The Power of Expectations

Art Costello and the Power of Expectations.What do you expect from life?  Sometimes, our expectations can get us into trouble.  Maybe you expect things to go badly.  Or maybe you expect something beyond your control.  Either way, your expectations trip you up.

Yet every action you take is based on expectation.  Sure, you want to “live in the present moment.”  But present moments are often moving toward something.  For example, as I sit here, I write this with an expectation that you will read it.  If I expected it would not be read, I would do something else.

Or lets say I go to the fridge to open it.  I didn’t blindly do that.  I was expecting to find something to eat (which may or may not work out… but I have an expectation).

Some people advise us to give up expectations.  No expectation, no disappointment, they say.

But today, my guest disagrees.  He says expectations have power.  We need to tap into our expectations in order to create the life we want.

Art Costello is creator of Expectation Therapy.  He says your life changes when you change your expectation.  It is the seed from which we both perceive the world and grow into our better lives.

Listen in to master the power of your expectations.

RELATED RESOURCES
Art Costello’s Website, Expectation Therapy
Kill That Sacred Cow!
The Power of A Challenge
Big WHY versus Little Why’s

 

Break Free From Your Prison

What prison holds you?

We ALL have some prison in our lives.  Maybe there aren’t any real bars and locked doors.  But it still keeps us stuck, trapped and unable to grow.  It might be a way of thinking, a relationship, a job.  It may be just your own view of yourself and your capacities.  But something keeps us stuck.

Is it possible to break free?  To escape the prisons in our lives?

Marian McSpadden on how to break free from your own prison.  According to my guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, is not only possible… it is crucial!

Marian McSpadden discovered that she was trapped in a life… a belief system… that kept her from becoming her truest and best self.

So, she planned her escape!  And she broke free.  In her case, quite literally.  Was it easy?  No.  Was it worthwhile?  Marian says, “Absolutely!”

And so, Marian is out to help others find their freedom from their own prison.  If you are stuck, caught in a belief system, a relationship, a job, or something else, discover your path out, your escape route!

Listen in as Marian McSpadden and I discuss the power of breaking free from your prison.

RELATED RESOURCES
Marian’s Website with Helpful Resources
Getting Un-Stuck
Dealing with Fear
Fear and Courage
KNAC Protocol

Having Tough Conversations

Tough conversations are, well, tough.  You know, those conversations you know you need to have… but avoid having them.  Maybe you aren’t comfortable with the topic.  Or maybe it feels risky to have that conversation.

Here is the problem:  when we avoid tough conversations, we also avoid real engagement.  And we miss the opportunity for deeper connection, more intimacy… and importantly, the opportunity for resolution!David Wood, Playing Life For Real, playforreal.life, how to have tough conversations.

My guest on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast is a returning guest.  Always about “keeping it real,” David Wood returns to discuss how to have those tough conversations.  David says he is an evangelist for tough conversations, trying to spread the word on how important those convos are!

But more than that, David wants to share a process of how to have those tough conversations on difficult issues. In his 4 step process (plus 1 “pre”-step), David reveals a method of how to have the conversations you’ve been ducking and avoiding.  You just have to follow the steps (and he has a special tool available to help you with it).

Stop avoiding the tough conversations.  Learn how to have them.  Learn to resolve the underlying issues.  And watch your life expand.

RELATED RESOURCES
David’s Website for Free Resource
Earlier Podcast with David
Dealing with Anxiety
Showing Up in Live
Finding MORE in Life

Generating Happiness

Amy Huentelman discusses generating happiness.  How to be happy from the inside, not waiting for something to happen.  Shift from your mind to your True self... and discover happiness.Have you been to the Self-Help area of a bookstore lately?  We are awash with books on happiness.  There are lots of articles on happiness.  And lots of trainings and courses on happiness.  Heck, I have even addressed it many times before.

So, why aren’t we happy?  Why haven’t we made a shift, as a culture, to higher levels of happiness?

Many times, people keep looking “out there” for what will finally make them happy.  Something needs to “happen” to make them “happy.”

Maybe… just maybe… we are looking in the wrong place.  In the wrong direction.  We are looking “out there,” when the potential has been “in here” the whole time.

She calls herself “the Happiness Generator” and in this episode, Amy Huentelman discusses how you can generate happiness… from the inside!  By getting out of your head and into your deeper self.  Your True Self.

And not by waiting for something to shift “out there,” but how to make the shift “from within.”

If you want some help in making that shift, and in learning how to generate happiness, listen in to this episode.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Free 10 Minute Process from Amy (audio)
The Happiness Trap
Chasing Happiness Away
Chasing Mis-Wants
Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

The Power of a Challenge

How to challenge yourself and grow!Are you up for a challenge?

In the last episode of my podcast, I discussed how to hold on when life is tough.  That’s when life is challenging you.

But what about when life isn’t so challenging… where life is copacetic?  Just cruising.

It’s my observation that we work hard to keep life flat.  We work hard to keep things smooth.  Cold out?  Turn on the heater.  Hot out?  Turn on the A/C.  Keep things even… even-keeled.  Flat.

We spend LOTS of energy to save the energy of dealing witb challenges, big or small.

But does that help (or harm) us?  Does it keep us safe or make us fragile?

What if taking on small challenges actually gets us better prepared for bigger challenges?  What if making choices to expand into life helps us deal with life encroaching upon us?

One of my “things” is to find little challenges for myself… new things to try, new activities to do, new tastes or sounds to take in, and new ways to try life.

How about you?  What challenges are you taking on right now?

Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to discover the power of a challenge.

