The 4 “Can’ts”

Why "Can't" is so Dangerous.“You can’t. . . .”  “I can’t. . . .”  That pretty much ends the conversation.

Which is unfortunate.  History is littered with people doing the very things someone else said, “You can’t do that.”  Turns out, you can.

And many times, we do the same things to ourselves.  We start tell ourselves, “I can’t,” and then believe it.  We know we can’t do it.  We just told ourselves we can’t.

In reality, there are 4 types of “I can’ts.”  One is absolutely true.  The three others are not true.  They are about capability, timing, and. . . well, that last one is important enough that I cover it in this week’s podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Learning and Life
Be an Experiment
Show Up
Prior Podcast on Can’t

 

When to Act, How to Accept

ActOrAcceptI always find it helpful to have some “rules” to live by.  Short statements that help keep me pointed in the right direction, ready to handle the challenges of life.

And let’s be honest:  challenges are an unavoidable part of life.  Those who tell you that having struggles, challenges, or illnesses is an indication that you are doing something wrong?  They are wrong and misguided.  Life is going to challenge each of us… right up until we die.  Which every one of us will do.

So the question is how we live our lives.  Today.  Right now.  Regardless of what life is throwing your way.

What we often do, in the face of a challenge:  Worry, Complain, Avoid.  All three keep us stuck, frozen in place and to the challenge ahead of us.

So, I have decided instead, to adopt the rule of “Act or Accept.”  I will either act toward resolution, or I will accept where I am.  And the acceptance?  It need not be permanent.  It is about where I am right now.  It may be waiting for a possible action.

Let’s talk about this rule and how to apply it.  Listen to the podcast episode below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Getting Unstuck
Anxiety Resources
Rules for Living
Thrive Principles Book
Immutable Laws of Living Book

Never Too Late (until it’s too late)

Lorraine Hoving - It's never too late to changeIt’s never too late!  Until it’s too late!

We all have an expiration date!  But up until then… there is time.  But don’t take up too much time not getting there.  The sooner you do, the better your life will be, for as long as it goes on.

Isn’t that a dichotomy?  It’s never too late to make a change.  But don’t put it off!

Here’s the thing.  If there are things you have wanted to do, but haven’t… you can really be hard on yourself.  You can chastise and shame yourself for not having taken action.  All the while, you are putting it off even longer.

OR, you can decide that the moment for change is NOW.  Not “someday.”  Not “maybe tomorrow.”  Today.

On her 60th birthday, with a full day of celebration planned, Lorraine Hoving woke up in a panic.  It occured to her that if she was fortunate enough to live to 90, she was 2/3rds of the way through life.  And that was assuming she was headed for 90!

That very day, Lorraine thought about all the goals, hopes, and dreams she had… and had not yet hit.  At that point, she was overweight and hiding from life.  And on that day, she decided things had to change.

Lorraine says she took “100% responsibility for how” her life went.  She forgave herself.  She forgave others.  And she took control of her life.

Now, she is on a mission to help others build their life… they way THEY want it.  Starting now.  It’s never too late… until it’s too late.

Listen in as Lorraine Hoving and I discuss how she took control of her life and made it a life she loves.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Lorraine’s Website
Taking Responsibility
Starting Now
Forgiving
Book:  The Forgive Process

Act or Accept

ActOrAcceptI always find it helpful to have some “rules” to live by.  Short statements that help keep me pointed in the right direction, ready to handle the challenges of life.

And let’s be honest:  challenges are an unavoidable part of life.  Those who tell you that having struggles, challenges, or illnesses is an indication that you are doing something wrong?  They are wrong and misguided.  Life is going to challenge each of us… right up until we die.  Which every one of us will do.

So the question is how we live our lives.  Today.  Right now.  Regardless of what life is throwing your way.

What we often do, in the face of a challenge:  Worry, Complain, Avoid.  All three keep us stuck, frozen in place and to the challenge ahead of us.

So, I have decided instead, to adopt the rule of “Act or Accept.”  I will either act toward resolution, or I will accept where I am.  And the acceptance?  It need not be permanent.  It is about where I am right now.  It may be waiting for a possible action.

Let’s talk about this rule and how to apply it.  Listen to the podcast episode below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Getting Unstuck
Anxiety Resources
Rules for Living
Thrive Principles Book
Immutable Laws of Living Book

Can’t Is Dangerous

Why "Can't" is so Dangerous.“You can’t. . . .”  “I can’t. . . .”  That pretty much ends the conversation.

