The Power of Expectations

Art Costello and the Power of Expectations.What do you expect from life?  Sometimes, our expectations can get us into trouble.  Maybe you expect things to go badly.  Or maybe you expect something beyond your control.  Either way, your expectations trip you up.

Yet every action you take is based on expectation.  Sure, you want to “live in the present moment.”  But present moments are often moving toward something.  For example, as I sit here, I write this with an expectation that you will read it.  If I expected it would not be read, I would do something else.

Or lets say I go to the fridge to open it.  I didn’t blindly do that.  I was expecting to find something to eat (which may or may not work out… but I have an expectation).

Some people advise us to give up expectations.  No expectation, no disappointment, they say.

But today, my guest disagrees.  He says expectations have power.  We need to tap into our expectations in order to create the life we want.

Art Costello is creator of Expectation Therapy.  He says your life changes when you change your expectation.  It is the seed from which we both perceive the world and grow into our better lives.

Listen in to master the power of your expectations.

RELATED RESOURCES
Art Costello’s Website, Expectation Therapy
Kill That Sacred Cow!
The Power of A Challenge
Big WHY versus Little Why’s

 

Why Thankful?

Why Thankful?  Practicing thankfulness and gratitude this Thanksgiving Day and every other day.In the States, this Thursday is Thanksgiving Day.  What’s the point, right?  Let’s just jump on into Christmas season!  The stores are already bustling and everything seems to be bursting with green and red.

I have nothing against Christmas.  But I do think there is an important pause, a moment.  A time to be thankful.  Not to just say a quick word of thanks, then dive into a gut-busting meal.  But to be thankful.

To practice gratitude.

Why?

Because our brain’s default is on scarcity, not abundance — what we DON’T have, not what we HAVE.  Where we AREN’T, not where we ARE.

It’s a matter of mindshift.  A choice to shift to abundance, gratitude, and thankfulness.  Not just allowing our default setting to take over, looking at the scarcity and the lack.  At what scares us.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss “Why Thankful?”  Why should we even make the shift?

I wish you a very thoughtful, thankful day filled with gratitude, wherever you are!

RELATED RESOURCES
What Thriving People Know About Gratitude and Appreciation
Giving Thanks
How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive
Living Your Engaged Life
Book:  Thrive Principles:  15 Strategies for Building a Thriving Life

Free From Pain

If you are alive, you will feel pain.  For some, it is just a little here and a little there.  For others, pain is chronic and constant.  Maybe just a little or maybe a lot.

Since I tend to be on the active side, I tend to have lots of bumps and bruises.  And at one point in my life, when I was suffering from an illness, I had significant pain.  Which means I am on the lookout for how to find pain relief that does not include a pill to take.

Sharon Smith.  Freedom from pain with EFT.  Healing chronic pain and the underlying emotional issues.After years of dealing with chronic pain, my guest was searching for a way to heal her own pain.  And in the process, she has developed an approach that has helped many others to find pain relief without medication or medical intervention.  Oftentimes, when those interventions have already failed!

Sharon Smith applies an approach that is simple and straightforward.  It integrates physical healing with emotional release, reducing pain and releasing stuck emotions.

Often, when we talk about emotional issues and concerns, we use physical images:  someone being a “pain in the neck,” wanting someone to “get off your back,” and many others.  Why?  Because there is a link between emotional pain and physical pain (and vice versa).

In our discussion, Sharon helps me with a little elbow pain that leads to some insight for me.  And she also has some resources for you to get started with your own pain.

Join us.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Sharon’s Website, aPainPlan.com
Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain
Appreciation and Pain Relief

Break Free From Your Prison

What prison holds you?

We ALL have some prison in our lives.  Maybe there aren’t any real bars and locked doors.  But it still keeps us stuck, trapped and unable to grow.  It might be a way of thinking, a relationship, a job.  It may be just your own view of yourself and your capacities.  But something keeps us stuck.

Is it possible to break free?  To escape the prisons in our lives?

