Have you noticed that story you are telling yourself (and others) that is running through your mind? It is the one about why you did (or didn’t do) what you did (or didn’t do). You are trying to explain yourself — to yourself and others.
You are Self-Splaining.
And it is a story. Not necessarily a lie. But also not necessarily the truth.
Humans are story tellers and meaning makers. The stories we tell are to make meaning. It helps the world to make sense, and helps us give reasons for what we did.
And it can keep you stuck.
Your self-splaining keeps you stuck because it “helps” you to make your actions/inactions reasonable (to yourself). Reasonable, as in “Able to Reason.” You can give a reason. One that makes sense to you… even if not to anyone else. You can just keep telling yourself “why” — self-splaining.
In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss how we self-splain, why that can get you stuck, and what to do to get un-stuck.
RELATED RESOURCES
Paradigms
Stuck and Unstuck
Reasons
Responsibility
My Books on Thriving
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It was interesting to see how much my client seemed to relish her self-diagnosed “issue” when she smilingly told me, “I’m a bit of a control freak. I just want things my way. Mostly because I know how they should be.”
Oh, if only we could control things. Everything. Wouldn’t that be nice? Finally, a chance to change the outcome, keep your loved ones safe, rid the world of injustice….