thoughts and emotions

I was at a book signing a while back, signing a book of mine that is a few years old. This person picked it up, looked at the publication date, put it down, and said, “I was looking for something more recent.”

That had me pondering… how long is information valid? Sure, I would not likely want to read a computer book about the Windows 98 operating system, or about the coming “Y2K crisis.” But what about transformational information? When does that lose value?

Human brains have not changed in structure for millenia. Which is why we still garner insight and understanding from books written millenia ago. Ancient thoughts and texts still illuminate us these days.

Which brings me to my guest this week on the Thriveology Podcast. I asked Donald Robertson to talk with me about some pretty old thoughts. No, Donald is not millenia old. But the philosophy he espouses and teaches is. Donald is a modern Stoic philosopher, drawing on ancient Stoicism and what it offers to us in our current world.

And in our current pandemic situation, Stoic thought has LOTS to teach us. In fact, Stoic thought is the underlying philosophy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the cornerstone of modern mental health counseling.

Donald discusses the relevance of Stoic philosophy in today’s world, and how we can apply it to the pandemic in which we find ourselves. Listen in as Donald Robertson gives some powerful help in dealing with our thoughts and our emotions in the midst of today’s (and future) struggles.

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Self-compassion is more important than self-confidence or self-esteem in having a thriving life. So much press on self-esteem. And so little evidence that self-esteem predicts success or mental health. A higher-than-average level of self-esteem is, however, associated with juvenile delinquency and narcissism.

Then why do we find schools, parents, and other organizations focused on building self-esteem in ourselves and our children?

There is something else that has been demonstrated to help with mental health and well-being. That “something else” is self-compassion.

When things are tough, do you give yourself a break? Not “let yourself off the hook,” but remind yourself that you are doing the best you can?

My guess is you have the same thing in your mind that I do: a critical voice that is happy to point out my shortcomings and foibles. You might even listen to the same critical voice that you would tell a friend to ignore.

Self-compassion is about understanding that you (and others) do the best you (and they) can do, given current state-of-mind and situations. Instead of listening to the critical voice, how about the loving voice that knows you are, like it or not, human. And that you are trying.

This is not about saying “I have no need to change, here I am.” But it is about saying, “here I am, and I need to accept that. I need to give myself a break!”

Learn about self-compassion — what it is and how to extend it to yourself.

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Thinking Through The Pandemic

Why Self-Compassion Is More Important Than Self-Confidence