Ease <==> Dis-Ease

Finding your ease when the days are filled with scary stuff.  Don’t let the fear keep you from thriving.“So, I guess it is pretty tough to thrive these days, isn’t it?” a friend remarked.  He was assuming that, in order to thrive, life must be going well.  Everything in place, and everything humming along.

Sure, those are nice days.  And yes, they represent easier moments.  But thriving is not just about having things go well.  It is possible to thrive, in spite of what life is throwing your way.

Or maybe because of what life is throwing at you.

And wow, life is really throwing it at us these days, isn’t it?  Yesterday marked the one year anniversary since the first COVID case made it to the States.  We’ve been living with that virus now for a year.  Then throw in the economic struggles, thanks to the virus.  Then toss in a little political struggle, some social unrest.  These are challenging days!

And if we aren’t careful, we can let media (social and otherwise) keep us hyped up on fear and dread.

Or we can find our place of calm.  Our spot of ease.

In this episode of Thriveology Podcast, I cover the space between Un-Ease, Dis-Ease, and Ease.  How to make the shift.

RELATED RESOURCES
The Coping with COVID series
Dealing with Stress
Finding Calm
Better Breathing

Starting Your Day Strong
Ending Your Day Better
My Books on Thriving

 

How NOT To Thrive: Top 5

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
It Isn’t Personal
It IS What It IS
Forgiving
Hard Isn’t The Question
Dealing with Fear
Book:  Thrive Principles

 

6 Truths About Worry

6 Truths About Worry.  How to worry less and live more.How much do you worry?  How often do you find yourself thinking about things that could go wrong?  Things that might happen to those you love?  Things that might happen to you?

Worry is a common issue for people.  And sadly, worry robs us of living.  It costs us lots of energy, and exposes us to fears over possible events — not actual events.

When we worry, we focus on the future, what could happen.  Which draws us away from what is happening.  What is happening in this moment, in actuality.

Unfortunately, for many, worry is a habit.  It happens almost automatically.  Worry robs people of sleep, of connection, and of presence.  Many people struggle to get to sleep, worried about what might happen.  Many people connect less, since they are worried about what might happen.  And people are less present, since they are focused on what might happen.

There are some truths to worry that we need to understand, if we are going to turn down the “worry dial.” These truths point to why people worry, why it is a waste, and how to begin shifting away from worry.

Listen below.  And in the next episode, I will share some strategies for worrying less.

RELATED RESOURCES
Dealing with Anxiety
The Beating Depression Series
The Less Fear Series
Thrive Principles Book

How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
It Isn’t Personal
It IS What It IS
Forgiving
Hard Isn’t The Question
Dealing with Fear
Book:  Thrive Principles

 

Emotional Potty-Training

Rachel Kaplan - Emotional Potty-TrainierHow are you with your emotions?

This isn’t a question on whether you are “in touch with your emotions” or not.  It is how you process the emotions.

Some people have, well, “emotional diahrrea.”  Emotions just dump wherever and whenever.

Others have “emotional constipation.”  They just can’t get them out.  Emotions get stuck, lodged in hurtful and painful ways.

Maybe we all need a little “emotional potty training.”

When Rachel Kaplan was 14 years old, her boyfriend killed himself, leaving Rachel emotionally wounded.  She blamed herself and tried to make sense of such a tragedy at such a young age.  The emotional wound stayed with her for years.

And it led Rachel on a quest of healing.  First, she wanted to find her own healing.  But over the years, she began to use her new knowledge and skills to bring healing to others.  Trained in Western and Eastern healing approaches, Rachel began to see her work as “emotional potty training.”

She helps people who have buried their emotions deep in a “basement of shame,” which means the emotions cannot process through.  Her task is to help people to find their Authentic Self, to heal their core wounds, and discover their worth.

Listen in as Rachel and I discuss Emotional Potty Training.

RELATED RESOURCES
Discover Your Core Wound – Rachel’s Quiz
Healing Feeling – Rachel’s Podcast
Resilience
Dealing with Grief

Free of Fear Series

The Other Side of Fear.Fear is an unavoidable part of life.  The question is whether fear rules your life, or is just a part of life.  Your brain is built for fear — it is attempting to look for all the threats possible… and does a better-than-helpful job at that!

There is no way to be “fearless.”  But you CAN have less fear.  And you can decide how to act, regardless of fear (not because of fear or even in spite of fear, but regardless).

