self development podcast

Community and Connection

January 17, 2022 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

It’s in our DNA. We have a need to connect with others, to have connections and relationships. We express that in close relationships and larger groups.

And unfortunately, lately, we have often allowed tribalism into our connections. When we slip into our tribal thinking, we work from a place of exclusion. This leads to a greater illusion of connection. In reality, that connection is based in being the same as others in the tribe.

Community, on the other hand, allows others to include themselves. It is not about differences. Lines are not drawn to separate. Differences have room for inclusion. And true connection can grow.

Speaking of connection… we need connection in life to thrive. Those who are caught in isolation suffer, both emotionally and in their health. It is also deeply wired into our DNA.

Where is YOUR community?

Where is YOUR connection?

Listen to this episode of Thriveology Podcast for why community and connection are so important.

RELATED RESOURCES
Challenge: Thrive Code #1
Control: Thrive Code #2

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What Is Stress?

November 29, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

WhyWeStress I bet you hear it as much as I do. You may even say it. “I’m so stressed!” The malady of the modern age. Stressed out, exhausted, and frustrated.

But what IS stress?

As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about.

These days, I tend to push my body, physically. I take a good long walk in the morning, usually do a workout after that, then go to jiu jitsu 3 to 5 evenings per week. My body can, indeed, get stressed.

When we talk about “stress,” in everyday life, we are more talking about psychological stress. Which is really just a term for something else. Something we’d rather not claim.

But once we recognize what it really is, we can do something about it. So, let’s figure out why we stress… and what we can do about it.

Listen below to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

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Ego Trips

October 18, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

WhenEgoTrips A couple of episodes back, I discussed some lessons I have learned in my less-than-half a year in jiu jitsu. One of my lessons was about “egoless learning.” Several people asked what I meant by my ego being involved. And what’s wrong with that… the ego?

Well, the ego tends to trip us up, throughout our lives. Why? Because our ego keeps us focused on how we appear, what others think of us, what we look like. And because of that, we try to keep up an image.

And because of that, we trip.

Soon after I learned to scuba dive, I decided I wanted to become an instructor. Partly because I wanted to learn more, partly because I enjoy teaching.

So, after some time of accumulating classes, dive time, and teaching experience, I was ready for my certification process. It was supposed to be a learning event. A place for me to learn more about teaching, got some feedback on how I was teaching, and demonstrated my capacity to teach.

They weren’t looking for me to be the best teacher. I was at the beginning of my teaching.

That said, part of my task was to teach… so they could evaluate me and help me to be better. And to get ready, I had practiced. I created a killer PowerPoint. I had “show and tells.” I just knew they would see what an amazing teacher I was. I would show them!

I finished. They offered feedback. The first piece, “You went 2 minutes longer than your limit.” I was in the middle of a rebuttal, when I realized… I was not learning. I was proving. I was worried about my appearance. My ego was there.

More feedback. More temptation for rebuttal. My ego tripped me up, and I knew it wasn’t the first time. When ego appears, learning disappears.

Listen to this episode to hear how ego trips us up.

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From “If” to “Is”

March 29, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

At the beginning of my career, I was a hospital chaplain. One of my tasks was to help people accept what was going on… to accept the diagnosis, the outcome of an accident or tragedy, to accept the changes. Interestingly, many times, it seemed that those wanting the person to “accept” were really looking for resignation. Kind of giving up.

I think our understanding of acceptance has expanded since then. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

You see, we all want some “alternate reality,” some different space where things didn’t, aren’t, or won’t happen. Where we get to choose to undo/redo, or not do what we don’t like. The alternate reality where things happened or happen or will happen differently.

Except they don’t. They happened as they did. They are happening as they are. And they will happen as they will.

Yes, we have some control about what we do in this moment, and what we will do to move toward the next. But not enough to create our alternate reality where we get to choose everything (we do get to choose our own response, though).

There are 3 “If’s” we play out in our mind. One shift matters, if we want to thrive. The shift to “Is.”

I unpack what that is about and talk about how we can make the shift in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

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What A Year!

March 9, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

What a year! It was one year ago this week that I was on my last business trip. I was at an event with my publisher. Already, we knew COVID was out, and knew it was gaining steam. Other countries had already gone into lockdown… and the US was on the precipice.

While I was away, my wife and I were coordinating with our adult children, trying to make sure we could get them to our home before travel was locked down. That weekend, both came home.

We thought it might be a number of weeks. They were thinking two to three. I was thinking a month or a bit more.

That ended up being months on end. They spent more of 2020 in our home than in their own places.

The economy screeched to a halt, trips were canceled, schools were closed. And our medical system started to strain, faltering under the weight of one illness closing off some areas, while filling others.

It seemed like every day, there was some new shift, new discovery, new point of vulnerability. And in its wake, we, as a country and a world, strained to cope. The grief poured out in anger and despair. Some continued their grief in the world of denial.

And still, the numbers climbed. Families lost loved ones. Spouses lost partners. The world lost citizens. To the point that we could no longer truly comprehend the numbers. Some people recalculated by throwing caution to the wind. Others recalibrated to a life in isolation, hoping that was safe.

