to explain yourself — to yourself and others.

You are Self-Splaining.

And it is a story.  Not necessarily a lie.  But also not necessarily the truth.

Humans are story tellers and meaning makers.  The stories we tell are to make meaning.  It helps the world to make sense, and helps us give reasons for what we did.

And it can keep you stuck.

Your self-splaining keeps you stuck because it “helps” you to make your actions/inactions reasonable (to yourself).  Reasonable, as in “Able to Reason.”  You can give a reason.  One that makes sense to you… even if not to anyone else.  You can just keep telling yourself “why” — self-splaining.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss how we self-splain, why that can get you stuck, and what to do to get un-stuck.

RELATED RESOURCES
Paradigms
Stuck and Unstuck
Reasons
Responsibility
My Books on Thriving

 

You are Built for Purpose

You are built for purpose.  Live it out!So many of us feel despair.  It is not as much a loss of hope as loss of purpose.  There is no hope without a sense of purpose.  It is in your basic design.

Humans are meaning-makers.  We find meaning in what happens (or doesn’t happen) around us and to us.  We can find meaning in random numbers and events, in an attempt to make sense of the world.

But meaning, alone, is not enough.  We also need a sense of purpose. We need to feel that we are moving toward something worthwhile… something significant.

You have a purpose.  Whether you are moving toward it or not, it is within you.  Waiting.

It is your purpose imprint.  Finding it is not enough.  But achieving it isn’t what marks success.  It is in the movement toward your purpose.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss how we are primed for purpose, need a sense of purpose.  And I cover what happens when you don’t have that purpose.  And we discuss how to move toward that purpose.

RELATED RESOURCES
MPI Triad
Meaning Matters
Thrive Principles Book
All of My Books

Is the Present Perfect?

Is the present perfect?  Yes.  Find out how in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.My client was telling me about lots of struggles, difficult times, and a few positive moments.  I noted, as I have many times with many clients, “It sounds like your present is perfect.”

She went silent.  I was silent.  But I could see her processing and struggling with my words.  I sat quietly.

She finally erupted: “Perfect?!? How can you say that?  After all the stuff I told you… how can you tell me that things are perfect?”

I told her, “I didn’t say great.  I didn’t say it was how you wanted them to be.  Only that the present is perfect.”

In that moment, I could see her gears turning… but she still couldn’t make sense of what I was saying.

How can things feel upside-down and inside-out, and be perfect?

“Perfect” does not mean preferred.  It means something is complete.  A perfectly cooked steak is complete. It is cooked to a certain level.  But also consider a “perfect storm,” the perfect combination of  circumstances that mean the storm is more powerful than when those circumstances don’t combine.

The idea of the Present Perfect, which sounds like grammar, comes from life coach, Thomas Leonard.  He noted that the Present Perfect is the fact that this moment perfectly reflects everthing that has come before, up until now.

Why does that matter?  We explore it in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below

RELATED RESOURCES
Medium Article on the Present Perfect
Importance of Acceptance
What Can You Control?
Accept or Act
My Books

How NOT To Thrive: Top 5

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
It Isn’t Personal
It IS What It IS
Forgiving
Hard Isn’t The Question
Dealing with Fear
Book:  Thrive Principles

 

Paths to Mindfulness

Mindfulness is such a buzzword these days that you may find yourself “tuning out” when you hear the term.  Ironic, since that is quite the opposite of being mindful!

Simply put, mindfulness is the state of being present with your body in the present moment.  In other words, you are aware of your bodily experience of this immediate moment.

The nice thing about mindfulness is that it is easy to practice, wherever you are and whatever you are doing.  It is simply a matter of calling yourself back to this moment, in your own body.

And then… it slips away again, through distractions and thoughts.  Thoughts about the past and future pull us from the present.  We distract ourselves right out of the experience of living in this moment.

Joanne King, Pathways to Mindfulness.  Mindful eating and ending dieting.My guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, Joanne King, offers a number of pathways to mindfulness.

Of particular interest is Joanne’s approach to mindful eating.  How often do you find yourself scarfing down a meal, not even noticing the taste, texture, spices, smells, and ingredients… the experience of eating?  I have.

According to Joanne, this means that we often eat beyond what we need… and not necessarily even what we need to eat.  When people shift to mindful eating, Joanne reports, they eat better and naturally lose weight.

And… it is an opportunity to enter into mindfulness.