My podcast episodes on dealing with fear can help you decide how to live, regardless of fear in your life.

Here are the links to the episodes:

The Other Side Of Fear

3 Myths of Fear

4 Steps to Taming Your Fear

Worry Less, Live More

2 Magic Questions To Live Beyond Fear

3 Ways Fear Keeps You Stuck

Fear Life or Fierce Life?

Beliefs, Behavior, and A Fierce Life

 

 

The Appreciation Approach

The Appreciation ApproachYour brain is really only capable of being in one of two modes:  fear/threat or love/appreciation. Unfortunately, the fear/threat mode is pretty much the default and automatic.

Fortunately, changing to manual and shifting to love/appreciation is not complicated.

More than that, there is plenty of research to point to the specific benefits of that shift:

  • Better emotional health,
  • Higher pain tolerance,
  • Higher sociability,
  • Greater life satisfaction,
  • More sleep,
  • More exercise,
  • etc., etc., etc.

There really isn’t much of a downside to gratitude and appreciation.  It just requires a shift in habits to get there.

Got 10 minutes or so per day, just for the next month?  YOU can build your appreciation/gratitude  toolkit and add it to your Thriving Toolbox.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift
Your Built-In Importance Indicator
The Importance Matrix

Fear or Love; Your Choice!

You can live in fear and threat or love and appreciation.  Your choice.Have you ever wondered whether your brain controlled your mind or your mind controlled your brain?  Here is the answer:

YES.

Your brain certainly affects your thinking. But your thinking affects your brain. . . and you can CHOOSE where your thoughts dwell.

Brain chemistry is much more complicated.  And we know very little about how that chemistry works, anyway.

What we DO know about the brain is there are three layers.  The most primitive and deepest part of your brain scans the environment for threats — locking you into a fight/flight mode when it is activated.  The next layer is all about emotions.  And the top layer is about thoughts and reason.  We like that part.  But we often forget about the other layers.  Those other layers can keep us stuck, though.

Let’s talk about your brain and your mind.  Let’s discuss how to shift to Love/Appreciation — or you default to Fear/Threat.

Where do you want to spend your time?

(If you missed the earlier parts of the Immutable Laws Of Living Series, the links are below.)
Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears
Life is YOUR Responsibility
“What Is” IS What Is
Control What You Can (Release The Rest)
Forgive To Live
Life Is The NOW
How Do You Spend Your Time?

We ALL Have Fears!

We ALL Have Fears:  Immutable Law of LivingFear is wired into our brain.  And there isn’t any way to unwire it!

Which is probably for the best.  Sometimes, fear keeps you from doing something foolish.  It helps to keep you alive.

But it can also keep you stuck.

In many coaching sessions, I ask, “Why didn’t you do that very important thing you know you need to do in order to have a better life, a thriving life?” (OK, I usually condense that to asking why they didn’t do X, whatever X was.)

And the #1 most common response?

“Because I was afraid!”

Fear does not serve us well when it holds us back.

(Here’s a little secret:  we ALL have fears.  What you do about them determines whether you are thriving or stuck.  Your choice.  Listen below for some help.)

Oh, and here are the links to the other episodes in the Immutable Laws of Living Series:

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can

Calming Your Thriving Body

Calm your thriving body -- without drugs and without becoming a hermit!“I’m so stressed out,” has become a very common refrain.  But what does that mean?  Have you paused for a moment to wonder, what is behind that idea?

We all have moments of feeling a bit overwhelmed and frazzled.  We all have times when we react to some event.  Our body comes along for the ride.  Adrenaline spikes, headaches strike, stomachs get upset, palms get sweaty. . . our body goes into Fight/Flight mode.  Not a pretty picture, and not very fun.

We all have our coping strategies.  Some are helpful and healthy, others — not so much.  Some people crawl under the covers and hide from those events.  Others rely on a few choice substances to forget those events or at least numb the body.

But some have found other, healthier, ways to face the events, understand their response, and move through the responses.  They experience the same event but learn to move through healthily and helpfully.

Let’s talk about the truth of stress — and how to deal with stress effectively , but healthily.

Your Thriving Body Series:
Introduction
Fueling Your Thriving Body
Fueling You Thriving Body, Pt. 2

Moving Your Thriving Body
Resting Your Thriving Body