Letting Your Future Help Today

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Valerie Lemme, FutureVisioning

What if your “future self” can help your “current self?” And maybe even help you make sense of your “past self!”

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with Valerie Lemme about her journey from painful childhood and struggling adulthood to thriving. Valerie discovered that by accessing her Future Self, she could move beyond the beliefs and stuck points she was experiencing.

But in order to get there, Valerie had to go through mental, physical, and emotional pain. Through mood swings, insomnia, panic, high blood pressure, and horrible back pain, Valerie kept looking for an answer. She trained as a healer and hypnotherapist, but couldn’t find healing for herself.

On the verge of giving up, Valerie tuned into a webinar on FutureVisioning, and her life was changed. After that, Valerie decided to help others with that same process. And today, Valerie “pulls back the curtains” to share the 7 basic principles of the process.

Her principles might be a challenge to what you believe. But if what you are currently believing isn’t quite working, it might be time for a shift. Or at least some thoughts in a new direction.

Tune in as Valerie and I discuss the 7 Principles of FutureVisioning.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Responsibility
Control
Life Purpose
Future Visioning Worksheets

Emotional Potty-Training

An Interview with Rachel Kaplan

Rachel Kaplan - Emotional Potty-TrainierHow are you with your emotions?

This isn’t a question on whether you are “in touch with your emotions” or not.  It is how you process the emotions.

Some people have, well, “emotional diahrrea.”  Emotions just dump wherever and whenever.

Others have “emotional constipation.”  They just can’t get them out.  Emotions get stuck, lodged in hurtful and painful ways.

Maybe we all need a little “emotional potty training.”

When Rachel Kaplan was 14 years old, her boyfriend killed himself, leaving Rachel emotionally wounded.  She blamed herself and tried to make sense of such a tragedy at such a young age.  The emotional wound stayed with her for years.

And it led Rachel on a quest of healing.  First, she wanted to find her own healing.  But over the years, she began to use her new knowledge and skills to bring healing to others.  Trained in Western and Eastern healing approaches, Rachel began to see her work as “emotional potty training.”

She helps people who have buried their emotions deep in a “basement of shame,” which means the emotions cannot process through.  Her task is to help people to find their Authentic Self, to heal their core wounds, and discover their worth.

Listen in as Rachel and I discuss Emotional Potty Training.

RELATED RESOURCES
Discover Your Core Wound – Rachel’s Quiz
Healing Feeling – Rachel’s Podcast
Resilience
Dealing with Grief

Never Too Late (until it’s too late)

An Interview with Lorraine Hoving

Lorraine Hoving - It's never too late to changeIt’s never too late!  Until it’s too late!

We all have an expiration date!  But up until then… there is time.  But don’t take up too much time not getting there.  The sooner you do, the better your life will be, for as long as it goes on.

Isn’t that a dichotomy?  It’s never too late to make a change.  But don’t put it off!

Here’s the thing.  If there are things you have wanted to do, but haven’t… you can really be hard on yourself.  You can chastise and shame yourself for not having taken action.  All the while, you are putting it off even longer.

OR, you can decide that the moment for change is NOW.  Not “someday.”  Not “maybe tomorrow.”  Today.

On her 60th birthday, with a full day of celebration planned, Lorraine Hoving woke up in a panic.  It occured to her that if she was fortunate enough to live to 90, she was 2/3rds of the way through life.  And that was assuming she was headed for 90!

That very day, Lorraine thought about all the goals, hopes, and dreams she had… and had not yet hit.  At that point, she was overweight and hiding from life.  And on that day, she decided things had to change.

Lorraine says she took “100% responsibility for how” her life went.  She forgave herself.  She forgave others.  And she took control of her life.

Now, she is on a mission to help others build their life… they way THEY want it.  Starting now.  It’s never too late… until it’s too late.

Listen in as Lorraine Hoving and I discuss how she took control of her life and made it a life she loves.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Lorraine’s Website
Taking Responsibility
Starting Now
Forgiving
Book:  The Forgive Process

Living Your Engagement

The Engaged Life Series


How to live an engaged life.  Find wellness, joy, and creativity as a way of fully engaging in life.
Over the last 2 episodes, we have been talking about YOUR Engaged Life. How to build a life of passion, purpose, and presence.

Amplifying that life through gratitude, spirituality, and awe.

Here’s the thing… not to be a downer here… you and I, we are going to die.  Someday.

Likely, you don’t know when that will happen.  I don’t know when I will die.  I just know that it is in my future.

Why does that matter?

That very fact is what makes life valuable, makes TIME valuable.  If you live forever, what you do today doesn’t matter so much.  You could do it tomorrow or next year, or in a hundred years.

But knowing we only have so much time… that changes things.  We have 2 tasks:  to live as fully as we can, in the time we have… and make that time last as long as possible.

At least, that is MY task.  How can I live fully?  And how can I live fully?

If you are thinking that might be YOUR task, listen in to the podcast below.

RELATED RESOURCES
3 P’s Of Engaged Life
Amping Your Engagement
Your Thriving Body Series
Stress To Rest
Book:  The Thrive Principles

Why We Stress

WhyWeStressI bet you hear it as much as I do.  You may even say it.  “I’m so stressed!”  The malady of the modern age.  Stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated.

But what IS stress?

As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about.

These days, I tend to push my body, physically.  I take a good long walk in the morning, usually do a workout after that, then go to jiu jitsu 3 to 5 evenings per week.  My body can, indeed, get stressed.

When we talk about “stress,” in everyday life, we are more talking about psychological stress.  Which is really just a term for something else.  Something we’d rather not claim.

