Is the Present Perfect?

Is the present perfect?  Yes.  Find out how in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.My client was telling me about lots of struggles, difficult times, and a few positive moments.  I noted, as I have many times with many clients, “It sounds like your present is perfect.”

She went silent.  I was silent.  But I could see her processing and struggling with my words.  I sat quietly.

She finally erupted: “Perfect?!? How can you say that?  After all the stuff I told you… how can you tell me that things are perfect?”

I told her, “I didn’t say great.  I didn’t say it was how you wanted them to be.  Only that the present is perfect.”

In that moment, I could see her gears turning… but she still couldn’t make sense of what I was saying.

How can things feel upside-down and inside-out, and be perfect?

“Perfect” does not mean preferred.  It means something is complete.  A perfectly cooked steak is complete. It is cooked to a certain level.  But also consider a “perfect storm,” the perfect combination of  circumstances that mean the storm is more powerful than when those circumstances don’t combine.

The idea of the Present Perfect, which sounds like grammar, comes from life coach, Thomas Leonard.  He noted that the Present Perfect is the fact that this moment perfectly reflects everthing that has come before, up until now.

Why does that matter?  We explore it in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below

RELATED RESOURCES
Medium Article on the Present Perfect
Importance of Acceptance
What Can You Control?
Accept or Act
My Books

3 Moves for a Better Day

3 Moves For A Better Day:  how to add 3 things to your day to continually improve your life… kaizen for living.Sometimes, it seems that any change in life has to be a 180° turn… starting or stopping something you were not doing or doing.  And sometimes, that is important.  You might stop smoking, start exercising, or make some other major shift in life.

But in reality, more of growth in life is really about continued improvement.  This matches the Japanese idea of kaizen, or “change for the better.”  This is the concept behind many manufactoring processes — small incremental changes that amount to bigger cumulative improvement.

That can apply to your life!  It probably already does, but can you make it more intentional?  For example, let’s say I start exercising.  I go for a 20 minute run/walk.  That might be a 180° change — I started doing something I wasn’t doing.  But then what?  I would likely not just stay with that.  I might add more time, more distance, or maybe run for a higher percentage.  Gradual improvements that add up to more change.

Which leads to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  I cover 3 moves you can make for a better day. Two of the moves involve one tool I have used with my coaching clients for years.  It is a powerful process that has led to some pretty amazing transformations.

The other is just one to add in… or constantly improve… depending upon whether it is already a part of your life or not.

If you are ready to build a better day, these 3 moves can be the key.  And guess what?  It will only shift 30 minutes of your day.  All for a huge shift in life!

You can listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Personal Kaizen
Being Growth Oriented
Morning Shift for a Better Day
Evening Shift for a Better Day
Grab the Thrive Journal – NOW AVAILABLE!

Challenge Makes Us Grow

Steve Sims and how challenge helps us to grow.When I was a kid, I hit this point when I was growing fast.  So fast that my limbs hurt, I constantly tripped, and knocked everthing over as my hand got there before I expected.  Growth was a challenge.

Generally, though, it works the other way.  When we are challenged (and take it on), we grow.  A child wants to crawl, then walk, then run.  But wanting to is not the same as being able to.  Crawling ends up being a bellyflop.  Walking leads to teetering bottom-bumps.  And running… well, that just leads to face-plants.  But so far, I have never seen a child give up and say, “Well, I just can’t do that.  I guess I’m not meant to crawl/walk/run.”  The child just tries again.

Challenge is something we can rise to, expand into.  And when we do, challenge is the impetus for growth.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I talk with Steve Sims.  At the age of 15, Steve finished his schooling in England, and stepped right into what seemed to be his destiny:  masonry.  Just like his father, his grandfather, his uncles, and his cousins.  In an instant of inspiration, Steve looked at his family and realized this was not his destiny.  As he told me, it was not that he was better than his family, but that he thought there was something better for him.

That set him on a search for his own destiny, a way to see the world and meet people with different viewpoints and lifestyles.  This twisted path has led to now.  Through taking on challenges and growing through them.

