The Myth of Life Balance

Jarrod CastilloWe have a sectional couch.  My spot is right in the corner.  I can sit one way, stretch my legs out the other way.  And my dog, Ziggy, settles in right beside me.  Why do I tell you that?  Well, when I am crammed into that corner, you might say I am “balanced.”  No way will I fall over, in any direction.  I’m propped up and held in position.

Other than that, balance is something I work at.  You do, too.  Even if you aren’t aware of it.  We humans stand on two feet.  Quite a balancing accomplishment.  Your legs and feet are constantly readjusting, trying to keep you upright.  You are, in other words, always a bit off-balance.  Walking?  Simply falling forward and catching yourself.  Balance… not so much.

Then, you open up tons of self-help literature that tells you that happiness comes from “balance in life.”  But what if balance is… well… a myth?

The challenge is in trying to find some balance, deciding what to balance, and when to be off-balance.

If you follow me and my podcast much, you know that I have been doing jiu jitsu for nearly 1 1/2 years.  That pretty much makes me an advanced white belt (soon to be blue, though).  And along the way, it became clear that the moves work sometimes because I have established a balanced spot (“base” would be the term), and at times because I am willing to be off-balanced, shifting momentum in my favor.  Same in life.  Sometimes, I need to find my base.  But many times, to get the momentum, I need to be a bit off-balance.

And if you have found yourself thinking, “I need to find balance,” let me (and my guest) go ahead and shoot that down.  It is the myth of balance you need to know and understand.

This week, I interview Jarrod Castillo.  When I first met Jarrod, he was in the middle of a ballroom, doing a handstand.  And he was the only one doing it.  That caught my attention.

Jarrod and I discuss the myth of balance and why that is so important to understand.  Join me for a great interview with Jarrod (Wolf).

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How To Use Your Sub-Conscious Mind

Dot Campbell and Using Your Subconscious Mind.Your subconscious mind is constantly active, constantly scanning your world.  It controls our choices and actions, emotions and feelings.  Scanning for threats, it is relying on old scripts and patterns.

And that is why our subconscious is often running us, not the other way around.  It is running our lives, not working as a tool for a better life.

Dot Campbell is trying to turn that around.  She is out to show the world how to use their subconscious mind as a tool.

While most people believe their conscious mind (the judging, analyzing part of your mind) is in charge of decisions.  But the subconscious mind, always accumulating information and running your emotions, often runs the show.

Join me as Dot and I discuss her 3A’s of using your subconscious mind to build a better life.

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Digging Down To Your True Self

Dr. Avis Attaway talks about finding your True Self.We tend to give up our “True Self” along the way, victim to our Ego — what we show the world. Your True Self didn’t go anywhere. It is tucked deep down inside, “protected.”

Not really protected, though.  The Ego and our defense mechanisms are trying to protect it.  But in the process, it gets buried.  Deeper and deeper over the years.  Unless we do some digging.  Some growing.  Some nurturing.

What buries it?  Traumas.  Bruisings.  Brushes with pain and fear.  Which is why we keep trying to compensate.  To react and keep those “dangers” away… which is really our way of keeping fear away.

According to Dr. Avis Attaway, we have to move through three phases to get back to our True Self:

  1. Self-Awareness
  2. Self-Mastery
  3. Self-Expression

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, Avis and I discuss how to get back to that True Self, our best self.

Listen below.

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Healing Metabolism and Restoring Health

Tracee Gluhaich, The High Energy Girl, on Keto, metabolism, and chronic cardio.  Healing your metabolism.Did you know that repetitive dieting and relentless exercise can actually break your metabolism?  Your body has an amazing capacity of adjusting to circumstances around you.  If you simply drop your caloric intake, your body will assume there is a famine… and will reduce your metabolism.

If you take part in “chronic cardio,” endless cardio exercise (running, biking, climbing machines, treadmills, etc.), even if the heart monitor tells you that your pace is in “fat burning zone,” your body will quickly adjust… and you will suffer diminishing returns.

