The Myth of Life Balance

Jarrod CastilloWe have a sectional couch.  My spot is right in the corner.  I can sit one way, stretch my legs out the other way.  And my dog, Ziggy, settles in right beside me.  Why do I tell you that?  Well, when I am crammed into that corner, you might say I am “balanced.”  No way will I fall over, in any direction.  I’m propped up and held in position.

Other than that, balance is something I work at.  You do, too.  Even if you aren’t aware of it.  We humans stand on two feet.  Quite a balancing accomplishment.  Your legs and feet are constantly readjusting, trying to keep you upright.  You are, in other words, always a bit off-balance.  Walking?  Simply falling forward and catching yourself.  Balance… not so much.

Then, you open up tons of self-help literature that tells you that happiness comes from “balance in life.”  But what if balance is… well… a myth?

The challenge is in trying to find some balance, deciding what to balance, and when to be off-balance.

If you follow me and my podcast much, you know that I have been doing jiu jitsu for nearly 1 1/2 years.  That pretty much makes me an advanced white belt (soon to be blue, though).  And along the way, it became clear that the moves work sometimes because I have established a balanced spot (“base” would be the term), and at times because I am willing to be off-balanced, shifting momentum in my favor.  Same in life.  Sometimes, I need to find my base.  But many times, to get the momentum, I need to be a bit off-balance.

And if you have found yourself thinking, “I need to find balance,” let me (and my guest) go ahead and shoot that down.  It is the myth of balance you need to know and understand.

This week, I interview Jarrod Castillo.  When I first met Jarrod, he was in the middle of a ballroom, doing a handstand.  And he was the only one doing it.  That caught my attention.

Jarrod and I discuss the myth of balance and why that is so important to understand.  Join me for a great interview with Jarrod (Wolf).

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How To Use Your Sub-Conscious Mind

Dot Campbell and Using Your Subconscious Mind.Your subconscious mind is constantly active, constantly scanning your world.  It controls our choices and actions, emotions and feelings.  Scanning for threats, it is relying on old scripts and patterns.

And that is why our subconscious is often running us, not the other way around.  It is running our lives, not working as a tool for a better life.

Dot Campbell is trying to turn that around.  She is out to show the world how to use their subconscious mind as a tool.

While most people believe their conscious mind (the judging, analyzing part of your mind) is in charge of decisions.  But the subconscious mind, always accumulating information and running your emotions, often runs the show.

Join me as Dot and I discuss her 3A’s of using your subconscious mind to build a better life.

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Digging Down To Your True Self

Dr. Avis Attaway talks about finding your True Self.We tend to give up our “True Self” along the way, victim to our Ego — what we show the world. Your True Self didn’t go anywhere. It is tucked deep down inside, “protected.”

Not really protected, though.  The Ego and our defense mechanisms are trying to protect it.  But in the process, it gets buried.  Deeper and deeper over the years.  Unless we do some digging.  Some growing.  Some nurturing.

What buries it?  Traumas.  Bruisings.  Brushes with pain and fear.  Which is why we keep trying to compensate.  To react and keep those “dangers” away… which is really our way of keeping fear away.

According to Dr. Avis Attaway, we have to move through three phases to get back to our True Self:

  1. Self-Awareness
  2. Self-Mastery
  3. Self-Expression

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, Avis and I discuss how to get back to that True Self, our best self.

Listen below.

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Success Leaves A Trail

CoreyPoirierWe can fail in so many ways.  Often, it is just a matter of stumbling through, not looking for a better path.  We forge new paths to failure.  That is often “life on automatic.”

If someone has succeeded, though, they leave a trail.  The more people who succeed that same way just make the trail more clear, the path easier to follow.  Success always leaves a trail.  Everywhere in life.

When I wanted to write a book, I knew I could stumble through… and maybe I would succeed.

Or maybe I would fail.

An easy way to fail?  Never figuring out how to start.  Never writing.  That would certainly keep me from writing a book.  But there were lots of other ways to fail at it.