One year later. What a year!

Oh, and it isn’t over! Although there are plenty of places and people trying to move on, we are still in the midst of a crisis. While there is a place, in the not-so-distant future, where we get back to a life much more similar to a bit more than a year ago, we aren’t there yet.

And we are also now seeing that the pandemic will not end equally. It hasn’t impacted citizens equally, and the end will come just as unequally. But it will come. How do we get there? I hope together, and I hope a bit wiser.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I think about the shifts and impacts of this past year.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Coping with COVID Series
Finding or Building Hope
Moving Through Grief

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How to Be FREE

March 1, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

One day, I was watching some videos (you know how that rabbit hole works) that led me to a video on this interesting sport. I love water sports, and am frequently daydreaming this time of year about being in warm water.

I have no idea how that led to this video, but it was a team playing this weird underwater game of hockey/ultimate frisbee/survival thing. It was the Underwater Torpedo League.

Underwater Torpedo was invented by two former special ops guys. They used it to help training clients get better at breath holding and calm under stress. But it sure looked like a blast of a time! I filed it under “I’d love to do that!”

Fast-forward and I met these two guys. Turns out they do more than just train some people. They actually train professional athletes on a regular basis, including MMA, NFL, and even pro surfers.

Prime Hall and Don Tran are the guys behind the game. But they are also performance coaches outside the pool. They work with people about performing in life, using their F.R.E.E. Your Mind protocol. Through their coaching, they help people reduce stress, perform better, and become better versions of themselves.

In this episode, Don and Prime discuss their protocol with me, so that you can make shifts toward higher performance in all of your pursuits.

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The Introvert Advantage

January 25, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Just for transparencey, I am an introvert. And for much of my life, I found that frustrating when around others. I felt like a deer in headlights. How do I start a conversation? How do I avoid not going way too deep with a conversation? And working a room? Makes me sweat, just to think about that.

But is there any advantage to the introvert? Is there a place where introversion can be a gift…an advantage?

Well, of course. But most introverts don’t really see it. We just feel the frustration of watching extroverts navigate a party easily, find success in networking, and seem to be at ease in the public.

But what if that group included some true introverts who have managed to look extroverted? And what if those really aren’t strong parameters for success, anyway?

On this episode, my guest is Matthew Pollard, serial entrepreneur, public speaker, author, and… introvert. Matthew’s recent book is about how introverts can actually have the advantage in networking.

In our conversation, Matthew does a great job of defining introversion, debunks some myths around introverts, and lays out a way for introverts to use their natural way of being into a success advantage.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Matthew Pollard’s Website
Go Here for the Free Chapter

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The Power of Choice

January 12, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

The world seems to be careening forward these days. It can feel like we are just holding on for dear life.

But are we?

Sure, there are events that we can’t stop or prevent. Weather comes. Accidents happen. Others make choices that impact us….

Wait. Back up there. Did you see that? Others are making choices. And so can we. Not a choice on whether or not something happens. But a choice on how we respond to it.

Each year, I choose a single word to guide my year. This year, the word is Creator. That does tend to be a large portion of my job these days… creating podcasts, writing books and articles, creating online courses. Even coaching is a creative process, working to help others access their power to create. Their power to choose.

This has me reflecting on a daily basis, on exactly how I am going to be creator to my day. What choices do I make that create my day? What choices do I make that allow me to create?

Am I in full control? No. Nobody is. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have choices. The question is not where I don’t have a choice, but where I do… and don’t act.

Let’s find the power of choice in 2021.

Listen in to the podcast below.

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Stressed Out? Here’s Why…

November 16, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

WhyWeStress These days are filled with stress. The pandemic, politics, relationships, work, pay, weather. You name it, these are stressful times.

But what IS stress?

As much as we toss that term around, sometimes almost as a badge of honor, you may not think about what that term is REALLY about.

When we talk about “stress,” in everyday life, we are more talking about psychological stress. Which is really just a term for something else. Something we’d rather not claim.

But once we recognize what it really is, we can do something about it. So, let’s figure out why we stress… and what we can do about it.

Listen below to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to discover what stress really is… and what we can do about it.

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Find Hope or Build Hope

November 9, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Where does hope come from? Does it come upon us? Do we discover it? Or do we build it?

I believe that hope is an important ingredient in thriving. If you have no hope, it is tough to thrive. Finding hope often helps us find thriving.

Oh, and thriving is not about having an easy life, always exciting and happy. A thriving life is built on taking on the challenges of life. Not avoiding them, but taking them on, learning from them, and thriving because of them.

2020 has been the year of challenges. So, it has also given us lots of opportunities to work on thriving. How has it been for you? Hopeful or hopeless?

What if hope is built? What if all you have to do in order to find hope is follow a formula?

As is true for many things in life, the formula is pretty simple. But that is not to be confused with easy. Do remember that thriving is rarely built, though, on the easy. Taking on the simple, but important, is often the path to thriving.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, we take a look at hope. Where it comes from, how you can find it, and how you can live it… both for yourself and the world.

Listen below.

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