Unless you “hack” your approach, dialing back to an older energy method of your body.  That is the heart of the ketogenic approach.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, the “High Energy Girl,” Tracee Gluhaich, joins me for a discussion of her own story through diets, and how she coaches people toward healing their metabolism… and healing their relationship with food.

Tracee was raised on body-shaming beliefs that put her on a course (crash-course) through a multitude of diet and exercise approaches.  Until it all fell apart.

From there, Tracee had to rebuild, relearn, and heal.  Now, she helps people to heal their metabolism.  And she helps women to heal their relationship with food… many people trying to fill their void with food.

Join me as Tracee and I explore food, emotions, metabolism, and healing.

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Even MORE Lessons From Jiu Jitsu

Even MORE lessons I have learned from my study of jiu jitsu.I’ve rolled and been rolled, tapped and been tapped.  My journey into jiu jitsu continues!

Since my last post on lessons I have learned in jiu jitsu (LIFE lessons — not just jiu jitsu moves and techniques), I’ve continued on my journey.  The first time I posted, I was just a few months into my study.  When I completed my Combatives belt (a Gracie standard), I added a second post.

This past month, I hit another achievement, having been awarded my Blue belt.  So, it is time for a bit more reflection and thought.

After 16 months of fairly intense study, I realize that the deeper I dig, the more there is to learn.  Kind of like life.  Something seems so simple… until you start in.  Then, things become far more complex.

Mastery is the point when the complex becomes simple again.  And I am far from that.

Join me as I explore 5 more lessons I’ve learned (and relearned) from my time studying jiu jitsu.

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Listen to the Wisdom of Your Body

GregLeeAndAntoniaVanBeckerSometimes, we spend so much time trying to think through a problem that we just get stuck.  Our minds tend to spiral on the same thoughts over and over… not really giving any new information or help.

“What should I do?” is usually followed by an almost endless loop of “What should I do?”  Or worse yet, we take action, but then realize that our thinking was more limited than we thought.

There HAS to be a better way, right?

According to Greg Lee and Antonia Van Becker, there is!  We just have to shift from listening to our thoughts.  It is not shifting to listen to someone else… not a friend, spouse, relative, or even a therapist or coach (OK, you may want to consult with someone else, but that is not the only place).

So, where do you turn?  As it turns out, not too far from your mind.  Just a bit, ummm, down.

To your body.

Let me freely admit that for lots of years, I chose to NOT listen to my body.  I lived from the neck, up.  It would seem that one day, my body decided to get my attention.  And let’s just say that the resulting mess was painful and scary.  But my body got my attention!

Even if I didn’t know how to listen at that moment, I knew I needed to pay attention to it.

Greg and Antonia take it much further.  They suggest you can even ask your body for guidance… and your body will, well, guide you.

In this episode of the podcast, Antonia and Greg share what it means to “listen to your body.”  And they share 6 steps to follow when you hit a tipping point in your day (or your life).

Listen below!

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Success Leaves A Trail

CoreyPoirierWe can fail in so many ways.  Often, it is just a matter of stumbling through, not looking for a better path.  We forge new paths to failure.  That is often “life on automatic.”

If someone has succeeded, though, they leave a trail.  The more people who succeed that same way just make the trail more clear, the path easier to follow.  Success always leaves a trail.  Everywhere in life.

When I wanted to write a book, I knew I could stumble through… and maybe I would succeed.

Or maybe I would fail.

An easy way to fail?  Never figuring out how to start.  Never writing.  That would certainly keep me from writing a book.  But there were lots of other ways to fail at it.

Or… I could talk to others who had done it.

Success leaves a trail.

Corey Poirier is a professional speaker.  But he has another distinction.  He has interviewed over 5000 high-achievers.  And over time, he noticed some common traits of high-achievers.

I had a chance to interview Corey… while he was getting rushed out of his hotel room!  The life of a speaker!

Anyway, in our interview, Corey shared the 5 top traits of high-achievers.  These traits are not just about business (although they apply there).  They are also about life!

Listen below.

