self growth

Is Micro-Quitting Keeping You from Thriving?

June 27, 2022 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Do you micro-quit? I sure do. And I need to quit micro-quitting! Maybe you do, too.

It undermines my goals (and likely, your goals too). And it keeps you from thriving.

What is micro-quitting? Well, if you quit something (an activity, a job, a sport, a hobby, etc.), you stop doing it. You step away from it.

But when you micro-quit, you don’t follow through on the smaller building blocks of the bigger thing. You don’t quit. But you chip away at that bigger thing.

For example, you are exercising. Maybe you like to. Maybe you want to be in better shape. But either way, you have decided to exercise.

You set your alarm for an early workout. It goes off. You decide to hit the snooze button and do a shorter session. Or you give up on that next set of reps. Even though it was in your plan… and it was your intention to do it. You don’t. You micro-quit on that plan, on that action.

And in the process, you may be undermining your goals. A little at a time, a micro-quit at a time.

It might just be keeping you and me from thriving!

I discuss micro-quitting (and how to micro-commit) in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast. Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Your Fierce Life
The Habits Series
Taking on Discomfort

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Controlling What You Can

January 10, 2022 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Many people make the Control Error — they attempt to control what they cannot control, while also failing to control what they can.

Why?

Because they don’t know what they can’t control and they don’t know what they can control.

Humans have a desire to feel like they are “in control” of their lives. Most people hate feeling out of control. And yet, by making the Control Error, they constantly feel out of control (and work harder to control… what they cannot control).

Thriving is tough when you feel out of control. And it is even more difficult when you are not controlling the areas you can control.

There is a code to thriving. Think of it as the computer code behind all the things your computer programs can do. The basic assumptions and directions come from the underlying code. It allows the tasks to happen.

Similarly, there is an underlying code to thriving. If the code is working, daily tasks and living go much better. You thrive in your life.

One element of that Thrive Code, we discussed in the last episode: Challenge. In this episode,we take on the second element of the Thrive Code: Control. More importantly, it is about controlling what you can control, while releasing yourself from what you cannot control.

Listen to the episode below.

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From “If” to “Is”

March 29, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

At the beginning of my career, I was a hospital chaplain. One of my tasks was to help people accept what was going on… to accept the diagnosis, the outcome of an accident or tragedy, to accept the changes. Interestingly, many times, it seemed that those wanting the person to “accept” were really looking for resignation. Kind of giving up.

I think our understanding of acceptance has expanded since then. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

You see, we all want some “alternate reality,” some different space where things didn’t, aren’t, or won’t happen. Where we get to choose to undo/redo, or not do what we don’t like. The alternate reality where things happened or happen or will happen differently.

Except they don’t. They happened as they did. They are happening as they are. And they will happen as they will.

Yes, we have some control about what we do in this moment, and what we will do to move toward the next. But not enough to create our alternate reality where we get to choose everything (we do get to choose our own response, though).

There are 3 “If’s” we play out in our mind. One shift matters, if we want to thrive. The shift to “Is.”

I unpack what that is about and talk about how we can make the shift in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

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The Art of Undoing

December 7, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you ever arrived at that spot in life…the place you were pushing to be…only to look around and realize it was not what you thought it would be? In fact, it isn’t even what you want?

Maybe that dream job, relationship, or status, really wasn’t the dream, after all. Even if you worked hard to get there. Even if you sacrificed to get there.

Do you stay? Or do you step back and undo?

Market researchers talk about the “sunk cost fallacy.” A “sunk cost” is the amount you have already paid or invested in something, whether time or resources. It is already gone. Already “sunk” (thus the name). The fallacy part is the tendency for people to keep pushing ahead, sticking with something because of the sunk cost. You hold onto a stock because you invested in it…even as the price plummets. Instead of leaving a losing game, you stay in because of what you have already lost.

We do it every day.

My guest in this episode is Erika Gerdes. She dreamed of working at Google. But the thought was intimidating enough that she never applied. But she ended up there, anyway, after answering an anonymous Craigs List ad. And there she stayed for 13 years.

Along the way, though, she discovered that her “dream job” was not fulfilling her dream. So, she finally left…at the height of her career…and became an Authenticity Advocate. She found her voice in helping others find their voice, her calling in helping others discover their calling.

What she discovered is that sometimes, you have to UN-do things to do things you want to do. You have to practice the art of undoing.

We discuss Undoing, Authenticity, Courage, Mission, and more during our conversation. Listen in below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Erika’s Website (with free resources)
MPI Triangle
From Fear to Courage

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7 Ways to Worry Less

June 29, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Is worry robbing you of living? Are you putting more energy into worry thoughts than you want to, leaving you less energy for where you want to spend your thoughts (and your life)?

Most people do. Worry is an aimless attempt to locate threats and mitigate them. Why aimless? Because worry can shift from topic to topic, issue to issue, person to person, without action or direction.

In the last Thriveology Podcast episode, I noted 6 truths about worrying. This was to provide a background understanding for taking action. Action to reduce your worry. Which, as promised, is the topic of this episode.

I cover 7 strategies that will help you reduce your worry (and wasted worry energy) and let you make a mental shift to more helpful thoughts.

If you worry, this episode is for you. If you worry that you worry too much, this episode is definitely for you! Tune in to learn how to reduce your worries — and deal with worries as they pop up.

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How To Accept AND Excel

May 29, 2017 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

In my latest book, Thrive Principles, one of my strategies is Accepting What Is. Which has caused some readers to wonder how that fits into my ideas about constantly growing and changing.

They are not mutually opposed. Accepting What Is creates a beginning point, a starting line. From there, you can move toward who you want to be. You can build a life of meaning and purpose.

Many people struggle with where they are. But where we are is just that, our current spot. Not a permanent place, but a starting point.

This week, I discuss how to both Accept What Is AND plot a growth course to become the person you want to be. Make your impact with both sides of the equation.

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