Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

Does everything happen for a reason?In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, “Everything happens for a reason.”

That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments.

But deeper than that, is it even true?

Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand.

Sometimes, we want to think that there is something behind it — not just some random event.  But what does that phrase mean?  Does it mean that some force is trying to teach some lesson?

For many people, the answer is yes.

But does that make it so?

Does everything happen for a reason? Given all that is going on these days, this question seems particularly important.

Let’s chat. . .

RELATED RESOURCES:
Moving Through Grief
Living The Big Stuff with Kristine Carlson

Life Has Challenges

Immutable Law of Living:  Life Has Challenges.  The challenges and struggles are inevitable.  How you respond and react, that is up to you.Last week, I discussed the fact that life isn’t fair.  That is the first immutable law of living.  Because when you struggle against it, trying to make life fair, you lose.  When you accept life isn’t fair, you shift.  Life isn’t about fairness.

In fact, one of the reasons we believe life isn’t fair is because tough things happen in life.  Challenges and tragedies strike.  We believe these are anomalies, things that shouldn’t happen.  So we start struggling against those challenges.

Which leads us to the second Immutable Law of Living:  Life Has Challenges.  No way around it.  Challenges come our way.

We have no choice about the challenges.  We do have a choice on what we do when the challenge comes our way.  We can protest that “this shouldn’t be happening,” even continuing that “this isn’t fair.”  And yet, those things still come our way.

How do we respond, then, to the challenges that come our way?

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair

Life Isn’t Fair

Immutable Law of Living:  Life Isn't Fair.  That's not the point.If you follow my marriage podcast, you know I am in the midst of a series on the “Immutable Laws of Marriage.”  These “laws” are violated at the expense of the relationship.  There are also Immutable Laws of Living.  And this week, we start looking at those laws.

No, you won’t be in legal trouble if you violate these laws.  You will be in thriving trouble, though.  These are laws that help us to thrive, if we abide by them.  And these laws hold us back, if we push against them.

The first “law” is also a cry I hear from many people, “Life isn’t fair!”  Indeed, it is not.  And that is not the point of life.  Life is not about “fair” or “unfair.”  People cry out about the unfairness of life, hoping that will change things, shift things to be fair.  That shift doesn’t happen.

But instead of shifting views, people continue to proclaim and protest, “Life Isn’t Fair.”

They are correct, and that is OK.  Here’s how to abide by this law.