self development podcast

Stuck in Self-Splain

October 27, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you noticed that story you are telling yourself (and others) that is running through your mind? It is the one about why you did (or didn’t do) what you did (or didn’t do). You are trying to explain yourself — to yourself and others.

You are Self-Splaining.

And it is a story. Not necessarily a lie. But also not necessarily the truth.

Humans are story tellers and meaning makers. The stories we tell are to make meaning. It helps the world to make sense, and helps us give reasons for what we did.

And it can keep you stuck.

Your self-splaining keeps you stuck because it “helps” you to make your actions/inactions reasonable (to yourself). Reasonable, as in “Able to Reason.” You can give a reason. One that makes sense to you… even if not to anyone else. You can just keep telling yourself “why” — self-splaining.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss how we self-splain, why that can get you stuck, and what to do to get un-stuck.

RELATED RESOURCES
Paradigms
Stuck and Unstuck
Reasons
Responsibility
My Books on Thriving

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

You are Built for Purpose

October 19, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

So many of us feel despair. It is not as much a loss of hope as loss of purpose. There is no hope without a sense of purpose. It is in your basic design.

Humans are meaning-makers. We find meaning in what happens (or doesn’t happen) around us and to us. We can find meaning in random numbers and events, in an attempt to make sense of the world.

But meaning, alone, is not enough. We also need a sense of purpose. We need to feel that we are moving toward something worthwhile… something significant.

You have a purpose. Whether you are moving toward it or not, it is within you. Waiting.

It is your purpose imprint. Finding it is not enough. But achieving it isn’t what marks success. It is in the movement toward your purpose.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I discuss how we are primed for purpose, need a sense of purpose. And I cover what happens when you don’t have that purpose. And we discuss how to move toward that purpose.

RELATED RESOURCES
MPI Triad
Meaning Matters
Thrive Principles Book
All of My Books

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

“I’m Feeling a Little Acedic”

September 7, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Six months. That is how far we are into the pandemic… at least in the US. Yes, I know. There were cases before then. But March marks the start of the social effects of pandemic. Lock down. Restrictions. Social distance. Six months.

And many people are feeling the effects! I would go so far as to saying most, but plenty would contact me to tell me that they are not.

If you are feeling the effects, I am speaking to you. Do you find yourself just… listless? Out of sorts? Lost in things to do, but not getting them done?

That feeling you are having is not a new one, just from the pandemic. It dates back to the ancient Greeks. It was an idea that Christian writers discussed as the distraction of monks and others. In fact, it was a thought process Christian writers warned against, as it can spiral.

And here we sit, 1/2 of a year into feeling the effects of a pandemic. And many people are feeling just a bit… acedic. The term for this feeling was Acedia. That listless, not caring, ought-to-be-doing-something restlessness, where nothing actually gets done.

Is that the feeling you have?

It is perfectly normal… which is different than saying it is helpful. So while it is no surpirse you are feeling it, let’s talk about the acedia antidote.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Coping with Covid Series
Hope During These Days
LeeBaucom.com
My Book Page

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Is Your Mind Set?

August 31, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

I’m not an athlete, I told myself. I was the last chosen for teams pretty much every time. And more often than not, admittedly, I dropped the ball or didn’t run fast enough. So I lived up to the low expectations of being a teammate.

That kept me believing that I was not an athlete. And so, I never tried to be athletic.

Years later, when I was recovering from being sick, I decided I needed to get into shape. I was motivated by a scuba class when I realized how out of shape I was. I dragged myself into the weight room, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself in class. I took to the pool for the same reason.

And I slowly got into shape. Which led to a friend asking if I wanted to adventure race. Why not? I might as well, I reasoned. Then, I trained and completed a trail marathon. And ran quite a few 5k’s. Not an athlete, though.

Then, at a conference, someone told me she wanted to write a book, but she “wasn’t a writer.” I asked what she was doing. She wrote every single day. And she had lots of pieces put together for her future book. But, she “wasn’t a writer.”

I noted to her that writers do one thing. They write. She was writing, ergo she was a writer!

Then I went for a run. And thought about that discussion. Runners are athletes. Runners run. I was running. Ergo, I was a runner… and maybe an athlete?

My mindset had tripped me up. I had myself in a fixed mindset. And to get to a better place, I needed to shift to a growth mindset.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss Dr. Carol Dweck’s concept of growth and fixed mindsets from her book, Mindset. A fixed mindset keeps us stuck. But a growth mindset always gives room for growth and change.

Listen in to discover where your mindset is stuck… and how to shift it to growth.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

How to NOT Thrive: Next 5

August 24, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Well, you are on to me! Last week, I started talking about things you can do to guarantee that you DON’T thrive. I’m sure you knew I didn’t really want you to NOT thrive. But I wanted to point out some ways people make themselves miserable… and what they might do to shift.

If you missed that episode, JUST CLICK HERE TO HEAR IT.

It is interesting to notice how we humans can really mess up our lives! Life throws us enough to deal with. Then, we tend to multiply it with our own blind spots and stuck points.

With my Top 10 List To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive, I wanted to point out 10 ways that people really do keep themselves stuck. And the fact is, I see these same patterns repeated over and over by many people.