RELATED RESOURCES
Learning and Life
Ways to Expand
Growth Mindset
Lessons in Jiu Jitsu
Book:  Thrive Principles
 

Big WHY Vs. Little Why’s

Your BIG WHY versus the little why's that keep you stuck.What’s your WHY?  Your BIG WHY?  Why you are here.  The WHY that is your life purpose?

I think we all have one… even if we haven’t found it yet.  It’s there.  Within us.  Your first task is to find it.  That’s important.  But finding it isn’t enough.  Second, you have to move toward it, work toward it… try to fulfill it.  If it is big enough, it may just take you the rest of your life!

But what could get in your way??

The little “why’s.”  Your questions about “why did this happen?”, “why are things this way?”, “why do I feel this way?”

Those little why’s can drown out the BIG WHY.  It draws our attention away from what is important.  And yet, those little why’s get our attention and energy.  They keep us in circles, chasing after nothing helpful or useful.  Just stuck.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss our BIG WHY and the little why’s that keep us away from the BIG WHY.

RELATED RESOURCES
Meaning/Purpose/Impact
Showing Up
Accepting WHAT IS
What Can You Control?
What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 1
What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 2
Thrive Principles Book

Choosing MORE

Live life fully.  Choose MORE!We ALL want MORE out of life… right?  But more of what?  More toys?  More stuff?

Or are we craving more of LIFE?  Of living… more?  Living a more full life?

I think that is it.  At least, that is “it” for me.  Experiencing more, connecting more, adding more purpose, living more of “me.”  And I suspect that is true for you, too.  But sometimes, we aren’t sure about how to do it.

Not whether we want to or not.

Just how to do it.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, we cover how to Choose More in your life… and what to Choose More of!

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
You Have to Show UP
Your Impact
Your Thriving Body Series
Thrive Principles Book

Learn or… Learn

Win or lose... or learn and learn.I don’t know about you, but I was raised around competition.  Not so much from my parents, but from culture.  In school, you compete in all sorts of tasks… trying to prove how smart, how good, how talented, how athletic, how whatever you are… compared to the others.

It doesn’t stop there, but keeps on going.  Win or lose.  That’s all that matters.  Well, winning.  That’s what matters.

Remember Ricky Bobby from the movie, Talladega Nights? “If you ain’t first, you’re last!”  In other words, you win… or you have lost.

(Do remember, though, that at another point in the movie, Ricky Bobby is talking with his Dad… and gets challenged:
Ricky Bobby: “Wait, Dad. Don’t you remember the time you told me ‘If you ain’t first, you’re last’?”
Reese Bobby: “Huh? What are you talking about, Son?”
Ricky Bobby: “That day at school.”
Reese Bobby: “Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth.”
Ricky Bobby: “What? I’ve lived my whole life by that!”
There you go… a first… a quote in a Will Ferrell movie to make a point about thriving!)

We grow up on that whole “win or learn” thing… which ties us tightly to our ego.  If we win, ego boost.  If we lose, ego bruise.  What will others think??

Maybe it is worth making a shift.

Nelson Mandela said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” When you don’t win, you can learn! Great shift.  “Losing” is an opportunity for learning.  When you don’t win, there is an opportunity for growth, for learning… for being better.

But it is still bound by ego. What if it isn’t even the win? But the learn? Then, we either learn… or we learn.

Listen to this episode for more on winning/losing versus learning/learning.

RELATED RESOURCES
What I learned in Jiu Jitsu
More I learned in Jiu Jitsu
Even MORE I learned in Jiu Jitsu
Trial-And-Error Mindset
Three Growth Mindsets
Showing UP
Book:  Thrive Principles
Book:  The Immutable Laws of Living

… And show some love with a tweet by CLICKING HERE.

How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 2

How to NOT thrive... and what to do instead.Well, you are on to me!  Last week, I started talking about things you can do to guarantee that you DON’T thrive.  I’m sure you knew I didn’t really want you to NOT thrive.  But I wanted to point out some ways people make themselves miserable… and what they might do to shift.

If you missed that episode, JUST CLICK HERE TO HEAR IT.

It is interesting to notice how we humans can really mess up our lives!  Life throws us enough to deal with.  Then, we tend to multiply it with our own blind spots and stuck points.

With my Top 10 List To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive, I wanted to point out 10 ways that people really do keep themselves stuck.  And the fact is, I see these same patterns repeated over and over by many people.

So, if you see yourself in one (or more) of the stuck points, that just means you are… well… human.  Congratulations on being able to spot it!  That is the first step in doing something different… something new… something more… THRIVING!

Listen in below for the REST of the ways you can keep from thriving… so you can thrive!  (Unless you don’t want to… then just follow my suggestions.)

RELATED RESOURCES
How To NOT Thrive, Part 1
Control What You Can
Dealing with Stress
Gratitude
Feedback
Meaning & Purpose
Make An Impact
Book:  Thrive Principles

How To Guarantee You DON’T Thrive

Part 1

5 ways to guarantee that you don't thrive... and what to do instead.Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive… even getting other experts to do the same.

But today, just for a moment, let’s assume you DON’T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to… well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I’m not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that… let’s play a little mental game and pretend you just don’t want to thrive.)

What then?

How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode.

Why in the world would I do this?

Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT’s.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and see if you find yourself falling into any of the non-thriving traps.  They are all around us!  And sometimes, we are doing them… not even realizing it.

Listen below for part 1 of How To Guarantee You Don’t Thrive.

RELATED RESOURCES:
It Isn’t Personal
It IS What It IS
Forgiving
Hard Isn’t The Question
Dealing with Fear
Book:  Thrive Principles