Listen in as Steve and I discuss his life, his challenges, and the success of taking on those challenges.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Steve’s Website for More Information
The Power of a Challenge
Learn or… Learn
Act or Accept

The Fear/Anxiety Contagion

Coping with COVID Series

How to avoid being infected by the emotional contagion of fear and anxiety, especially during the coronavirus pandemic.  Special coronavirus podcast episode.It’s highly contagious.  You can catch it from a single interaction with one person.  You can catch it much faster in a crowd.  You can pass it on to someone else in an instant.

You can also catch it from just reading, watching, or listening to something.

In 39 milliseconds, you have it… and you didn’t even see it coming!

Coronavirus?  Nope.  That is certainly serious, and you absolutely want to do everything you can to avoid catching or spreading it.  I do not want to minimize the risks of this pandemic.

But that is not the contagion I am focusing on here.

This contagion is fear and anxiety.  Yes, you can catch fear.  Yes, you can catch anxiety.  And you can also spread them.

Humans have a natural wiring (we share it with the animals at the watering hole… and all the others) to pick up on fear and anxiety.

Many times, people have said, “Should I panic over this?”  The “this” has been lots of different things.  And my answer is always, “Panic is never a better option.  Should you respond?  Should you choose an action? Yes.  Panic?  No.”

That is easier said than done. But on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I share why fear/anxiety is contagious, along with how to limit the infection.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Dealing with Fear
Attacking Anxiety
Self-Care
Order, Disorder, Reorder

Lee’s Thrive Books

Stepping Strongly Into the New Year

How To Start The New Year Strong.January 1.  Just another day.

And yet… there is something else about that day.  Sure, it starts a new month.  Yes, it starts a new year.

Psychologically, that new start… it matters.

We all need new starts.  That is what I loved about being in school.  When the semester ended, no matter how well (or poorly) I had done, it was over.  The grade was locked in.  Sure, I could consider what I could have done differently, but I couldn’t undo anything.

I moved on to the next class.  A fresh start.  New assignments, new opportunities, new possibilities.

Many of us get caught in the past, trying to figure out how to undo or redo what has already happened.

For this moment, though, as the new year starts, let’s look forward.  Let’s look to the new year and decide how we want to move forward.  How we want the next year to be MORE of what we want… new opportunities and possibilities.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss some ways to start the new year strong.  Listen in to find out.

RELATED RESOURCES
Resolution in a Word
Fresh Starts
Letting Go
Book:  Thrive Principles

Why Thankful?

Why Thankful?  Practicing thankfulness and gratitude this Thanksgiving Day and every other day.In the States, this Thursday is Thanksgiving Day.  What’s the point, right?  Let’s just jump on into Christmas season!  The stores are already bustling and everything seems to be bursting with green and red.

I have nothing against Christmas.  But I do think there is an important pause, a moment.  A time to be thankful.  Not to just say a quick word of thanks, then dive into a gut-busting meal.  But to be thankful.

To practice gratitude.

Why?

Because our brain’s default is on scarcity, not abundance — what we DON’T have, not what we HAVE.  Where we AREN’T, not where we ARE.

It’s a matter of mindshift.  A choice to shift to abundance, gratitude, and thankfulness.  Not just allowing our default setting to take over, looking at the scarcity and the lack.  At what scares us.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss “Why Thankful?”  Why should we even make the shift?

I wish you a very thoughtful, thankful day filled with gratitude, wherever you are!

RELATED RESOURCES
What Thriving People Know About Gratitude and Appreciation
Giving Thanks
How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive
Living Your Engaged Life
Book:  Thrive Principles:  15 Strategies for Building a Thriving Life

Look Up!

Look up!World got you down?  Maybe even looking down?  It can feel overwhelming, like you just need to keep plodding ahead, keeping your head down.

But often, that is just the time we need to look up.

To the sky.

Physically and metaphorically.

When I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and flustered, when it seems there is just too much going on, too much to get done… I take a step back and look up.