But once we recognize what it really is, we can do something about it.  So, let’s figure out why we stress… and what we can do about it.

Listen below to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES
We ALL Have Fears
Your Thriving Body
Dealing With Anxiety
Dealing With Depression
Thrive Principles Book

Running Loops

RunningLoopsLike a broken record… or an endless audio loop.  Those thoughts that just keep turning in your mind.  Okay, in MY mind.  But I bet it happens to you, too.

Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that I get up to 2 emails.  One is complimentary, thanking me for resources, books, podcasts… things like that.  Then there is another email, critical and harsh, telling me how useless my info was.

I read them both and head off to walk my dog.

Do you think I ponder that kind one?  Or keep looping back to that unkind one?

Yep, you guessed it.  And I bet you guessed it because it happens to you, too.

And that thought… it isn’t just a passing thought.  No.  I find my body tense up, the anger/hurt churning in my gut.

The other day, I was out for my morning walk with my sidekick, Ziggy (our silver lab).  We were about half-way through and I realized my palms were sweaty, tightly gripping the leash (which is a waist leash, so I don’t even need to be holding it!).  My chest is tight, my stomach is tight.  I ask myself, “why am I ready for a fight?”  Nothing had happened.

Nothing.

Except a thought I was having… not just having… looping.  It was about an experience that happened 3 decades ago.  One I don’t typically think about.  But today, it popped in my head and I was stuck in a loop.  Looping on an old thought that was making me feel a certain way in the present.

I dropped back and followed my own little routine when I find myself looping.

You can’t stop the loops from starting.  But you can decide how long you run the loops.

Let’s talk about how to stop those pesky loops.  Podcast below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Thoughts are Thoughts
Anxiety and Thought
Dealing with Depression
Living In The Present
Book:  The Immutable Laws Of Living

Down The Habit Hole

DownTheHabitHoleThe gyms are emptying out.  The running shoes are no longer going out for runs.  Comfort food is replacing health food.

What gives?

February.

Actually, it is just long enough that those resolutions made in January are starting to crumble.

“I’ll start exercising, start eating better, stop ______, stop ________.”  You fill in the blanks.  Resolutions are usually starting something new or stopping something old.  Building new habits or beating old habits.  Or changing new habits for old ones.

Many people get off to a good start.  They join the gym, throw out the junk food, buy some new clothes, a few new books, and… enthusiasm wanes.  Old habits kick back in.

And it is back to square one.

Don’t blame yourself!  Habits are tough.  Tough to make, tough to break.

We go back to the old habits because they are comfortable, easy, and the path of least resistance.  Even if they don’t get us where we want to go!

We just seem to fall right down the Habit Hole!

So, what should we do?

Listen in to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast for more about the Habit Hole.

RELATED RESOURCES
Habits Series
Making An Impact
Changing Limiting Beliefs
Book:  Thrive Principles

Where You Are (is a pretty good place to start)

YouAreHere“Where should I start?”, my client asked.

Lots of times, we want to make changes, we want things to be different.  And sometimes, we want things to be different before we make any changes.

We want a different starting point.

If you’ve ever been at a park or mall, looking at the map to figure out where to go, you might notice that one very important feature, “You Are Here.”  It points to the spot where you are now.

Not where you want to go.  Not where you want to be.

But where you are.

If you are at the mall and see the store you want… on the other side of the mall, you might wish you were standing nearby, near the destination store.  Not all the way across the mall.

But if you are on the other side of the mall, that is where you are.  Navigating to the destination from a closer point — a point where you are NOT — is not likely to be effective.

You start where you are.

And you might just find… it is a pretty good place to start.

Listen to this podcast episode for how to start where you are, and why where you are is a pretty good place to start.

RELATED RESOURCES
Accepting What Is
Limiting Beliefs
Making Changes
Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

How To Handle Tough Days

HowToHandleToughDaysKinda like taxes, tough days are unavoidable.  You may see the tough times coming.  But sometimes, they just roll right over us.  A conversation, a text, a phone call, or an event.  Something hits and the bad time is here.

Some people will say that tough times are a sign that you are “off-course,” not living right, not doing what you “should” be doing.

But guess what?  One cost of living is dealing with tough times.  Illness, accidents, losses, and deaths — they are all a part of life.

You don’t have to like the tough times.  But we do have to get through them.

Which raises the question of how to get through the tough times.

I cover handling tough times in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Growth Mindsets for Tough Times
Lessons Learned as a Chaplain
Building Your Resilience Muscle
Dealing with Roadblocks
Two Targets to Thrive
Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

Act or Accept

ActOrAcceptI always find it helpful to have some “rules” to live by.  Short statements that help keep me pointed in the right direction, ready to handle the challenges of life.

And let’s be honest:  challenges are an unavoidable part of life.  Those who tell you that having struggles, challenges, or illnesses is an indication that you are doing something wrong?  They are wrong and misguided.  Life is going to challenge each of us… right up until we die.  Which every one of us will do.

So the question is how we live our lives.  Today.  Right now.  Regardless of what life is throwing your way.

What we often do, in the face of a challenge:  Worry, Complain, Avoid.  All three keep us stuck, frozen in place and to the challenge ahead of us.

So, I have decided instead, to adopt the rule of “Act or Accept.”  I will either act toward resolution, or I will accept where I am.  And the acceptance?  It need not be permanent.  It is about where I am right now.  It may be waiting for a possible action.

Let’s talk about this rule and how to apply it.  Listen to the podcast episode below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Getting Unstuck
Anxiety Resources
Rules for Living
Thrive Principles Book
Immutable Laws of Living Book