What Stage Are You In? – Pandemic Grief

Stages of grief and the covid pandemic.Have you ever had the experience of a doctor telling you what was wrong with you, and even if you couldn’t really do anything, it helped to know what it was?  Maybe it was just an ache or pain, a small illness.  Just having a name for it — even some fancy latin term (or maybe especially some latin term) — somehow makes it seem better.  Naming something helps us feel some control.

This pandemic has stripped us of many feelings of control.  It more often feels like life is disrupted and dangerous.  Early in the pandemic — but far enough in that it was clear we were headed down a long path — I was wondering why it took me so long to process that we were in for a long-haul… with implications for every segment of life.  Why had I “missed” the signs?

Denial.  That is what I realized.  I had been playing the denial game.

Which reminded me that I was experiencing a grief response.  I was in grief!  From the pandemic.  Well, the pandemic losses and impact.

Over the next few weeks, as I talked with individuals and organizations, I noticed that we were all in collective grief, as well as experiencing the individual grief.  And as the pandemic has continued, I have noticed that people are experiencing the different stages of grief at different times.  That very fact seems to be at the root of much of the struggles I see played out on social media and regular media.  Clashing stages.

Still, stages.  Grief comes in stages. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross noted 5 stages.  Her colleague, David Kessler, has more recently added a potential 6th stage (an aspirational stage for many).  The point of describing the stages is not so much to force people on through the stages.  It is more for being able to name the stage for what it is.  The capacity of looking at where you are and naming the stage gives a sense of control.  And when we have some sense of control, we can choose whether we are where we want to be, or if we would rather shift.  The shift becomes an option.

Or we can just name the stage and know that is what we are experiencing.

What stage of grief are you in?  I discuss the 5+1 stages in this week’s episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Medium Article by Lee Baucom on Grief
Medium Article by Lee Baucom on The Paradox of Pandemic
Book by Lee Baucom, Thrive Principles
Coping with Covid Series of Podcasts

Stay Sane While Staying Safe

Coping with COVID Series

How to stay sane while staying safe in Did you hear about the guy who had been on a meditation retreat for a couple of weeks?  He went in with “life as usual.”  And he emerged into a whole new world.  One where people are practicing social distance, sheltering at home, and scared.  One where restaurants, coffee shops, and bars are closed or limited.  One where every cough is scary.

And one where we are trying to figure out the “new normal.”

How are you doing with it?  Feeling the stress or finding your calm?  Struggling with your day, or finding a new routine for your day?

One issue with this crisis is we don’t have an end date.  Nor do we know how bad (or not so bad) things might be — which is influenced by what we do as citizens and fellow humans!

How do we stay sane while we are trying to stay safe?  That is my subject for this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

Let’s talk about some strategies for doing your best to live your best in the midst of this crisis.  Basically, how to stay sane while being safe.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Need some reading?  Check out my books.
CDC Info Page on the Coronavirus Crisis
WHO Info Page on the Coronavirus Crisis
Thriving In An Age of Panic Episode

The Synergy of Success

Dr. Morgan Oaks, Sychronizing SuccessMost people tell me that they want something more out of life.  Sometimes, they want LOTS more out of life.  Usually, though, there is something else… some new point of success.

Yet, many people find themselves stuck in a cycle of “inaction” or “any action.”  They are taking no action toward a change.  Or they randomly take action after action, with little to show for it.

Others seem to find a direct path straight to their goal.  They seem to pluck success from everything they do.

What is the difference?  Why do some struggle to find success, and others seem to step into success in every step?

Let’s for a moment, set aside why some just seem to struggle from success to success.  Let’s focus, instead, on how to make a shift toward your own success.  Toward finding more success and more fulfillment.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I interview Dr. Morgan Oaks.  Morgan is a chiropractor, coach, and speaker.  Morgan’s TEDx Talk is all about listening to that deeper voice to take you to a higher place.

