How To Start Fresh (in the New Year)

A fresh start to your new year.If you haven’t heard it yet, let me be the first to say, “Happy New Year!”  I doubt I made the cut, but just in case….

One of my favorite things about school, way back when, was that the semester ended.  Each semester stood by itself.  No matter how poorly the semester had gone (and there were several), it was over.  Classes ended, assignments were in, tests were over.  Nothing I could do would change it. So, I might as well turn my attention to the next semester.

It was nice to have a fresh start.

Which, by the way, is available to any of us at any time.  We can always choose a fresh start.

It won’t wipe the past away.  But we do have the option of starting where we are and moving forward.

In the moment, we have that option.

Each day, we have that option.  We get up to a new day, and can start fresh.

Every month, we can do the same, closing out the month and moving into something new.

But the new year… that is when we really feel it!

So, how do we make the New Year a Fresh Start? Let’s talk about how to do it in this episode of my podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Resolutions
Forgiving
Apologizing
Letting It Go
Thrive Principles

Merry Stress-ness

and Happy Holi-daze!

Merry Stress-ness and Happy Holi-daze! Dealing with holiday stress this Christmas season.And just like that, the Holiday season is upon us! All the hustle and bustle. All the events. All the demands… in the midst of a time that you want to be enjoyable, meaningful, and manageable!

Why the stress?

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss the causes of holiday stress. But more importantly, I cover the ways to cope with holiday stress.

Don’t let stress rob you of the deeper meanings and connections of this holiday season.

“I’m Just Not Happy” and What To Do About It

What to do when you are "just not happy."Do you ever hear yourself say (or just feel), “I’m just not happy”?

What does it mean? What’s keeping you feeling better?  It might be depression. But it might be something else. (If you are concerned about depression, CHECK OUT THESE RESOURCES.)

There are some other reasons for “just not being happy.”  In fact, in this week’s podcast (you can listen below), I note 4 different reasons.  The good news is there is a path through each one.  But you can only follow the path when you identify it.

If you are “just not happy,” take a listen.  If you know someone who is “just not happy,” invite them to listen with you!

Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

Does everything happen for a reason?In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, “Everything happens for a reason.”

That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments.

But deeper than that, is it even true?

Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand.

Sometimes, we want to think that there is something behind it — not just some random event.  But what does that phrase mean?  Does it mean that some force is trying to teach some lesson?

For many people, the answer is yes.

But does that make it so?

Does everything happen for a reason?

Let’s chat. . .

RELATED RESOURCES:
Moving Through Grief
Living The Big Stuff with Kristine Carlson

Healthy Midlife Transitions

Mid Life Transformation Series

How to have a healthy midlife crisis -- transition and transformation.Not every mid-lifer manages a crisis.  Many make a healthy transition to the new stage of life and development.

The difference?

There are several factors that come into play.  Central is a misunderstanding about what is happening.

Many people refuse to admit some change is happening.  They hold onto old models that no longer work.  They cling to old habits that no longer help.

When people come into my office and tell me they think they are having a midlife crisis, I congratulate them and ask, “What took you so long?”  The longer their delay, the deeper the crisis.

Let’s talk about some strategies of dealing with a midlife crisis in a healthy way.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis

4 Myths of Mid Life Crisis

Mid Life Transformation Series

4 myths of mid life crisis.This week, we turn our attention to mid-life.  Maybe because that is where I am!

Many clients come to me in the midst of a midlife crisis.  But that term carries so much baggage that many people are even embarrassed to consider the fact that it might just be. . . a. . . mid-life crisis brewing!

Too bad.  In reality, mid life is all about transformation.  New opportunities abound.  Possible growth and change is on the horizon.  Deeper meaning.  Greater purpose.  Huge impact.  All the possibilities of a midlife transformation.

In the last couple of years, headlines blared, “Mid Life Crisis Is A Myth.”  But they missed the point of a midlife crisis.  The scale used in research was “happiness.”  Wrong scale.  The right scale is about meaning.  Besides, nobody has figured out how to define or measure happiness with any clarity.

Instead of focusing on the “myth of the midlife crisis,” this week, I turn my attention to 4 myths about midlife crises.

Care to join me?  Listen below:

3 Thoughts To Turn Around Tough Times

3 thoughts to turn around tough times.In the midst of my own serious illness years ago, I had friends who were more than willing to share with me the many ways I might die from my illness.  They seemed to have missed the fact that I had the same information.

But they also missed the fact that I refused to play through every potential scenario.  Not because I was in denial, but because it did not benefit me to focus on it.

In reflection, I used three specific phrases to stay focused on my life (and not my potential demise).

And in fact, these same thoughts and reflections are strong sources of me thriving to this day.

Let me tell you about the thoughts I held and continue to hold when dealing with life circumstances.

Are there other thoughts YOU use?  Share in the comments below.

Choosing How You Live It

You DON'T Have A Choice In What Life Sends Your Way. . .

You don't have a choice on what life sends your way.  You have a choice in how you live it out.If there is one thing clearly evident:  we do not have a choice in what life sends our way.  Sometimes, things happen.  Good things, bad things, in-between things.  “Stuff” happens.

Sometimes, we have zero control over what happens.  Sometimes, we have some influence on what happens.  Sometimes, we have control.  But what about the things that just happen?

We have no choice about that.

But we do have a choice in how we live it out.

After the initial shock of adjusting to something, we get to choose how we move forward.  We can choose how we respond, who we choose to be, and what it teaches.

Listen for more details on how to choose your living when “stuff” happens.

(Learn more about Responsibility HERE.)

 

“What Is” IS What Is

Immutable Law of Living Series

"What Is" is what is:  Immutable Law of LivingEver notice how much time and energy we spend (waste) struggling with “what is?”

We want things to be different than they are.  We want things to have happened differently than they did.

Yet here we are, and those things DID happen.

And we still spend time and energy thinking about how things “should” be different, trying to somehow “make” them different.  All to no avail.

We are better served coming to terms with “What Is,” and then choosing how to move forward.

Do you find yourself struggling with What Is?  Do you find yourself struggling to accept where you are and what has happened?

Let’s talk about how to stop wasting that time and energy.  What Is IS what is. . .

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears
Life is YOUR Responsibility

Change Is Inevitable

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Change is inevitable:  Immutable Law of LivingThere is one constant in life:  Change.  It doesn’t matter if you hate change (most people) or love change (a few people — but usually, only when the change is going their way!).  The change happens.

Watch the seasons of the year go by.  Summer just blew through.  Fall is, inescapably (at least north of the equator) coming in.  Watch your kids.  Like it or not, they keep right on marching toward adulthood.  And (painfully, I might add), watch as your body continues to age — no matter what you do to stop it.  It just keeps on coming.

Change.

It is inevitable.

So, do we ignore it?  Do we hate it?  Or do we accept it and learn to grow with it?

Listen below for my (thriving) opinion.

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited