finding happiness

From “If” to “Is”

March 29, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

At the beginning of my career, I was a hospital chaplain. One of my tasks was to help people accept what was going on… to accept the diagnosis, the outcome of an accident or tragedy, to accept the changes. Interestingly, many times, it seemed that those wanting the person to “accept” were really looking for resignation. Kind of giving up.

I think our understanding of acceptance has expanded since then. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

You see, we all want some “alternate reality,” some different space where things didn’t, aren’t, or won’t happen. Where we get to choose to undo/redo, or not do what we don’t like. The alternate reality where things happened or happen or will happen differently.

Except they don’t. They happened as they did. They are happening as they are. And they will happen as they will.

Yes, we have some control about what we do in this moment, and what we will do to move toward the next. But not enough to create our alternate reality where we get to choose everything (we do get to choose our own response, though).

There are 3 “If’s” we play out in our mind. One shift matters, if we want to thrive. The shift to “Is.”

I unpack what that is about and talk about how we can make the shift in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

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Generating Happiness

October 21, 2019 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you been to the Self-Help area of a bookstore lately? We are awash with books on happiness. There are lots of articles on happiness. And lots of trainings and courses on happiness. Heck, I have even addressed it many times before.

So, why aren’t we happy? Why haven’t we made a shift, as a culture, to higher levels of happiness?

Many times, people keep looking “out there” for what will finally make them happy. Something needs to “happen” to make them “happy.”

Maybe… just maybe… we are looking in the wrong place. In the wrong direction. We are looking “out there,” when the potential has been “in here” the whole time.

She calls herself “the Happiness Generator” and in this episode, Amy Huentelman discusses how you can generate happiness… from the inside! By getting out of your head and into your deeper self. Your True Self.

And not by waiting for something to shift “out there,” but how to make the shift “from within.”

If you want some help in making that shift, and in learning how to generate happiness, listen in to this episode.

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“I’m Just Not Happy” and What To Do About It

November 13, 2017 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Do you ever hear yourself say (or just feel), “I’m just not happy”?

What does it mean? What’s keeping you feeling better? It might be depression. But it might be something else. (If you are concerned about depression, CHECK OUT THESE RESOURCES.)

There are some other reasons for “just not being happy.” In fact, in this week’s podcast (you can listen below), I note 4 different reasons. The good news is there is a path through each one. But you can only follow the path when you identify it.

If you are “just not happy,” take a listen. If you know someone who is “just not happy,” invite them to listen with you!

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My Word for 2015: Present

January 5, 2015 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Last week, I talked about my 1 word resolution.

This week, I want to tell you about my word. See if it applies to you, too!

I often find myself impatient, caught in my thoughts, distracted by something else, or plagued by “What if?”, “If only. . .”, “Why?”, “When. . .”, or “I should. . . .”

Oh, I know better. But I still fall into those traps. I let those thoughts PULL me away from the present moment.

But I also know this:

This moment is all we have. Be in it!

This moment passes. Just like yesterday passed. The next moment may or may not come.

Yet, we live much of our lives in thoughts of what happened, and fears of what might come. Our thoughts of “what happened” are really our perceptions of what happened. Our fears about what might come are not preparations — they are just fears.

We all exist in the present, between what was and what will be. But we live in the only two time-frames of which we have no control. We can’t change what happened, and we can’t know what will happen.

Which brings me to my word: Present.

My task this year: to be more present. To be less distracted. To live in the moment I am in. . . as much as possible.

When I fail? That’s OK. That moment passes, and I have a new opportunity to live in the present.

How about you? Will you join me in the present?

Listen in as I admit my growing edge, and tell you how I will be more present.

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