From the Projects to Ping Pong

Wally Green, world class table tennisHow does a young man from the projects end up playing table tennis in North Korea… on a diplomacy mission?

How he ended up there is not much different than how Wally Green ended up in Germany, becoming a world-class ping pong player, after leaving his gang past behind.

I “met” Wally on a Zoom call with lots of others and knew I needed to have him on Thriveology.  I wanted to talk with him because he had a  handle on thriving.  Not because he was making life look easy.  But because he was taking life on.

As a child, Wally was faced with domestic violence at home and gang violence outside.  Even though he threw himself into sports as an escape, he didn’t escape gang life.  As he noted, it was a matter of survival.

But guess was really saved Wally’s life?  Table tennis.

How did he get there?  Because he broke a stolen pool cue.  And he took out his frustration on someone playing table tennis.  One thing led to another… and there he was in North Korea.

Really, Wally is the one who needs to tell the story.  And he does, as I interview him in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  You can listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Wally Green’s Website
Your Resilience Muscle
Damaged, Resilient, or Thriving?

 

Is Your Mind Set?

Is your mind set?  Growth and fixed mindset, and how to change yours.I’m not an athlete, I told myself.  I was the last chosen for teams pretty much every time.  And more often than not, admittedly, I dropped the ball or didn’t run fast enough.  So I lived up to the low expectations of being a teammate.

That kept me believing that I was not an athlete.  And so, I never tried to be athletic.

Years later, when I was recovering from being sick, I decided I needed to get into shape.  I was motivated by a scuba class when I realized how out of shape I was.  I dragged myself into the weight room, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself in class.  I took to the pool for the same reason.

And I slowly got into shape.  Which led to a friend asking if I wanted to adventure race.  Why not?  I might as well, I reasoned.  Then, I trained and completed a trail marathon.  And ran quite a few 5k’s.  Not an athlete, though.

Then, at a conference, someone told me she wanted to write a book, but she “wasn’t a writer.”  I asked what she was doing.  She wrote every single day.  And she had lots of pieces put together for her future book.  But, she “wasn’t a writer.”

I noted to her that writers do one thing.  They write.  She was writing, ergo she was a writer!

Then I went for a run.  And thought about that discussion.  Runners are athletes.  Runners run.  I was running.  Ergo, I was a runner… and maybe an athlete?

My mindset had tripped me up.  I had myself in a fixed mindset.  And to get to a better place, I needed to shift to a growth mindset.

In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss Dr. Carol Dweck’s concept of growth and fixed mindsets from her book, Mindset.  A fixed mindset keeps us stuck.  But a growth mindset always gives room for growth and change.

Listen in to discover where your mindset is stuck… and how to shift it to growth.

RELATED RESOURCES
Mindset Book
Your Different “Can’ts”
What I Learned From Jiu Jitsu
Link To My Books On Thriving

Getting Unstuck Intro

How we get stuck.  And how we get un-stuck.During my career as a therapist, person after person came to figure out why they were stuck.  As I transitioned to coaching, I realized my focus was on how to get unstuck.

How we get stuck is merely a starting point.  The real task is how to get un-stuck and moving toward our aspirations.

When we are stuck, we can’t be thriving.  But the process of getting unstuck is also the process of thriving.

I believe that we all have the capacity of being un-stuck, regardless of circumstances and situations.

How you are stuck is similar for all of us.  What you do when you are un-stuck, that can vary greatly.  But the process of getting unstuck is the same.

Today, listen in as I tell you how Bill got stuck.

If this strikes a cord in you, please share this episode with the social sharing buttons below, and consider giving a review of the podcast in iTunes or in Stitcher.

Let’s thrive!

What Thriving People Know About Gratitude And Appreciation

What Thrivers Know About Gratitude And AppreciationSome people seem to just know how to thrive.  For the rest of us, we need to learn the skills of thriving.

Today, we discuss one skill easily learned, with incredible impact.  And it is one I work to incorporate into my life.

Thrivers practice gratitude and appreciation.

Gratitude is the attitude and mindset of noticing what is right, what is enough, and what is in abundance in our lives.  You see, our brains naturally look at the world through scarcity — “I don’t have enough.”  But there is another mode, one that switches the brain to love — Gratitude!

When we focus upon and look for the pieces of life for which to be grateful, our brain begins to switch modes.  It re-wires to look for more evidence of abundance.  And when we show appreciation, we carve out stronger bonds with those around us.

Practicing gratitude leaves you more satisfied and happy, healthier, better connected, less depressed, and less anxious.

And you can practice gratitude in just a few minutes each day!

Learn how in this week’s podcast.

How Big is Your BUT?: #35 Thriveology Podcast

How Big Is Your BUT?I know.  It’s a personal question.  How BIG is your BUT?

Oh, just to clarify, I am not talking about anatomy.  I am talking about language.  Words.  In particular, THAT word:  “BUT.”

We say it all the time:  “Blah, blah, BUT, blah blah.”  or “Yes, BUT, blah, blah.”

Two overused and limiting uses of that one word.

I am the first to admit that the word does serve a purpose, AND there are times when it is very appropriate to us it.  BUT the word has the potential for keeping us stuck.  It can rob us of responsibility, initiative, and potentiality.

The power of the word is what happens in our mind.  It negates.  It may serve to negate everything you just said, or it may serve to negate everything the other person just said.

Either way, it can keep you from growing and developing.

DON’T let that one word keep you stuck.

Join me in getting rid of “but” when it serves to limit.

 

 

Why Is It So Hard To Forgive? And How To Do It: Episode 11, Thriveology Podcast

How to forgiveMany of us agree:  forgiveness is a good thing.

Then why do we find it so hard to forgive?  I believe it is because the reasons to forgive (or not forgive) tend to flip in our minds, even when we know better.

There are two very clear and different paradigms for what forgiveness is, and even what is forgivable.  One paradigm keeps us stuck.  The other frees us.

Which paradigm do YOU carry around?

And if you choose to forgive, how do you do it?

In this week’s podcast, I tackle forgiveness and offer a structure on how to forgive.  I also take on some “myths” of forgiveness.

Take a listen and tell me what you think!

Interview with Julie Michaels, Taming the Ego Mind: Episode 10, Thriveology Podcast

TamingEgoMindEver notice how your mind can hold you back, keep you from making the changes you “think” you want to make?  Your mind is sabotaging your progress, whether you know it or not.

Today, I have the honor of talking with Julie Michaels (DreamWithJulie.com ).  Julie is a Master Life Coach, specializing in helping people make permanent shifts to their their dream life — whatever that is!

Julie believes that we all carry an ancient (and yet child-like) mind that is afraid of change.  The fear comes from an inability to see and understand the new reality.  That part of the mind likes to live in a world of same-ness and “known-ness,” not the world of newness and possibility.

At the same time, there are methods and technologies that can help get you there.  Listen in as Julie and I discuss how to make the necessary shift.

Your Brain & Thriving: Thriveology Podcast Episode 2

Did you know you have 3 brains in your head?  And there seems to be some disagreement on who is in charge.

Does your lizard, your mammal, or your human brain run your life?  You may be surprised to discover just who is in charge — and why that makes it a challenge to thrive!

In spite of your brain, you can learn to set fear aside and learn to thrive.

Join me for this podcast, as we explore the role your brain plays in your thriving life!