coping with covid

Growth Mindset In The Pandemic

April 19, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

2020. ¯\_(?)_/¯ Am I right? And we just keep stretching on into 2021. The pandemic isn’t over, the virus isn’t gone. And here we still are.

Thriving?

Stuck?

Research psychologist, Carol Dweck, says that there are two mindsets we can have: fixed and growth.

In the fixed mindset, we think we are just the way we are. Our personalities and skills are just a part of who we are. “A natural athlete/writer/salesman/comedian,” or whatever else. We just are born with those skills… or personalities.

In a growth mindset, we can learn… grow and change. We can get better in something we want to improve. No, that doesn’t mean that anyone can be a world-class athlete. But if I want to improve my abilities, I can. If I want to shoot better free-throws, I can practice. If I want to improve my writing, I can practice. I can get better through, learning, effort, and practice.

It seems obvious when we look at it that way, but many of us accidentally fall into a fixed mindset, both of ourselves and others. Experts change their recommendations, and we can either see that as a failure on their part, “wishy-washy” and up to no good. Or we can see that they, too, are learning and sharing from what they are learning. Fixed or growth.

And we can also look at how we, ourselves, are learning to shift, pivot, alter, and change our lives in the face of a pandemic. When we get back to normal, it won’t be the normal of December 2020. It will be different. How will we shift?

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What A Year!

March 9, 2021 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

What a year! It was one year ago this week that I was on my last business trip. I was at an event with my publisher. Already, we knew COVID was out, and knew it was gaining steam. Other countries had already gone into lockdown… and the US was on the precipice.

While I was away, my wife and I were coordinating with our adult children, trying to make sure we could get them to our home before travel was locked down. That weekend, both came home.

We thought it might be a number of weeks. They were thinking two to three. I was thinking a month or a bit more.

That ended up being months on end. They spent more of 2020 in our home than in their own places.

The economy screeched to a halt, trips were canceled, schools were closed. And our medical system started to strain, faltering under the weight of one illness closing off some areas, while filling others.

It seemed like every day, there was some new shift, new discovery, new point of vulnerability. And in its wake, we, as a country and a world, strained to cope. The grief poured out in anger and despair. Some continued their grief in the world of denial.

And still, the numbers climbed. Families lost loved ones. Spouses lost partners. The world lost citizens. To the point that we could no longer truly comprehend the numbers. Some people recalculated by throwing caution to the wind. Others recalibrated to a life in isolation, hoping that was safe.

One year later. What a year!

Oh, and it isn’t over! Although there are plenty of places and people trying to move on, we are still in the midst of a crisis. While there is a place, in the not-so-distant future, where we get back to a life much more similar to a bit more than a year ago, we aren’t there yet.

And we are also now seeing that the pandemic will not end equally. It hasn’t impacted citizens equally, and the end will come just as unequally. But it will come. How do we get there? I hope together, and I hope a bit wiser.

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I think about the shifts and impacts of this past year.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Coping with COVID Series
Finding or Building Hope
Moving Through Grief

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“I’m Feeling a Little Acedic”

September 7, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Six months. That is how far we are into the pandemic… at least in the US. Yes, I know. There were cases before then. But March marks the start of the social effects of pandemic. Lock down. Restrictions. Social distance. Six months.

And many people are feeling the effects! I would go so far as to saying most, but plenty would contact me to tell me that they are not.

If you are feeling the effects, I am speaking to you. Do you find yourself just… listless? Out of sorts? Lost in things to do, but not getting them done?

That feeling you are having is not a new one, just from the pandemic. It dates back to the ancient Greeks. It was an idea that Christian writers discussed as the distraction of monks and others. In fact, it was a thought process Christian writers warned against, as it can spiral.

And here we sit, 1/2 of a year into feeling the effects of a pandemic. And many people are feeling just a bit… acedic. The term for this feeling was Acedia. That listless, not caring, ought-to-be-doing-something restlessness, where nothing actually gets done.

Is that the feeling you have?

It is perfectly normal… which is different than saying it is helpful. So while it is no surpirse you are feeling it, let’s talk about the acedia antidote.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Coping with Covid Series
Hope During These Days
LeeBaucom.com
My Book Page

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What Stage Are You In? – Pandemic Grief

June 1, 2020 by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Have you ever had the experience of a doctor telling you what was wrong with you, and even if you couldn’t really do anything, it helped to know what it was? Maybe it was just an ache or pain, a small illness. Just having a name for it — even some fancy latin term (or maybe especially some latin term) — somehow makes it seem better. Naming something helps us feel some control.

This pandemic has stripped us of many feelings of control. It more often feels like life is disrupted and dangerous. Early in the pandemic — but far enough in that it was clear we were headed down a long path — I was wondering why it took me so long to process that we were in for a long-haul… with implications for every segment of life. Why had I “missed” the signs?

Denial. That is what I realized. I had been playing the denial game.

Which reminded me that I was experiencing a grief response. I was in grief! From the pandemic. Well, the pandemic losses and impact.

Over the next few weeks, as I talked with individuals and organizations, I noticed that we were all in collective grief, as well as experiencing the individual grief. And as the pandemic has continued, I have noticed that people are experiencing the different stages of grief at different times. That very fact seems to be at the root of much of the struggles I see played out on social media and regular media. Clashing stages.

Still, stages. Grief comes in stages. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross noted 5 stages. Her colleague, David Kessler, has more recently added a potential 6th stage (an aspirational stage for many). The point of describing the stages is not so much to force people on through the stages. It is more for being able to name the stage for what it is. The capacity of looking at where you are and naming the stage gives a sense of control. And when we have some sense of control, we can choose whether we are where we want to be, or if we would rather shift. The shift becomes an option.

Or we can just name the stage and know that is what we are experiencing.

What stage of grief are you in? I discuss the 5+1 stages in this week’s episode of the Thriveology Podcast. Listen below.

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