Marian McSpadden on how to break free from your own prison.  According to my guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, is not only possible… it is crucial!

Marian McSpadden discovered that she was trapped in a life… a belief system… that kept her from becoming her truest and best self.

So, she planned her escape!  And she broke free.  In her case, quite literally.  Was it easy?  No.  Was it worthwhile?  Marian says, “Absolutely!”

And so, Marian is out to help others find their freedom from their own prison.  If you are stuck, caught in a belief system, a relationship, a job, or something else, discover your path out, your escape route!

Listen in as Marian McSpadden and I discuss the power of breaking free from your prison.

RELATED RESOURCES
Marian’s Website with Helpful Resources
Getting Un-Stuck
Dealing with Fear
Fear and Courage
KNAC Protocol

Having Tough Conversations

Tough conversations are, well, tough.  You know, those conversations you know you need to have… but avoid having them.  Maybe you aren’t comfortable with the topic.  Or maybe it feels risky to have that conversation.

Here is the problem:  when we avoid tough conversations, we also avoid real engagement.  And we miss the opportunity for deeper connection, more intimacy… and importantly, the opportunity for resolution!David Wood, Playing Life For Real, playforreal.life, how to have tough conversations.

My guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast is a returning guest.  Always about “keeping it real,” David Wood returns to discuss how to have those tough conversations.  David says he is an evangelist for tough conversations, trying to spread the word on how important those convos are!

But more than that, David wants to share a process of how to have those tough conversations on difficult issues. In his 4 step process (plus 1 “pre”-step), David reveals a method of how to have the conversations you’ve been ducking and avoiding.  You just have to follow the steps (and he has a special tool available to help you with it).

Stop avoiding the tough conversations.  Learn how to have them.  Learn to resolve the underlying issues.  And watch your life expand.

RELATED RESOURCES
David’s Website for Free Resource
Earlier Podcast with David
Dealing with Anxiety
Showing Up in Live
Finding MORE in Life

Generating Happiness

Amy Huentelman discusses generating happiness.  How to be happy from the inside, not waiting for something to happen.  Shift from your mind to your True self... and discover happiness.Have you been to the Self-Help area of a bookstore lately?  We are awash with books on happiness.  There are lots of articles on happiness.  And lots of trainings and courses on happiness.  Heck, I have even addressed it many times before.

So, why aren’t we happy?  Why haven’t we made a shift, as a culture, to higher levels of happiness?

Many times, people keep looking “out there” for what will finally make them happy.  Something needs to “happen” to make them “happy.”

Maybe… just maybe… we are looking in the wrong place.  In the wrong direction.  We are looking “out there,” when the potential has been “in here” the whole time.

She calls herself “the Happiness Generator” and in this episode, Amy Huentelman discusses how you can generate happiness… from the inside!  By getting out of your head and into your deeper self.  Your True Self.

And not by waiting for something to shift “out there,” but how to make the shift “from within.”

If you want some help in making that shift, and in learning how to generate happiness, listen in to this episode.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Free 10 Minute Process from Amy (audio)
The Happiness Trap
Chasing Happiness Away
Chasing Mis-Wants
Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

Life After Loss

Living Beyond Grief

Sarah Nannen on life after loss.  Dealing with Grief.Long ago, way back in one of my college classes on death and dying, the professor told us that our death rituals — the funeral, visitation, etc. — were our ways of “reweaving the cloth of our community” after a loss.

Grief has a process.  It is our internal response to loss, that is about how we move through and beyond that loss.

Yet in our culture, we tend to have an impatience with grief and the grieving.  With the best of intentions, we sometimes push people to move through their grief.  And we push ourselves to move through our grief.

We want those grieving to find happiness again.  And as we grieve, we want to stop hurting.

Which often only serves to disrupt grief, prolonging or curtailing the healing that needs to come after a loss.  In our attempts to “speed it along,” we slow it down or cut it off.

My guest on this episode, Sarah Nannen, knows this first-hand.  With 4 young children, Sarah was widowed when her active-duty husband died in a training accident.