Which is unfortunate.  History is littered with people doing the very things someone else said, “You can’t do that.”  Turns out, you can.

And many times, we do the same things to ourselves.  We start tell ourselves, “I can’t,” and then believe it.  We know we can’t do it.  We just told ourselves we can’t.

In reality, there are 4 types of “I can’ts.”  One is absolutely true.  The three others are not true.  They are about capability, timing, and. . . well, that last one is important enough that I cover it in this week’s podcast.

PRIOR PODCAST ON CAN’T

 

The Responsibility Formula

Being 100% Responsible:  The Responsibility Formula

E + R = O

It’s one of my favorite formulas.  And it isn’t even math!

Well, it kinda is.  It is the Responsibility Formula Dr. Robert Resnick developed, and Jack Canfield popularized.

And it is powerful.

Like most formulas, all the parts must be present.

Many times, people assume that what happens around them determines what happens to them.  They miss a piece of the formula.

Sometimes, people assume they have full control of life, that they can choose their path, without outside interference.  They also miss a piece of the formula.

Master this formula and you will have a grasp on responsibility in your life — and how to work the formula in your favor.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

Your Life Is YOUR Responsibility

Your Life is YOUR Responsibility:  Immutable Law of Living100%

All you.

Your life is 100% your responsibility.  (Notice I did NOT say 100% your fault.  HUGE difference between fault and responsibility.)

Your life and how it goes is YOUR responsibility.  That would be your “Ability to Respond.”  You get a choice in that.

Many times, we like to pretend we don’t have choices, we are pushed by forces beyond us.  And yes, things do happen.  We then have a choice on what we do.  That is the responsibility piece.it isn’t o

Let me explain further in this week’s podcast episode.  Hit the “play” button below!

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears

Can’t Change The Past So Stop Trying

Let your past stay in your past.  Focus on the present and future.It is an interesting human characteristic that we spend lots of energy trying to rework and change the past — at the same time, we fail to believe we can change our future!

A belief that the future is unchangeable (and actions/inactions that often reveal this hidden belief) is called fatalism.  It is a belief that fate is set.  The ancient Greeks and Romans believed in the Fates, three women who created the thread of life for each person, measured it out, then cut it, when it was time to die.  No beating the fates.

Que sera sera.  

“Whatever will be, will be.”

I think I much prefer (please excuse my attempt at translation),  Que fuera era. Whatever was, was.  That might be “reverse fatalism.”  The past has happened and can’t be changed.  But we do have some choice about how the future plays out.

We don’t have FULL control of our futures.  But we have much more than we often like to claim.  And that might be the better focus:  changing what we CAN change, what we CAN control.

The past is NOT part of what we can change.  The future (starting in the present) holds much more potential.

Join me as I explore this “Reverse Fatalism.”

RELATED RESOURCES:
Interview With Jack Canfield
Accepting What Is
The Control Paradox
Forgive
Show Up
Responsibility
Gratitude
Consider Being A Patron


What Thriving People Know About Assuming Responsibility

Assume 100% responsibility for your life.That word, “responsibility,” is such a loaded term.  I immediately go back to childhood, where some adult was saying, “who’s responsible for this mess?”

What they were really asking was, “Who’s fault is this?”

And nobody wants to be blamed.  So, everyone sits quietly.

Perhaps a better question would be, “Who will take responsibility for fixing this?”

Who did it?  Often, it doesn’t matter.  Who will deal with it?  Usually, in your life, it is YOU.

The word, “Responsibility,” is really “Ability to Respond.”  We all have it.  But Thrivers accept responsibility for their lives.  They assume 100% responsibility for their own lives.

How about you?

Here’s what Thrivers do, and how we all can do more of it.

5 Steps To Overcoming Inertia: Physics and Being Stuck

Don't stay stuck.  Overcome your inertia.Inertia.  Being stuck.  We all find ourselves there at one point or another.

The question is whether we stay stuck or get moving.  The choice is whether to let inertia continue or overcome it.

Some days, we can feel like Sisyphus, repeatedly trying to push that rock up the hill.  Often, we find ourselves behind the rock, not even sure how to start pushing.

Or maybe we just believe it is too hard to even start.

Enter Newton’s 1st law of motion: “Objects in motion tend to remain in motion; objects at rest tend to remain at rest — until acted upon by an outside force.”

YOU are that outside force for issues in your life:  health, relationships, work, etc.  YOU are the force that can overcome the inertia in these areas.

Discover the 5 ways to overcome inertia in this week’s podcast.  Listen below, then tell me what you think in the comments area!

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