Order, Disorder, Reorder

The cycle of life:  order, disorder, reorderThere are days when you just wish that something would change.  The same ol’ same ol’ just seems to roll along.  And then there are the days you wished that things wouldn’t change.  What happened?  How did things turn upside down?

One simple word to explain both situations:  Life.

If you don’t find that comforting, let’s call it the cycle of life.  Because cycles keep on rolling.  If you can’t wait for a change, no worries.  Things will change.  If things seem so be changing on all sides, guess what?  Change will stop.  Things will re-configure.

In life, we are always moving through a cycle:  Order, Disorder, Reorder.  The first can get a little old and stale.  But at least it is predictable and… maybe even feels safe.  Then comes the call, the letter, the diagnosis, the pink slip, or maybe just the next step.  A child goes off to college, you finish college, a friend moves away, you move away.  Something shifts and throws you into disorder.

It is a tough spot.  Painful and grief-ful.  But life does not stop there.  We move through it, find a new way to keep on moving.  And life re-orders.  It is a new order.  But it is the re-order.

And at some point, the reorder becomes the order.  And the cycle repeats.  From the day we are born until the day we die.

The question is how we move through the cycle… not IF, but HOW.

Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast for moving through the Order/Disorder/Reorder Cycle.

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Course Corrections and Course Changes

Do you need to make a course correction or a course change?“How did I end up here?,” my client asked.  He told me that for so long, he thought he was headed in the right direction.  Now, he thinks maybe it was the entirely wrong direction.

I asked him, “Did you course correct along the way?”  He looked at me rather quizzically.  So, I elaborated, “If you are sailing, you point the boat toward some object in the distance, in the direction you want to sail.  You sail toward it.  But the winds push, the current pushes, and you end up a little off-course.  So, you course correct.”

But then, I added: “Sometimes, you realize that where you thought you wanted to go is not really where you want to go… or maybe it isn’t safe to go.  Maybe a storm or something else.  But you have to go somewhere else.  So, you change course.”

And I continued, “Then there are the times when you don’t course-correct as you go, and the small space of being off-course begins to broaden as you go.  What might have been just a course correction at the beginning is now a course change.”

Then I returned to our dialogue and asked, “So, did you course correct… or is this a course change?”

Just to be clear:  either is fine.  We all have the option of course changes in life.  Sometimes, it is just a course correction.  But it is okay if you need a course change.

It’s a part of life.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I explore the difference between a course correction and a course change.  What does it look like, and when is it time for a change?

Listen below.

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Curing Insomnia

Ruth Stern - Healing InsomniaOver 40 million people.  Every year.  That is the number who suffer from insomnia, in the United States alone.  It’s just a little “missed sleep,” right?  Maybe a little cranky in the morning, but nothing that a cup of coffee can’t fix. Right?

Wrong.

First, insomnia is incredibly frustrating.  When you want to sleep, but can’t, it is frustrating.  Especially if everyone else is peacefully slumbering everywhere else in your house!

Second, a lack of sleep is detrimental to our mental and physical well-being.  Each year, more studies show how important sleep is.  It is implicated in anxiety and depression.  It is tied to higher rates of accidents.  It contributes to high blood pressure, diabetes, dementia, weight gain, and many other chronic issues.

Let alone that crankiness that can make the day so hard!

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss curing insomnia with Ruth Stern.  After suffering from insomnia for 19 years, Ruth set out to find a solution.  A trained therapist, Ruth turned to an energy psychology technique to help herself to heal from insomnia.  An overnight cure?  Nope.  But it worked.  And has worked for many others.

Listen in as Ruth Stern and I discuss curing insomnia.

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Playing Life For Real

David Wood, Playing Life For Real, playforreal.lifeHow’s your life going? The way you want?  Or not quite?  Do you want to “level up” and play a bigger game?  Have a bigger life?

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I chat with David Wood, successful-entrepreneur-turned-life-coach.  Nope, not a business coach (although he does some of that), but a life coach.  Helping successful people “level up” to more success.

While David had been successful in his work, something was missing — connection.  Tied to an early childhood trauma (we talk about it), David decided to “play it safe” with relationships… and then realized that “playing it safe” kept him disconnected and distant.

How?

Playing bigger.  Taking risks.  Daring.  And Caring.

David starts with a question, “What if we are living in a maze, running it every day?  We can keep doing that, or we can step back and decide to play it bigger.”

Using his 3 Pillars and 4 Point Plan, David points the way to anyone wanting to play on a bigger field.  To play “full out” in the game of life — which David notes is a very important game!

Listen below.

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The Myth of Life Balance

Jarrod CastilloWe have a sectional couch.  My spot is right in the corner.  I can sit one way, stretch my legs out the other way.  And my dog, Ziggy, settles in right beside me.  Why do I tell you that?  Well, when I am crammed into that corner, you might say I am “balanced.”  No way will I fall over, in any direction.  I’m propped up and held in position.

Other than that, balance is something I work at.  You do, too.  Even if you aren’t aware of it.  We humans stand on two feet.  Quite a balancing accomplishment.  Your legs and feet are constantly readjusting, trying to keep you upright.  You are, in other words, always a bit off-balance.  Walking?  Simply falling forward and catching yourself.  Balance… not so much.

Then, you open up tons of self-help literature that tells you that happiness comes from “balance in life.”  But what if balance is… well… a myth?

The challenge is in trying to find some balance, deciding what to balance, and when to be off-balance.