Or… I could talk to others who had done it.

Success leaves a trail.

Corey Poirier is a professional speaker.  But he has another distinction.  He has interviewed over 5000 high-achievers.  And over time, he noticed some common traits of high-achievers.

I had a chance to interview Corey… while he was getting rushed out of his hotel room!  The life of a speaker!

Anyway, in our interview, Corey shared the 5 top traits of high-achievers.  These traits are not just about business (although they apply there).  They are also about life!

Listen below.

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Re-Writing Reality: Reprogramming the Subconscious

Carl HunterWhat is “reality”?  Is it “out there” or in us?  Or more importantly, is there something about us that creates our experience of reality?  And if so, can we somehow find a way to “re-write” reality in a way that shifts it to more of what we want and less of what we don’t want?

There are plenty of philosophical wonderings in there.  Lots of spiritual traditions have tried to tackle this one.  Are we dreamers or being dreamed?  Do we construct everything we experience?  Is there only what we see and experience?  Do we “cause” everything that happens to us?  Is this just one big hallucination/delusion/matrix?

Big questions that can keep us thinking for a long time.  And yet, the thinking may not mean anything to our daily lives.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I interview Carl Hunter.  At one point in his life, things were not going the way that Carl wanted.  He was adrift, unhappy, and frustrated that he couldn’t make headway.

So, he started searching.  Was there some way to make a shift?  To build a life the way he wanted it to be?

In his search, a friend told him about a course that the friend’s family member was going through.  That course promised to help people build a life they wanted… through the process of “reprogramming the sub-conscious.”

Carl didn’t know if he believed in the process.  But he had nothing to lose by trying.  So, he made himself the guinea pig of the process.  He tried it out.  And according to Carl, within 12 hours, life was going differently.  First in a small way.  But as Carl continued to experiment, life was changing in bigger and more significant ways.

Over time, Carl did more and more research, refining the methodology and techniques.  He calls it “switching from manual to automatic.”  In today’s interview, Carl proposes the “manual” method for you to try.  No need to accept his theories.  Test them for yourself.

Listen in to learn the simple method.  Then, test it out!

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From Rebel To Vigilante (Self-Care)

IlanaKristevaDo you find yourself a bit rebellious?  Maybe you just don’t want to be told what to do.  Or maybe you just want to find your own voice.  I think we all have some rebellious place in there.  That rebellion can serve us or keep us stuck.

Ilana Kristeva tells me she was born rebellious.  Colicky and anemic as a baby, Ilana just pushed back.  She reports lots of parent/teacher conferences, since she didn’t much like directions.  Then, her body rebelled.

As diagnoses started stacking up, Ilana lost more and more control of her body, finally ending up in a wheelchair.  Unhappy and frustrated, Ilana finally hit a wall.  Literally and figuratively.  Coming down the hall in her home, Ilana collided with the wall, finding herself stuck.  And suddenly laughing.

That was the starting point of her healing.  In fact, she decided to take a stand-up comedy class (still in her wheelchair).

Slowly, Ilana began to understand that every cell in her body had the potential to heal, grow, and regenerate.  She decided to honor that. To use her conscious thoughts to speak to her body, even singing to herself.

Along the way, she realized that she had to take her own health into her own hands.  Sure, she could listen to the professionals.  But she had to take responsibility, if she were to find healing.  It was then that she converted her rebellious nature to a focused purpose.  She became a Self-Care Vigilante.

As Ilana and I chat in this Thriveology Podcast, we discuss the elements of being a Self-Care Vigilante.  How others can adopt the same mindset, taking control and responsibiliy for their well-being.  How they can live in gratitude.  Listen in for how to get a copy of Ilana’s books.

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Perfect Imperfection On The Path To Thriving

AngelaStillwellMany times, life just kind of, well, hits us.  We have a major transition. Or we just hit a plateau.  What if you know there is more… you just can’t get there?  That’s when we have to find our “untapped strengths.”