So, if you see yourself in one (or more) of the stuck points, that just means you are… well… human. Congratulations on being able to spot it! That is the first step in doing something different… something new… something more… THRIVING!

Listen in below for the REST of the ways you can keep from thriving… so you can thrive! (Unless you don’t want to… then just follow my suggestions.)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

How NOT To Thrive: Top 5

August 17, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive. And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive. In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving! You want to be miserable and live a smaller life. You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving? How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive. I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s. You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving. It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps. They are all around us! And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

How to Engage in Life

August 10, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Wow! What a time in history, right? A pandemic rages. Division is pulling us apart. Sometimes, it seems easier just to crawl under a rock and hide.

But hiding isn’t the solution. And you have more to offer than hiding. You are built to engage the world, to make a difference.

Then why do we “play small”? When there should be more to life? More for YOU to do in life? More your life should be about?

That life you are thinking about… that is the Engaged Life. Living with more engagement, more depth, more meaning… more purpose.

Over the years, this has been a fairly constant refrain from clients: “There should be more to life than THIS.” There is….

Engaging in life. Being engaged in life.

Living a bit deeper… a bit wider.

Over the years, 3 P’s have emerged as the Path to living an engaged life. Those 3 P’s: Passion, Purpose, and Presence.

When you are focused on building those 3 areas, your Engaged Life builds.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I cover the 3 P’s of Living an Engaged Life. Listen below.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Success Principles

August 3, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

One of my favorite authors and experts is Jack Canfield. He has my full respect. My kids grew up with Chicken Soup For The Soul. I “grew up” with The Success Principles, a book that gave me a plan to shift my mindset.

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Jack. It was such a great interview, I wanted to share it again. If you have already heard it, listen for something new. If you haven’t, it is a great opportunity to hear from Jack.

Jack and I really got into some important topics. We talked about being 100% responsible (one of his Principles), and what that means.

One of my favorite principles is the equation, E + R = O (event + response = outcome). We had a chance to discuss that equation in-depth. This is a crucial formula for thriving in life.

As we discussed fear, Jack talked about the fact that fear is NOT a stop sign. It is simply a caution sign. And then Jack discussed a way to even eliminate that fear (a slight movement away from the “feel the fear and do it anyway” idea from his earlier work).

Is your life where you want it to be? If not, please listen in and discover how to start getting there. Jack gives specific steps to take.

If you want to learn more, go to TheSuccessPrinciples.com, or GRAB HIS BOOK right here.

You can find the interview below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Jack’s Website and Resources
More on Responsibility
Dealing with Fear

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

7 Ways to Worry Less

June 29, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Is worry robbing you of living? Are you putting more energy into worry thoughts than you want to, leaving you less energy for where you want to spend your thoughts (and your life)?

Most people do. Worry is an aimless attempt to locate threats and mitigate them. Why aimless? Because worry can shift from topic to topic, issue to issue, person to person, without action or direction.

In the last Thriveology Podcast episode, I noted 6 truths about worrying. This was to provide a background understanding for taking action. Action to reduce your worry. Which, as promised, is the topic of this episode.

I cover 7 strategies that will help you reduce your worry (and wasted worry energy) and let you make a mental shift to more helpful thoughts.

If you worry, this episode is for you. If you worry that you worry too much, this episode is definitely for you! Tune in to learn how to reduce your worries — and deal with worries as they pop up.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

What Stage Are You In? – Pandemic Grief

June 1, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you ever had the experience of a doctor telling you what was wrong with you, and even if you couldn’t really do anything, it helped to know what it was? Maybe it was just an ache or pain, a small illness. Just having a name for it — even some fancy latin term (or maybe especially some latin term) — somehow makes it seem better. Naming something helps us feel some control.

This pandemic has stripped us of many feelings of control. It more often feels like life is disrupted and dangerous. Early in the pandemic — but far enough in that it was clear we were headed down a long path — I was wondering why it took me so long to process that we were in for a long-haul… with implications for every segment of life. Why had I “missed” the signs?

Denial. That is what I realized. I had been playing the denial game.

Which reminded me that I was experiencing a grief response. I was in grief! From the pandemic. Well, the pandemic losses and impact.

Over the next few weeks, as I talked with individuals and organizations, I noticed that we were all in collective grief, as well as experiencing the individual grief. And as the pandemic has continued, I have noticed that people are experiencing the different stages of grief at different times. That very fact seems to be at the root of much of the struggles I see played out on social media and regular media. Clashing stages.

Still, stages. Grief comes in stages. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross noted 5 stages. Her colleague, David Kessler, has more recently added a potential 6th stage (an aspirational stage for many). The point of describing the stages is not so much to force people on through the stages. It is more for being able to name the stage for what it is. The capacity of looking at where you are and naming the stage gives a sense of control. And when we have some sense of control, we can choose whether we are where we want to be, or if we would rather shift. The shift becomes an option.

Or we can just name the stage and know that is what we are experiencing.

What stage of grief are you in? I discuss the 5+1 stages in this week’s episode of the Thriveology Podcast. Listen below.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

«Previous Page