Join me as I discuss pathways to mindfulness with Joanne King.

RELATED RESOURCES
Joanne’s website
Using Mindfulness to Thrive
The Importance of Being Present
Confidence… in the Moment

Choosing Health

Most people want to be in better health.  In fact, I have yet to run into anyone telling me, “I just wish I was in worse health.”  We all want to be in better health!

But for many, that is confusing.  There is so much conficting information.  One day, you eat one thing or drink one thing, and it seems that just a few days later, that is detrimental for your health.  Or vice versa!

How confusing it can be!  It can be hard to feel confident in your choices.  And yet, health is always about choices.  Sure, we have those pesky genes that we are born with.  But did you know that much of our health is not based in the genes we have, but how they are expressed?  And did you know that the expression of genes is based in what we are exposed to in our environment?  What is around us, and what we put in us, affects how those genes affect us.

When I got sick, I kept digging for information (and found lots of mis-information).  I felt like I was guessing.  But I kept on guessing.  I got lucky and found some decent resources.

How to find your best health choices to bring healing to your body.  Interview with Maureen Vincenty.What I would have loved was someone who brought a scientist’s mind, and a fellow traveler’s heart, to the process.  Someone who could point the way with some clarity to me.

This week, my guest is Maureen Vincenty.  A former scientist with NASA and the EPA, Marueen used her inquisitive mind to find the resources.  And she used her experimenting mind on herself as the guinea pig.  Suffering from auto-immune illness and issues, Maureen was determined to figure out her path to health and healing.

Long into having found her own healing, Maureen has worked to help many others find their own health and healing by discovering choices that make a difference.

That approach allows Maureen to tackle what amounts to 90% of healthcare these days:  lifestyle-based diseases.  And that approach can help you find healing, too.

In our interview, Maureen offers her 5 Pillars of Health, telling you exactly how to activate each pillar.

It turns out that much of my stumbling and guessing lines up with exactly what Maureen suggests.  I just wish I had the information at hand when I needed it.  You do.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Maureen Vincenty’s Website for Resources
The Thriving Body Series
Your Thriving Breathing

Having Tough Conversations

Tough conversations are, well, tough.  You know, those conversations you know you need to have… but avoid having them.  Maybe you aren’t comfortable with the topic.  Or maybe it feels risky to have that conversation.

Here is the problem:  when we avoid tough conversations, we also avoid real engagement.  And we miss the opportunity for deeper connection, more intimacy… and importantly, the opportunity for resolution!David Wood, Playing Life For Real, playforreal.life, how to have tough conversations.

My guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast is a returning guest.  Always about “keeping it real,” David Wood returns to discuss how to have those tough conversations.  David says he is an evangelist for tough conversations, trying to spread the word on how important those convos are!

But more than that, David wants to share a process of how to have those tough conversations on difficult issues. In his 4 step process (plus 1 “pre”-step), David reveals a method of how to have the conversations you’ve been ducking and avoiding.  You just have to follow the steps (and he has a special tool available to help you with it).

Stop avoiding the tough conversations.  Learn how to have them.  Learn to resolve the underlying issues.  And watch your life expand.

RELATED RESOURCES
David’s Website for Free Resource
Earlier Podcast with David
Dealing with Anxiety
Showing Up in Live
Finding MORE in Life

How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 1

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
It Isn’t Personal
It IS What It IS
Forgiving
Hard Isn’t The Question
Dealing with Fear
Book:  Thrive Principles

 

Rules For Living Series

What Are The Rules For Living?Do you have any “rules for living”? Thoughts or ideas that you follow as guidelines for living? Maybe you don’t always follow them… but you intend to. You treat them like rules. They aren’t really “laws,” concepts you MUST follow, or you find yourself in trouble. (See my Immutable Laws for Living book for these.)

Rules just make life easier. They keep you moving forward, in the direction you want.

If you have some, great! See how they compare to my 10 rules.

If you don’t have rules, consider trying out my 10 rules.

Below are links to trainings on each of the 10 rules for living.

RULES OF LIVING SERIES
#1 Let Fear Point, Not Direct
#2 Be Present In The  Present
#3 Accept the Past and Revise the Future
#4 Grieve Losses and Celebrate Gains
#5 Forgive to Live
#6 Listen to Your Higher Self
#7 Teach Others How to Treat You
#8 Control What You Can; Release The Rest
#9 Do Your Part and Wait for the Moment
#10 Live Each Day As THE Day