Choosing MORE

Live life fully.  Choose MORE!We ALL want MORE out of life… right?  But more of what?  More toys?  More stuff?

Or are we craving more of LIFE?  Of living… more?  Living a more full life?

I think that is it.  At least, that is “it” for me.  Experiencing more, connecting more, adding more purpose, living more of “me.”  And I suspect that is true for you, too.  But sometimes, we aren’t sure about how to do it.

Not whether we want to or not.

Just how to do it.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, we cover how to Choose More in your life… and what to Choose More of!

Listen below.

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Learn or… Learn

Win or lose... or learn and learn.I don’t know about you, but I was raised around competition.  Not so much from my parents, but from culture.  In school, you compete in all sorts of tasks… trying to prove how smart, how good, how talented, how athletic, how whatever you are… compared to the others.

It doesn’t stop there, but keeps on going.  Win or lose.  That’s all that matters.  Well, winning.  That’s what matters.

Remember Ricky Bobby from the movie, Talladega Nights? “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”  In other words, you win… or you have lost.

(Do remember, though, that at another point in the movie, Ricky Bobby is talking with his Dad… and gets challenged:
Ricky Bobby: “Wait, Dad. Don’t you remember the time you told me ‘If you ain’t first, you’re last’?”
Reese Bobby: “Huh? What are you talking about, Son?”
Ricky Bobby: “That day at school.”
Reese Bobby: “Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth.”
Ricky Bobby: “What? I’ve lived my whole life by that!”
There you go… a first… a quote in a Will Ferrell movie to make a point about thriving!)

We grow up on that whole “win or learn” thing… which ties us tightly to our ego.  If we win, ego boost.  If we lose, ego bruise.  What will others think??

Maybe it is worth making a shift.

Nelson Mandela said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” When you don’t win, you can learn! Great shift.  “Losing” is an opportunity for learning.  When you don’t win, there is an opportunity for growth, for learning… for being better.

But it is still bound by ego. What if it isn’t even the win? But the learn? Then, we either learn… or we learn.

Listen to this episode for more on winning/losing versus learning/learning.

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How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 2

How to NOT thrive... and what to do instead.Well, you are on to me!  Last week, I started talking about things you can do to guarantee that you DON’T thrive.  I’m sure you knew I didn’t really want you to NOT thrive.  But I wanted to point out some ways people make themselves miserable… and what they might do to shift.

If you missed that episode, JUST CLICK HERE TO HEAR IT.

It is interesting to notice how we humans can really mess up our lives!  Life throws us enough to deal with.  Then, we tend to multiply it with our own blind spots and stuck points.

With my Top 10 List To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive, I wanted to point out 10 ways that people really do keep themselves stuck.  And the fact is, I see these same patterns repeated over and over by many people.

So, if you see yourself in one (or more) of the stuck points, that just means you are… well… human.  Congratulations on being able to spot it!  That is the first step in doing something different… something new… something more… THRIVING!

Listen in below for the REST of the ways you can keep from thriving… so you can thrive!  (Unless you don’t want to… then just follow my suggestions.)

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How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 1

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

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Look Up!

Look up!World got you down?  Maybe even looking down?  It can feel overwhelming, like you just need to keep plodding ahead, keeping your head down.

But often, that is just the time we need to look up.

To the sky.

Physically and metaphorically.

When I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and flustered, when it seems there is just too much going on, too much to get done… I take a step back and look up.

And then I have a little more perspective.  Little ol’ me in this big ol’ universe.  In a world with lots more troubles than I have.  Not that mine aren’t important.  They just aren’t as grand as I can make them feel.

And metaphorically, I look up.  To a higher perspective.  My higher Self.  I remember that it really isn’t all about me, but how I bring myself into the world.

It also reminds me to be grateful.  To be grateful for being in this moment, in this space.  Who I am, with what I have, where I am.  And to see that as “enough.”  It is too easy to let the “not enough’s” call out to me, call me down, scare me.

But then, I look up.  To pivot me out of my little thoughts and into bigger thoughts.  From a higher perspective. From a place of connection.  From awe.

Look up.

I discuss this more in this week’s Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

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Order, Disorder, Reorder

The cycle of life:  order, disorder, reorderThere are days when you just wish that something would change.  The same ol’ same ol’ just seems to roll along.  And then there are the days you wished that things wouldn’t change.  What happened?  How did things turn upside down?

One simple word to explain both situations:  Life.

If you don’t find that comforting, let’s call it the cycle of life.  Because cycles keep on rolling.  If you can’t wait for a change, no worries.  Things will change.  If things seem so be changing on all sides, guess what?  Change will stop.  Things will re-configure.

In life, we are always moving through a cycle:  Order, Disorder, Reorder.  The first can get a little old and stale.  But at least it is predictable and… maybe even feels safe.  Then comes the call, the letter, the diagnosis, the pink slip, or maybe just the next step.  A child goes off to college, you finish college, a friend moves away, you move away.  Something shifts and throws you into disorder.

It is a tough spot.  Painful and grief-ful.  But life does not stop there.  We move through it, find a new way to keep on moving.  And life re-orders.  It is a new order.  But it is the re-order.

And at some point, the reorder becomes the order.  And the cycle repeats.  From the day we are born until the day we die.

