Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

DontBelieveThinkThose thoughts, they get us into trouble, don’t they?

We keep looking for that thing that will make us happy. We think we know. We think that thing, that person, that place, that paycheck, position, etc., etc., will finally do it.

Until we get it, get there, have that relationship, or whatever… only to find that it didn’t quite work.

Oh, sure, we might be happy for a brief time. But not the way we thought. That “shiny new object” just didn’t do it. And back to the drawing board we go.

Mostly because we keep thinking that that thing “out there” is going to do it.

Notice that “happy” and “happen” share a root.  Something out there needs to happen in order for us to be happy.

Which is not the path to happiness.  No matter what your thoughts are telling you.

In this podcast episode, I discuss why our thoughts trick us, and what to do instead.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Thoughts are Thoughts
Meaning 
Making An Impact
Happiness?

3 MORE Ways We Get Stuck

Getting Unstuck

MoreWaysWeGetStuckIn the last episode, I discussed 3 ways we get stuck. This week, I cover 3 MORE ways we get stuck.

As it turns out, we humans are pretty darn creative in how we get ourselves stuck.

And how we manage to think it was someone else who did it!

So, in this second round of ways we get stuck, I turn my attention to 3 ways that seem to be outside of ourselves, and outside of our control.

Which is why they are such problems.  If you believe the problem is “out there,” it is hard to know how to change things “in here.”

So, let’s take a look at these three ways we get stuck, and how to turn it around.

3 Ways We Get Stuck

(and how to get unstuck)

HowWeGetStuckWe all get stuck. We want to move forward… but something holds us back. WE hold ourselves back.

But WHY do we get so stuck?

Well, we do it to ourselves.

We don’t mean to do it, but we just get in our own way.

Which also means that once you understand WHY you get stuck, you can get OUT of your own way.

You can get unstuck.

Let’s talk about 3 ways you get yourself stuck — and how to get UN-stuck.

 

Merry Stress-ness

and Happy Holi-daze!

Merry Stress-ness and Happy Holi-daze! Dealing with holiday stress this Christmas season.And just like that, the Holiday season is upon us! All the hustle and bustle. All the events. All the demands… in the midst of a time that you want to be enjoyable, meaningful, and manageable!

Why the stress?

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss the causes of holiday stress. But more importantly, I cover the ways to cope with holiday stress.

Don’t let stress rob you of the deeper meanings and connections of this holiday season.

Thankful & Grateful

Using Gratitude to Thrive

Be thankful. Be grateful. Shift mindsets and thrive. 4 ways to focus on gratitude.In the United States, we turn our minds this week to being thankful. . . right before we turn our minds to sales, merchandise, consumption. . . and all the things we don’t have.

It always strikes me as ironic that on Thursday, we are likely going to share the things for which we are grateful, then on Friday, we will knock each other down for the next “have to have.”

Perhaps that is a metaphor of our daily life.  We know we should be thankful.  We know we should be grateful.  And we think we would be. . . if only x,y, and z were true.  If only we had the right job, person, money, or toys in our lives.  And in that instant, we are pulled back into a scarcity mindset.

A thankful mindset shifts us to gratitude for what we DO have, takes us away from a focus on what we DON’T have, and helps us shift away from the scarcity threat.

Let’s be honest:  if you are able to read this post, you are among a fortunate group of people with resources.  But this isn’t really about comparing ourselves to those with less (or more) as much as being grateful for whatever we DO have.

In this week’s podcast, I discuss the power of thankfulness, and give you 4 ways to practice gratitude in your life.  Try it out to see if it helps you to shift mindsets and thrive.

OTHER RESOURCES:
Being Thankful
Showing Gratitude
Thrive Principles

Parenting Toward Your Goal

Raising Thriving Children Series

Wrapping up our series on raising thriving children.Start with where you want to end.  Always a good plan for any trip.  Including the long-range trip of parenting.  We need to know where we want to go, if we want any hope of getting there.

This week, we close out the series on Raising Thriving Children with a few reflections and final thoughts.  And the first comes straight from Stephen Covey:  “Start with the end in mind.”