Angela Stillwell is the “Vulnerability Warrior.”  Why?  Because she discovered that struggling with tough times can keep in in “survivial mode.”

Angela came from a dysfunctional family situation, with divorce and affairs, abuse, and the loss of her mother when she was young.  Yes, she “survivied” (as people would tell her), but that was not enough.

She knew there was more;  passion, purpose, perspective, service.  And Angela set out to find it.

As Angela shares with me, there are 3 steps to thriving:

  1. Connection
  2. Perfect imperfection
  3. Resurrection

Sounds like a pretty good formula to me!  Listen to this week’s podcast, as Angela shares her formula, step-by-step.

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Letting Your Future Help Today

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Valerie Lemme, FutureVisioning

What if your “future self” can help your “current self?” And maybe even help you make sense of your “past self!”

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with Valerie Lemme about her journey from painful childhood and struggling adulthood to thriving. Valerie discovered that by accessing her Future Self, she could move beyond the beliefs and stuck points she was experiencing.

But in order to get there, Valerie had to go through mental, physical, and emotional pain. Through mood swings, insomnia, panic, high blood pressure, and horrible back pain, Valerie kept looking for an answer. She trained as a healer and hypnotherapist, but couldn’t find healing for herself.

On the verge of giving up, Valerie tuned into a webinar on FutureVisioning, and her life was changed. After that, Valerie decided to help others with that same process. And today, Valerie “pulls back the curtains” to share the 7 basic principles of the process.

Her principles might be a challenge to what you believe. But if what you are currently believing isn’t quite working, it might be time for a shift. Or at least some thoughts in a new direction.

Tune in as Valerie and I discuss the 7 Principles of FutureVisioning.

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Young(er) At Any Age

Dr. Ron Kaiser, author of Re-juvenaging.

My friend tells me, “Aging ain’t for sissy’s, but I ain’t ready for the alternative!”

It happens to every single one of us who are fortunate enough for it to happen.  We get older.  Moment by moment, day by day, year by year… and hopefully, decade by decade.

Personally, I am planning on being around for a long time.  I’m already in what I refer to as “Bonus Time,” after a health scare over 15 years ago.

One of my things to do is look for “aging mentors.”  These are people who are older than me, at varying levels, who seem to be doing it right.  Not so much in the fact that they are still alive, as in how they live.

Ron Kaiser is one of those guys.  81 years old, still a full time psychologist, still doing yoga and exercising, still engaged in learning… still engaged in living.

Recently, I had the good fortune of interviewing Ron.  He and I met at a conference and I said, “I have to get you on Thriveology.  Your information is important at any age!”  And now, I have.

Be sure and listen in to the interview below.

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Emotional Potty-Training

An Interview with Rachel Kaplan

Rachel Kaplan - Emotional Potty-TrainierHow are you with your emotions?

This isn’t a question on whether you are “in touch with your emotions” or not.  It is how you process the emotions.

Some people have, well, “emotional diahrrea.”  Emotions just dump wherever and whenever.

Others have “emotional constipation.”  They just can’t get them out.  Emotions get stuck, lodged in hurtful and painful ways.

Maybe we all need a little “emotional potty training.”

When Rachel Kaplan was 14 years old, her boyfriend killed himself, leaving Rachel emotionally wounded.  She blamed herself and tried to make sense of such a tragedy at such a young age.  The emotional wound stayed with her for years.

And it led Rachel on a quest of healing.  First, she wanted to find her own healing.  But over the years, she began to use her new knowledge and skills to bring healing to others.  Trained in Western and Eastern healing approaches, Rachel began to see her work as “emotional potty training.”

She helps people who have buried their emotions deep in a “basement of shame,” which means the emotions cannot process through.  Her task is to help people to find their Authentic Self, to heal their core wounds, and discover their worth.

Listen in as Rachel and I discuss Emotional Potty Training.

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