In our discussion, Morgan describes the 3 stages to synchronizing success, which builds on itself in a figure-8 pattern, repeating to more and more success.

Listen below for the 3 steps to success with Dr. Morgan Oaks.

RELATED RESOURCE
Dr. Morgan Oaks’ Website
Surviving to Thriving
How to Build Your Self-Esteem
How to Build Your Self-Confidence
How to Show Up
Book:  Thrive Principles

The Vacation Effect — Even If You Don’t Leave Town!

Discover the Vacation Effect, how to hack your productivity and recover your life.  My guest is Denise Gosnell.Have you ever noticed what happens when it is just a few days before you head out for vacation?  If you are like most people, you go into “clear the desk” mode.  Things get done.  You become hyper-efficient.

Why does that happen right before a vacation?  Because it HAS to get done.  You want to leave with nothing hanging.  So, nothing gets in your way.

What if there was a “hack” that could get you that effect the rest of the time?  Would that let you work less… and still get the same amount done?

Denise Gosnell is a 3x successful entrepreneur.  As a successful attorney and entrepreneur, Denise had met all of her (financial) goals.  But when her house went up in flames… she realized that her (life) goals were not where she wanted them.  Sure, she had stuff… she had resources.  But she didn’t have the life she wanted.  In fact, she didn’t have time for it.

Until she made a shift.  Using business strategy and planning, productivity hacking, and prioritizing, Denise found she could be MORE successful with LESS time taken up by work.

And now, Denise shares that with others… whether you want more time from work or from home, you can find it, along with more life satisfaction, by tapping into the Vacation Effect.

RELATED RESOURCES
Vacation Effect Website
Why We Stress
Shift From Stressful to Restful
The Importance Matrix
Your Center Point
You’re Gonna Die

Success and Significance

We all face obstacles in our lives.  No matter how successful, no matter how determined we are, we will have tough moments.  Soul moments.  Times when we have to stop, collect ourselves, let go of who we have been, and step into a new space.

Sometimes, those moments are full of tragedy.

Aaron Walker is the author of View From The TopThat was the case for my guest on this episode of Thriveology Podcast.  Aaron Walker, author of View From The Top, was successful… multiple times.  After growing up poor, Aaron decided to make himself successful.

He started working young, finished high school early, and launched his first business.  He sold that and started another.  Followed by another.

And then, one day… tragedy.  Big enough that Aaron tried to hide from life.  (Aaron tells the story, himself, during our talk.) But life wasn’t quite done yet.  Aaron made a shift from success to significance.

In our discussion, Aaron reveals the cornerstones of building a life of integrity and significance.  Listen in to learn more.

RELATED RESOURCES
Aaron’s Website
Fears We All Have
MPI Triad
Making an Impact

Comfort and Joy: Deepening the Holidays

Finding your comfort and joy in the holidays!In the hustle and bustle, people lose sight of the Holidays.  Sure, we go through the motions, show up to the events, and try to put on our holiday joy.  But many times, internally, its a flat-line.  Nothing.  Nada.

Or worse… stressful.

Over the years, I have given a number of presentations about this, with title, “Merry Stress-ness and Happy Blue Year.”  Stressed out and depressed.

That’s not a great way to spend the Holidays!

It misses something… deeper.  More significant.  Something that nurtures the soul and feeds the heart.

How do you deepen the Holidays for yourself (and for those close to you)?  We discuss it in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES
Holiday Stress
Finding Calm
Give yourself the present of thriving – Book:  Thrive Principles

The Power of Expectations

Art Costello and the Power of Expectations.What do you expect from life?  Sometimes, our expectations can get us into trouble.  Maybe you expect things to go badly.  Or maybe you expect something beyond your control.  Either way, your expectations trip you up.

Yet every action you take is based on expectation.  Sure, you want to “live in the present moment.”  But present moments are often moving toward something.  For example, as I sit here, I write this with an expectation that you will read it.  If I expected it would not be read, I would do something else.