And then course-correct as you go!  Because that is part of good navigation.  It isn’t a straight path.  Clarity of the destination is important.  Being exactly on-track is not so important.

As you are going through those stages, remember this:  Parenting is always toward your own obsolescence.  Your task as a parent is to make yourself unnecessary (not absent, just not needed).  We are here to raise self-sufficient, capable people.  And that requires recognizing that parenting is toward obsolescence.

I provide 5 final thoughts in this week’s podcast.

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children
Ingredients To Thriving Children
Antidote To A Narcissistic World
Teaching Thrive Principles To Kids
Shift From Expectation To Agreement

Teaching Thrive Principles To Kids

Raising Thriving Children Series

Teaching Thrive Principles to children and young adults.In my recent book, Thrive Principles, I provide 15 strategies for living a thriving life.  In that book, I note that this does not mean an absence of struggle and tough times.  I suggest, instead, that these tough times are the fuel for thriving.  They are the times we build our thriving muscles — IF we understand how to thrive.

Guess what?

This is a great list of strategies to teach children and young people.  Imagine entering adulthood with those strategies and skills at the ready.  Imagine that when the tougher times come, young adults already know how to move through them — and thrive!

I’ve noticed that many people never learn to thrive.  And many learn to thrive only when they are at a tough point.  Then, when nothing is working, they finally have to find a way to thrive — in the midst of struggle!

Wouldn’t it be easier to master those skills along the way, when we are just trying to figure out the skills of life, anyway?  What if we just learned the helpful skills — not the unhelpful coping strategies that usually cause more struggle down the road?

Take a listen to the podcast to hear how those Thrive Principles can help your child.  (And if you think YOU might benefit, LEARN MORE HERE or grab Thrive Principles wherever you like to buy your books.)

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children
Ingredients To Thriving Children
Antidote To A Narcissistic World

Antidote To A Narcissistic World

Raising Thriving Children Series

For parents:  An antidote to the culture of narcissism.Have you noticed that the world is getting more and more narcissistic?  More “Me-Me-Me” thinking is infecting society — to the detriment to the environment, civility, and those at risk.

We can’t stay on this course.

Is there an alternative?

I believe there is a clear antidote to the narcissistic culture.  And I believe parents play a roll in inoculating their children from the narcissism.

Let’s discuss the family antidote to the culture of narcissism.

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children
Ingredients To Thriving Children

Ingredients To Thriving Children

Raising Thriving Children Series

What are the ingredients for a thriving child?Have you ever made a recipe — but forgot a key ingredient?  Or maybe put in the wrong ingredient?  One time, I left salt out of a cookie recipe.  It was pretty bad.  Another time, I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar.  It was awful.

Ingredients are important.

So, what are the key ingredients to help instill in a child?  To help them thrive?

Let’s face it:  we will be adding ingredients, whether we mean to or not.  That’s just what happens in the parenting process.  The question is whether we are intentional about the ingredients — and if we have the RIGHT ingredients to put in.

Our goal:  A Thriving Person.

The starting point: A child learning to thrive.

Listen to this week’s podcast for the 5 key ingredients to raising a thriving child.

Raising Thriving Children Series
Introduction
Eggs, Balls, And Turtles
The Important Influence On Children

Raising Thriving Children

Raising Thriving Children Series

Raising thriving children. A new series on parenting resilient kids.If you are a parent, you know that hope/fear.  You hope to raise a wonderful human being, and you fear making a mistake on the way.

This week, we begin a series on raising thriving children.

During this series, we will look at the goals of parenting, the limits of parenting, and what a parent can do to help a child learn to thrive.  Thriving is not an innate skill.  It is learned.

But it can also be lost in the shuffle of life.

I believe there are two paradigms of parenting:  children are like eggs or children are like balls.

Since eggs can shatter, they must be protected and insulated.  Balls, on the other hand, bounce.

Which model do you see in your own life?

(By the way, if you missed it, I challenged our common understanding of self-confidence just last week.  You can learn about that by CLICKING HERE.)

Listen below for the two theories of parenting and an introduction to this new series.