And then I have a little more perspective.  Little ol’ me in this big ol’ universe.  In a world with lots more troubles than I have.  Not that mine aren’t important.  They just aren’t as grand as I can make them feel.

And metaphorically, I look up.  To a higher perspective.  My higher Self.  I remember that it really isn’t all about me, but how I bring myself into the world.

It also reminds me to be grateful.  To be grateful for being in this moment, in this space.  Who I am, with what I have, where I am.  And to see that as “enough.”  It is too easy to let the “not enough’s” call out to me, call me down, scare me.

But then, I look up.  To pivot me out of my little thoughts and into bigger thoughts.  From a higher perspective. From a place of connection.  From awe.

Look up.

I discuss this more in this week’s Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Meaning/Purpose Triad
Finding Your Meaning
Finding Perspective
Dealing With Stress
Everyday Spirituality
Book:  Thrive Principles

 

Young(er) At Any Age

Dr. Ron Kaiser, author of Re-juvenaging.

My friend tells me, “Aging ain’t for sissy’s, but I ain’t ready for the alternative!”

It happens to every single one of us who are fortunate enough for it to happen.  We get older.  Moment by moment, day by day, year by year… and hopefully, decade by decade.

Personally, I am planning on being around for a long time.  I’m already in what I refer to as “Bonus Time,” after a health scare over 15 years ago.

One of my things to do is look for “aging mentors.”  These are people who are older than me, at varying levels, who seem to be doing it right.  Not so much in the fact that they are still alive, as in how they live.

Ron Kaiser is one of those guys.  81 years old, still a full time psychologist, still doing yoga and exercising, still engaged in learning… still engaged in living.

Recently, I had the good fortune of interviewing Ron.  He and I met at a conference and I said, “I have to get you on Thriveology.  Your information is important at any age!”  And now, I have.

Be sure and listen in to the interview below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
The Mental Health Gym
Dealing with Grief
Showing Up
Your Thriving Body

Taking The Leap To Transformation

An Interview with Marie-Elizabeth Mali

Marie-Elizabeth Mali, Midlife Transformation SpecialistWhat happens when you do all the right things:  get the degrees, marry the “right person,” and think you are living your dream… only to discover it is someone else’s dream?

You may just push on.  You may just run away.  Or you may stop and realize that YOU are the one who needs to change… to transform.

Many times, that happens at midlife.  Call it a “crisis.”  Or call it an “opportunity for transformation.”

Marie-Elizabeth Mali decided it was time for transformation.  Having taken on what Marie-Elizabeth refers to as an “inherited identity” (the one others want for you), she realized that she was not living her authentic self.

So, she made a LEAP (which is also the acronym of her approach) to transformation.

Listen in as Marie-Elizabeth and I discuss her LEAP approach to making transformations.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Grab Marie-Elizabeth’s Resource
Learn To Show Up
Taking On Responsibility
Book:  Immutable Laws of Living

 

Living Your Engagement

The Engaged Life Series


How to live an engaged life.  Find wellness, joy, and creativity as a way of fully engaging in life.
Over the last 2 episodes, we have been talking about YOUR Engaged Life. How to build a life of passion, purpose, and presence.

Amplifying that life through gratitude, spirituality, and awe.

Here’s the thing… not to be a downer here… you and I, we are going to die.  Someday.

Likely, you don’t know when that will happen.  I don’t know when I will die.  I just know that it is in my future.

Why does that matter?

That very fact is what makes life valuable, makes TIME valuable.  If you live forever, what you do today doesn’t matter so much.  You could do it tomorrow or next year, or in a hundred years.

But knowing we only have so much time… that changes things.  We have 2 tasks:  to live as fully as we can, in the time we have… and make that time last as long as possible.

At least, that is MY task.  How can I live fully?  And how can I live fully?

If you are thinking that might be YOUR task, listen in to the podcast below.

RELATED RESOURCES
3 P’s Of Engaged Life
Amping Your Engagement
Your Thriving Body Series
Stress To Rest
Book:  The Thrive Principles