The question is how we move through the cycle… not IF, but HOW.

Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast for moving through the Order/Disorder/Reorder Cycle.

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Curing Insomnia

Ruth Stern - Healing InsomniaOver 40 million people.  Every year.  That is the number who suffer from insomnia, in the United States alone.  It’s just a little “missed sleep,” right?  Maybe a little cranky in the morning, but nothing that a cup of coffee can’t fix. Right?

Wrong.

First, insomnia is incredibly frustrating.  When you want to sleep, but can’t, it is frustrating.  Especially if everyone else is peacefully slumbering everywhere else in your house!

Second, a lack of sleep is detrimental to our mental and physical well-being.  Each year, more studies show how important sleep is.  It is implicated in anxiety and depression.  It is tied to higher rates of accidents.  It contributes to high blood pressure, diabetes, dementia, weight gain, and many other chronic issues.

Let alone that crankiness that can make the day so hard!

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss curing insomnia with Ruth Stern.  After suffering from insomnia for 19 years, Ruth set out to find a solution.  A trained therapist, Ruth turned to an energy psychology technique to help herself to heal from insomnia.  An overnight cure?  Nope.  But it worked.  And has worked for many others.

Listen in as Ruth Stern and I discuss curing insomnia.

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Playing Life For Real

David Wood, Playing Life For Real, playforreal.lifeHow’s your life going? The way you want?  Or not quite?  Do you want to “level up” and play a bigger game?  Have a bigger life?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with David Wood, successful-entrepreneur-turned-life-coach.  Nope, not a business coach (although he does some of that), but a life coach.  Helping successful people “level up” to more success.

While David had been successful in his work, something was missing — connection.  Tied to an early childhood trauma (we talk about it), David decided to “play it safe” with relationships… and then realized that “playing it safe” kept him disconnected and distant.

How?

Playing bigger.  Taking risks.  Daring.  And Caring.

David starts with a question, “What if we are living in a maze, running it every day?  We can keep doing that, or we can step back and decide to play it bigger.”

Using his 3 Pillars and 4 Point Plan, David points the way to anyone wanting to play on a bigger field.  To play “full out” in the game of life — which David notes is a very important game!

Listen below.

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The Myth of Life Balance

Jarrod CastilloWe have a sectional couch.  My spot is right in the corner.  I can sit one way, stretch my legs out the other way.  And my dog, Ziggy, settles in right beside me.  Why do I tell you that?  Well, when I am crammed into that corner, you might say I am “balanced.”  No way will I fall over, in any direction.  I’m propped up and held in position.

Other than that, balance is something I work at.  You do, too.  Even if you aren’t aware of it.  We humans stand on two feet.  Quite a balancing accomplishment.  Your legs and feet are constantly readjusting, trying to keep you upright.  You are, in other words, always a bit off-balance.  Walking?  Simply falling forward and catching yourself.  Balance… not so much.

Then, you open up tons of self-help literature that tells you that happiness comes from “balance in life.”  But what if balance is… well… a myth?

The challenge is in trying to find some balance, deciding what to balance, and when to be off-balance.

If you follow me and my podcast much, you know that I have been doing jiu jitsu for nearly 1 1/2 years.  That pretty much makes me an advanced white belt (soon to be blue, though).  And along the way, it became clear that the moves work sometimes because I have established a balanced spot (“base” would be the term), and at times because I am willing to be off-balanced, shifting momentum in my favor.  Same in life.  Sometimes, I need to find my base.  But many times, to get the momentum, I need to be a bit off-balance.

And if you have found yourself thinking, “I need to find balance,” let me (and my guest) go ahead and shoot that down.  It is the myth of balance you need to know and understand.

This week, I interview Jarrod Castillo.  When I first met Jarrod, he was in the middle of a ballroom, doing a handstand.  And he was the only one doing it.  That caught my attention.

Jarrod and I discuss the myth of balance and why that is so important to understand.  Join me for a great interview with Jarrod (Wolf).

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Listen to the Wisdom of Your Body

GregLeeAndAntoniaVanBeckerSometimes, we spend so much time trying to think through a problem that we just get stuck.  Our minds tend to spiral on the same thoughts over and over… not really giving any new information or help.

“What should I do?” is usually followed by an almost endless loop of “What should I do?”  Or worse yet, we take action, but then realize that our thinking was more limited than we thought.

There HAS to be a better way, right?

According to Greg Lee and Antonia Van Becker, there is!  We just have to shift from listening to our thoughts.  It is not shifting to listen to someone else… not a friend, spouse, relative, or even a therapist or coach (OK, you may want to consult with someone else, but that is not the only place).

So, where do you turn?  As it turns out, not too far from your mind.  Just a bit, ummm, down.

To your body.

Let me freely admit that for lots of years, I chose to NOT listen to my body.  I lived from the neck, up.  It would seem that one day, my body decided to get my attention.  And let’s just say that the resulting mess was painful and scary.  But my body got my attention!

Even if I didn’t know how to listen at that moment, I knew I needed to pay attention to it.

Greg and Antonia take it much further.  They suggest you can even ask your body for guidance… and your body will, well, guide you.

In this episode of the podcast, Antonia and Greg share what it means to “listen to your body.”  And they share 6 steps to follow when you hit a tipping point in your day (or your life).

Listen below!

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