Or lets say I go to the fridge to open it.  I didn’t blindly do that.  I was expecting to find something to eat (which may or may not work out… but I have an expectation).

Some people advise us to give up expectations.  No expectation, no disappointment, they say.

But today, my guest disagrees.  He says expectations have power.  We need to tap into our expectations in order to create the life we want.

Art Costello is creator of Expectation Therapy.  He says your life changes when you change your expectation.  It is the seed from which we both perceive the world and grow into our better lives.

Listen in to master the power of your expectations.

RELATED RESOURCES
Art Costello’s Website, Expectation Therapy
Kill That Sacred Cow!
The Power of A Challenge
Big WHY versus Little Why’s

 

Why Thankful?

Why Thankful?  Practicing thankfulness and gratitude this Thanksgiving Day and every other day.In the States, this Thursday is Thanksgiving Day.  What’s the point, right?  Let’s just jump on into Christmas season!  The stores are already bustling and everything seems to be bursting with green and red.

I have nothing against Christmas.  But I do think there is an important pause, a moment.  A time to be thankful.  Not to just say a quick word of thanks, then dive into a gut-busting meal.  But to be thankful.

To practice gratitude.

Why?

Because our brain’s default is on scarcity, not abundance — what we DON’T have, not what we HAVE.  Where we AREN’T, not where we ARE.

It’s a matter of mindshift.  A choice to shift to abundance, gratitude, and thankfulness.  Not just allowing our default setting to take over, looking at the scarcity and the lack.  At what scares us.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss “Why Thankful?”  Why should we even make the shift?

I wish you a very thoughtful, thankful day filled with gratitude, wherever you are!

RELATED RESOURCES
What Thriving People Know About Gratitude and Appreciation
Giving Thanks
How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive
Living Your Engaged Life
Book:  Thrive Principles:  15 Strategies for Building a Thriving Life

Break Free From Your Prison

What prison holds you?

We ALL have some prison in our lives.  Maybe there aren’t any real bars and locked doors.  But it still keeps us stuck, trapped and unable to grow.  It might be a way of thinking, a relationship, a job.  It may be just your own view of yourself and your capacities.  But something keeps us stuck.

Is it possible to break free?  To escape the prisons in our lives?

Marian McSpadden on how to break free from your own prison.  According to my guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, is not only possible… it is crucial!

Marian McSpadden discovered that she was trapped in a life… a belief system… that kept her from becoming her truest and best self.

So, she planned her escape!  And she broke free.  In her case, quite literally.  Was it easy?  No.  Was it worthwhile?  Marian says, “Absolutely!”

And so, Marian is out to help others find their freedom from their own prison.  If you are stuck, caught in a belief system, a relationship, a job, or something else, discover your path out, your escape route!

Listen in as Marian McSpadden and I discuss the power of breaking free from your prison.

RELATED RESOURCES
Marian’s Website with Helpful Resources
Getting Un-Stuck
Dealing with Fear
Fear and Courage
KNAC Protocol

Holding On (When Life Gets You Down)

How to Hold Up When Life Gets You Down.Life is tough.

Not always.  But along the way.  And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn’t mean there isn’t another one up ahead.  That’s just the nature of life.

It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson.  It’s just the nature of life.

You may notice 2 crowds.  First is the “Grind Culture” that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work.  They have a point that you have to get through some tough times.  But sometimes, it is wise to step back and ask if the fight is worth it.

Then there is the “Sign Culture.”  That group tells you that any struggle is an indication you are on the wrong path, that something is wrong with you, and that life “should” be easy… if you are doing it right.  They have a point that sometimes, a struggle is pointing to you moving the wrong way… swimming upstream.  But the fact is, life means struggles… at times.

So what do you do to hold up when life gets you down?

We discuss it… and 5 things to do… on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Does Everything Happen for a Reason?
Dealing with Emotional Pain
Facing Fears
Accepting What Is
Book:  Thrive Principles – 15 Strategies for Building YOUR Thriving Life