stop worrying

6 Truths About Worry

June 22, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

How much do you worry? How often do you find yourself thinking about things that could go wrong? Things that might happen to those you love? Things that might happen to you?

Worry is a common issue for people. And sadly, worry robs us of living. It costs us lots of energy, and exposes us to fears over possible events — not actual events.

When we worry, we focus on the future, what could happen. Which draws us away from what is happening. What is happening in this moment, in actuality.

Unfortunately, for many, worry is a habit. It happens almost automatically. Worry robs people of sleep, of connection, and of presence. Many people struggle to get to sleep, worried about what might happen. Many people connect less, since they are worried about what might happen. And people are less present, since they are focused on what might happen.

There are some truths to worry that we need to understand, if we are going to turn down the “worry dial.” These truths point to why people worry, why it is a waste, and how to begin shifting away from worry.

Listen below. And in the next episode, I will share some strategies for worrying less.

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Embracing “We’ll See”

December 3, 2018 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

EmbraceWellSee For me, “We’ll See” was my philosophy of survival when I was sick.

The doctor gave me a diagnosis with a bad prognosis. Lots of ways I could be sick and die. Lots of ways my body could betray me.

Oh, and this was 15 years ago. WebMD was the “go-to” for facts on how we would die from any symptom or condition. So, family and friends let me know all the ways my body could fail me, based on my diagnosis. And shared the facts in excrutiating detail.

I was not in denial. I simply knew that there were many ways things COULD go wrong. But that meant little on how things WOULD go wrong.

It was overwhelming to face the “could’s.” I had only space to deal with the “would’s.”

So, I took to a single response, “We’ll see.” For a bit, the tone and volume would go up. Until the person realized that “We’ll see” was where I was standing.

I find it most helpful to deal with things as they happen, not trying to figure out all the many things that might happen.

This is something I suggest for all of us. So many things we could worry about. Or we could just use the energy to deal with what is. What becomes. What happens.

Embrace “We’ll See.” I discuss it in this episode of the podcast.

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Why We Worry (And How To Stop!)

May 4, 2015 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

We worry. In spite of songs telling us, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” we still wake up in a cold sweat.

Or maybe you find yourself sitting at your desk, fretting about what might go wrong at home, at work, or anywhere else in life.

And if you have kids. . . don’t get me started! From the time they are born until, well, the rest of our lives, we can spend our time worrying.

But do we have to?

Or is it just a very bad habit?

Perhaps we have made a mistake. Have you mistakenly believed that worrying was the same as caring? That if you cared for someone, you needed to worry? Worry becomes an expression of care.

But does that have to be?

Let me just suggest that worry is more habit than necessity. Sure, those worry lines may still form. But what if you could reduce the amount of worry? What if you could even decide when and how worry can be productive, and learn to let the rest go?

Let me challenge you to give me a listen, then try my approach, and then decide if it is possible to reduce or stop your worrying.

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