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Re-Writing Reality: Reprogramming the Subconscious

Carl HunterWhat is “reality”?  Is it “out there” or in us?  Or more importantly, is there something about us that creates our experience of reality?  And if so, can we somehow find a way to “re-write” reality in a way that shifts it to more of what we want and less of what we don’t want?

There are plenty of philosophical wonderings in there.  Lots of spiritual traditions have tried to tackle this one.  Are we dreamers or being dreamed?  Do we construct everything we experience?  Is there only what we see and experience?  Do we “cause” everything that happens to us?  Is this just one big hallucination/delusion/matrix?

Big questions that can keep us thinking for a long time.  And yet, the thinking may not mean anything to our daily lives.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I interview Carl Hunter.  At one point in his life, things were not going the way that Carl wanted.  He was adrift, unhappy, and frustrated that he couldn’t make headway.

So, he started searching.  Was there some way to make a shift?  To build a life the way he wanted it to be?

In his search, a friend told him about a course that the friend’s family member was going through.  That course promised to help people build a life they wanted… through the process of “reprogramming the sub-conscious.”

Carl didn’t know if he believed in the process.  But he had nothing to lose by trying.  So, he made himself the guinea pig of the process.  He tried it out.  And according to Carl, within 12 hours, life was going differently.  First in a small way.  But as Carl continued to experiment, life was changing in bigger and more significant ways.

Over time, Carl did more and more research, refining the methodology and techniques.  He calls it “switching from manual to automatic.”  In today’s interview, Carl proposes the “manual” method for you to try.  No need to accept his theories.  Test them for yourself.

Listen in to learn the simple method.  Then, test it out!

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From Rebel To Vigilante (Self-Care)

IlanaKristevaDo you find yourself a bit rebellious?  Maybe you just don’t want to be told what to do.  Or maybe you just want to find your own voice.  I think we all have some rebellious place in there.  That rebellion can serve us or keep us stuck.

Ilana Kristeva tells me she was born rebellious.  Colicky and anemic as a baby, Ilana just pushed back.  She reports lots of parent/teacher conferences, since she didn’t much like directions.  Then, her body rebelled.

As diagnoses started stacking up, Ilana lost more and more control of her body, finally ending up in a wheelchair.  Unhappy and frustrated, Ilana finally hit a wall.  Literally and figuratively.  Coming down the hall in her home, Ilana collided with the wall, finding herself stuck.  And suddenly laughing.

That was the starting point of her healing.  In fact, she decided to take a stand-up comedy class (still in her wheelchair).

Slowly, Ilana began to understand that every cell in her body had the potential to heal, grow, and regenerate.  She decided to honor that. To use her conscious thoughts to speak to her body, even singing to herself.

Along the way, she realized that she had to take her own health into her own hands.  Sure, she could listen to the professionals.  But she had to take responsibility, if she were to find healing.  It was then that she converted her rebellious nature to a focused purpose.  She became a Self-Care Vigilante.

As Ilana and I chat in this Thriveology Podcast, we discuss the elements of being a Self-Care Vigilante.  How others can adopt the same mindset, taking control and responsibiliy for their well-being.  How they can live in gratitude.  Listen in for how to get a copy of Ilana’s books.

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Perfect Imperfection On The Path To Thriving

AngelaStillwellMany times, life just kind of, well, hits us.  We have a major transition. Or we just hit a plateau.  What if you know there is more… you just can’t get there?  That’s when we have to find our “untapped strengths.”

Angela Stillwell is the “Vulnerability Warrior.”  Why?  Because she discovered that struggling with tough times can keep in in “survivial mode.”

Angela came from a dysfunctional family situation, with divorce and affairs, abuse, and the loss of her mother when she was young.  Yes, she “survivied” (as people would tell her), but that was not enough.

She knew there was more;  passion, purpose, perspective, service.  And Angela set out to find it.

As Angela shares with me, there are 3 steps to thriving:

  1. Connection
  2. Perfect imperfection
  3. Resurrection

Sounds like a pretty good formula to me!  Listen to this week’s podcast, as Angela shares her formula, step-by-step.

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