In the aftermath, Sarah had to follow her own instincts to find space for her grief… and then she found herself once again among the living.

Since then, Sarah has been helping others do the same.  She wrote a book, Grief Unvealed, and helps others to find empowerment as they process their own grief.

Who is this episode for?  If you are alive… you!  Because every single one of us will be (or have been) confronted by loss.  Every single one of us will (or has) pass through grief.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Sarah Nannen’s Website (and free Peace Meditation)
Moving Through Grief
Order, Disorder, Reorder
Grieve Losses, Celebrate Gains
Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

Holding On (When Life Gets You Down)

How to Hold Up When Life Gets You Down.Life is tough.

Not always.  But along the way.  And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn’t mean there isn’t another one up ahead.  That’s just the nature of life.

It doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson.  It’s just the nature of life.

You may notice 2 crowds.  First is the “Grind Culture” that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work.  They have a point that you have to get through some tough times.  But sometimes, it is wise to step back and ask if the fight is worth it.

Then there is the “Sign Culture.”  That group tells you that any struggle is an indication you are on the wrong path, that something is wrong with you, and that life “should” be easy… if you are doing it right.  They have a point that sometimes, a struggle is pointing to you moving the wrong way… swimming upstream.  But the fact is, life means struggles… at times.

So what do you do to hold up when life gets you down?

We discuss it… and 5 things to do… on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Does Everything Happen for a Reason?
Dealing with Emotional Pain
Facing Fears
Accepting What Is
Book:  Thrive Principles – 15 Strategies for Building YOUR Thriving Life

Choosing MORE

Live life fully.  Choose MORE!We ALL want MORE out of life… right?  But more of what?  More toys?  More stuff?

Or are we craving more of LIFE?  Of living… more?  Living a more full life?

I think that is it.  At least, that is “it” for me.  Experiencing more, connecting more, adding more purpose, living more of “me.”  And I suspect that is true for you, too.  But sometimes, we aren’t sure about how to do it.

Not whether we want to or not.

Just how to do it.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, we cover how to Choose More in your life… and what to Choose More of!

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
You Have to Show UP
Your Impact
Your Thriving Body Series
Thrive Principles Book

Learn or… Learn

Win or lose... or learn and learn.I don’t know about you, but I was raised around competition.  Not so much from my parents, but from culture.  In school, you compete in all sorts of tasks… trying to prove how smart, how good, how talented, how athletic, how whatever you are… compared to the others.

It doesn’t stop there, but keeps on going.  Win or lose.  That’s all that matters.  Well, winning.  That’s what matters.

Remember Ricky Bobby from the movie, Talladega Nights? “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”  In other words, you win… or you have lost.

(Do remember, though, that at another point in the movie, Ricky Bobby is talking with his Dad… and gets challenged:
Ricky Bobby: “Wait, Dad. Don’t you remember the time you told me ‘If you ain’t first, you’re last’?”
Reese Bobby: “Huh? What are you talking about, Son?”
Ricky Bobby: “That day at school.”
Reese Bobby: “Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth.”
Ricky Bobby: “What? I’ve lived my whole life by that!”
There you go… a first… a quote in a Will Ferrell movie to make a point about thriving!)

We grow up on that whole “win or learn” thing… which ties us tightly to our ego.  If we win, ego boost.  If we lose, ego bruise.  What will others think??

Maybe it is worth making a shift.

Nelson Mandela said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” When you don’t win, you can learn! Great shift.  “Losing” is an opportunity for learning.  When you don’t win, there is an opportunity for growth, for learning… for being better.

But it is still bound by ego. What if it isn’t even the win? But the learn? Then, we either learn… or we learn.

Listen to this episode for more on winning/losing versus learning/learning.

RELATED RESOURCES
What I learned in Jiu Jitsu
More I learned in Jiu Jitsu
Even MORE I learned in Jiu Jitsu
Trial-And-Error Mindset
Three Growth Mindsets
Showing UP
Book:  Thrive Principles
Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

… And show some love with a tweet by CLICKING HERE.