how to be happy

Contribution

January 24, 2022 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

When I talk about Thriveology, many people say, “Oh, that is more of that ‘being happy’ stuff, isn’t it?”

My response: No. Well, not just that. Sure, being happy is fine. No need to avoid being happy! But that is only one dimension of life.

It IS the dimension of life that hedonism celebrates and pursues. If it feels good, do it. Enjoy life. Have a good time. Seek out pleasure and avoid pain.

Except that doesn’t lead much to thriving. It posits your satisfaction with life externally to you. It is THAT thing that makes you happy, brings you pleasure, makes life worthwhile.

Eudaimonia was the counterpoint in greek thought. This is the pursuit of life satisfaction by what things mean to you internally. It is how you bring meaning, enjoyment, and satisfaction into your life from within.

And there is a cornerstone of that: Contribution. What we GIVE to the world, versus what we GET from the world. Giving versus Taking.

Research has long pointed out the power of giving and contributing to the mental health, wellbeing, meaning/purpose, and satisfaction of people to their lives. Which is why it is part of The Thrive Code.

Listen below to learn why contribution matters and some principles of doing it.

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Happiness Is A Constant Reset

March 9, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Happiness is a funny thing, isn’t it? One day, it’s right there… right in front of you. Then, just as quickly… it’s gone. Why is it so hard to hold onto happiness?

Maybe more importantly, is there a way to shift into happiness, nearly at will?

I am always concerned about how lightly we take happiness. Our culture makes it THE goal, and not a part of your goal. But worse, happiness often ends up being about waiting for something to happen. Notice: HAPPy and HAPPen. Same root. It is about something out there happening to make you happy.

My guest this week, Michaela Renee Johnson, believes that happiness is really about making constant resets. It is about looking for and finding the points of happiness… not waiting for them to just happen.

After an unorthodox childhood (based on family necessity), Michaela became something of a free-spirit wanderer. She finally found her way to her calling as a psychotherapist… and spends her time helping others “speak their truth with grace and live a courageous life of authenticity.” Something she did, herself.

Listen below on how to find happiness through constant reset.

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The Power of Expectations

December 2, 2019 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

What do you expect from life? Sometimes, our expectations can get us into trouble. Maybe you expect things to go badly. Or maybe you expect something beyond your control. Either way, your expectations trip you up.

Yet every action you take is based on expectation. Sure, you want to “live in the present moment.” But present moments are often moving toward something. For example, as I sit here, I write this with an expectation that you will read it. If I expected it would not be read, I would do something else.

Or lets say I go to the fridge to open it. I didn’t blindly do that. I was expecting to find something to eat (which may or may not work out… but I have an expectation).

Some people advise us to give up expectations. No expectation, no disappointment, they say.

But today, my guest disagrees. He says expectations have power. We need to tap into our expectations in order to create the life we want.

Art Costello is creator of Expectation Therapy. He says your life changes when you change your expectation. It is the seed from which we both perceive the world and grow into our better lives.

Listen in to master the power of your expectations.

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Generating Happiness

October 21, 2019 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you been to the Self-Help area of a bookstore lately? We are awash with books on happiness. There are lots of articles on happiness. And lots of trainings and courses on happiness. Heck, I have even addressed it many times before.

So, why aren’t we happy? Why haven’t we made a shift, as a culture, to higher levels of happiness?

Many times, people keep looking “out there” for what will finally make them happy. Something needs to “happen” to make them “happy.”

Maybe… just maybe… we are looking in the wrong place. In the wrong direction. We are looking “out there,” when the potential has been “in here” the whole time.

She calls herself “the Happiness Generator” and in this episode, Amy Huentelman discusses how you can generate happiness… from the inside! By getting out of your head and into your deeper self. Your True Self.

And not by waiting for something to shift “out there,” but how to make the shift “from within.”

If you want some help in making that shift, and in learning how to generate happiness, listen in to this episode.

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Living Your Engagement

March 18, 2019 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Over the last 2 episodes, we have been talking about YOUR Engaged Life. How to build a life of passion, purpose, and presence.

Amplifying that life through gratitude, spirituality, and awe.

Here’s the thing… not to be a downer here… you and I, we are going to die. Someday.

Likely, you don’t know when that will happen. I don’t know when I will die. I just know that it is in my future.

Why does that matter?

That very fact is what makes life valuable, makes TIME valuable. If you live forever, what you do today doesn’t matter so much. You could do it tomorrow or next year, or in a hundred years.

But knowing we only have so much time… that changes things. We have 2 tasks: to live as fully as we can, in the time we have… and make that time last as long as possible.

At least, that is MY task. How can I live fully? And how can I live fully?

If you are thinking that might be YOUR task, listen in to the podcast below.

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It’s Not About Happiness

September 5, 2016 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. 4 Comments

OK, before you kick me to the curb and tell me you want to be happy, hear me out. I don’t want you to be miserable. But I also don’t think life is simply about being happy.

In fact, that assumption is often what leads people to some pretty bad places of addiction, consumption, debt, unhealthy behavior — and unhappiness.

So many times, people have said to me that they are guaranteed happiness in the Declaration of Independence. I first remind them that they are given the “unalienable right” to the “pursuit of happiness.” Not to be happy.

Second, I point out that our founding fathers did not have the same idea of “happy” that we seem to find in popular culture. Their idea was a bit deeper — and tightly tied to the Greek idea of Eudaemonia, a term that was about living a life of virtue a “Good Life.”

Let me say again, I do not think life is about being unhappy or miserable. But I tend to think the more we chase happiness, the more it eludes us. Because life isn’t really about happiness.

Listen below and let me know what you think!

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
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What Thriving People Know About Thoughts

June 1, 2015 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Thriving people do things differently. But like success, thriving leaves a trail. If you want to thrive more, look at what thriving people are doing, and follow their lead!

So, I have isolated 15 things that thriving people do differently. And each week, we will be examining one of these traits. Ready to thrive more?

Remember, thriving is not binary: you are not either thriving or stagnant. The question is can you thrive more? Can you move toward a more thriving life, and away from stagnation?

Thriving is not about money, success, good looks, or even being happy all of the time. It is about growing toward a greater, more fulfilling life. It is growing into the person you were meant to be.

So, let’s get started.

First up, thrivers understand thoughts for what they are: thoughts.

Listen below to discover what this means, and why it is so important in your life.

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Why Chasing Happiness Chases Happiness Away

May 18, 2015 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you noticed all the books, articles, and stories about increasing your happiness?

Sounds great, doesn’t it?

I am certainly not opposed to happiness. I just think that chasing after happiness only chases happiness away.

Oh, sure, we may feel a few fleeting moments of happiness. Just enough to lure us into the next book or article.

But it doesn’t stay.

Happiness is elusive. At least when you chase after it.

It arrives, though, when you allow it to be the after-effect or side-effect of something else — something that will transform your life, and transform the world.

Seek a life of impact. Go for discovering your purpose. Find your meaning. Happiness will show up.

Learn why in this week’s Thriveology podcast.

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