If you follow me and my podcast much, you know that I have been doing jiu jitsu for nearly 1 1/2 years.  That pretty much makes me an advanced white belt (soon to be blue, though).  And along the way, it became clear that the moves work sometimes because I have established a balanced spot (“base” would be the term), and at times because I am willing to be off-balanced, shifting momentum in my favor.  Same in life.  Sometimes, I need to find my base.  But many times, to get the momentum, I need to be a bit off-balance.

And if you have found yourself thinking, “I need to find balance,” let me (and my guest) go ahead and shoot that down.  It is the myth of balance you need to know and understand.

This week, I interview Jarrod Castillo.  When I first met Jarrod, he was in the middle of a ballroom, doing a handstand.  And he was the only one doing it.  That caught my attention.

Jarrod and I discuss the myth of balance and why that is so important to understand.  Join me for a great interview with Jarrod (Wolf).

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How To Use Your Sub-Conscious Mind

Dot Campbell and Using Your Subconscious Mind.Your subconscious mind is constantly active, constantly scanning your world.  It controls our choices and actions, emotions and feelings.  Scanning for threats, it is relying on old scripts and patterns.

And that is why our subconscious is often running us, not the other way around.  It is running our lives, not working as a tool for a better life.

Dot Campbell is trying to turn that around.  She is out to show the world how to use their subconscious mind as a tool.

While most people believe their conscious mind (the judging, analyzing part of your mind) is in charge of decisions.  But the subconscious mind, always accumulating information and running your emotions, often runs the show.

Join me as Dot and I discuss her 3A’s of using your subconscious mind to build a better life.

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Digging Down To Your True Self

Dr. Avis Attaway talks about finding your True Self.We tend to give up our “True Self” along the way, victim to our Ego — what we show the world. Your True Self didn’t go anywhere. It is tucked deep down inside, “protected.”

Not really protected, though.  The Ego and our defense mechanisms are trying to protect it.  But in the process, it gets buried.  Deeper and deeper over the years.  Unless we do some digging.  Some growing.  Some nurturing.

What buries it?  Traumas.  Bruisings.  Brushes with pain and fear.  Which is why we keep trying to compensate.  To react and keep those “dangers” away… which is really our way of keeping fear away.

According to Dr. Avis Attaway, we have to move through three phases to get back to our True Self:

  1. Self-Awareness
  2. Self-Mastery
  3. Self-Expression

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, Avis and I discuss how to get back to that True Self, our best self.

Listen below.

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Even MORE Lessons From Jiu Jitsu

Even MORE lessons I have learned from my study of jiu jitsu.I’ve rolled and been rolled, tapped and been tapped.  My journey into jiu jitsu continues!

Since my last post on lessons I have learned in jiu jitsu (LIFE lessons — not just jiu jitsu moves and techniques), I’ve continued on my journey.  The first time I posted, I was just a few months into my study.  When I completed my Combatives belt (a Gracie standard), I added a second post.

This past month, I hit another achievement, having been awarded my Blue belt.  So, it is time for a bit more reflection and thought.

After 16 months of fairly intense study, I realize that the deeper I dig, the more there is to learn.  Kind of like life.  Something seems so simple… until you start in.  Then, things become far more complex.

Mastery is the point when the complex becomes simple again.  And I am far from that.

Join me as I explore 5 more lessons I’ve learned (and relearned) from my time studying jiu jitsu.

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Listen to the Wisdom of Your Body

GregLeeAndAntoniaVanBeckerSometimes, we spend so much time trying to think through a problem that we just get stuck.  Our minds tend to spiral on the same thoughts over and over… not really giving any new information or help.

“What should I do?” is usually followed by an almost endless loop of “What should I do?”  Or worse yet, we take action, but then realize that our thinking was more limited than we thought.

There HAS to be a better way, right?

According to Greg Lee and Antonia Van Becker, there is!  We just have to shift from listening to our thoughts.  It is not shifting to listen to someone else… not a friend, spouse, relative, or even a therapist or coach (OK, you may want to consult with someone else, but that is not the only place).

So, where do you turn?  As it turns out, not too far from your mind.  Just a bit, ummm, down.

To your body.

Let me freely admit that for lots of years, I chose to NOT listen to my body.  I lived from the neck, up.  It would seem that one day, my body decided to get my attention.  And let’s just say that the resulting mess was painful and scary.  But my body got my attention!

Even if I didn’t know how to listen at that moment, I knew I needed to pay attention to it.

Greg and Antonia take it much further.  They suggest you can even ask your body for guidance… and your body will, well, guide you.

In this episode of the podcast, Antonia and Greg share what it means to “listen to your body.”  And they share 6 steps to follow when you hit a tipping point in your day (or your life).

Listen below!

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Success Leaves A Trail

CoreyPoirierWe can fail in so many ways.  Often, it is just a matter of stumbling through, not looking for a better path.  We forge new paths to failure.  That is often “life on automatic.”

If someone has succeeded, though, they leave a trail.  The more people who succeed that same way just make the trail more clear, the path easier to follow.  Success always leaves a trail.  Everywhere in life.

When I wanted to write a book, I knew I could stumble through… and maybe I would succeed.

Or maybe I would fail.

An easy way to fail?  Never figuring out how to start.  Never writing.  That would certainly keep me from writing a book.  But there were lots of other ways to fail at it.

Or… I could talk to others who had done it.

Success leaves a trail.

Corey Poirier is a professional speaker.  But he has another distinction.  He has interviewed over 5000 high-achievers.  And over time, he noticed some common traits of high-achievers.

I had a chance to interview Corey… while he was getting rushed out of his hotel room!  The life of a speaker!

Anyway, in our interview, Corey shared the 5 top traits of high-achievers.  These traits are not just about business (although they apply there).  They are also about life!

Listen below.

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