Rules For Living Series

What Are The Rules For Living?Do you have any “rules for living”? Thoughts or ideas that you follow as guidelines for living? Maybe you don’t always follow them… but you intend to. You treat them like rules. They aren’t really “laws,” concepts you MUST follow, or you find yourself in trouble. (See my Immutable Laws for Living book for these.)

Rules just make life easier. They keep you moving forward, in the direction you want.

If you have some, great! See how they compare to my 10 rules.

If you don’t have rules, consider trying out my 10 rules.

Below are links to trainings on each of the 10 rules for living.

RULES OF LIVING SERIES
#1 Let Fear Point, Not Direct
#2 Be Present In The  Present
#3 Accept the Past and Revise the Future
#4 Grieve Losses and Celebrate Gains
#5 Forgive to Live
#6 Listen to Your Higher Self
#7 Teach Others How to Treat You
#8 Control What You Can; Release The Rest
#9 Do Your Part and Wait for the Moment
#10 Live Each Day As THE Day

Beyond Apology

BeyondApologyYou apologize.  Now what?

Are you finished?  Is it now up to the person to whom you apologized?

Nope.  That is only one part of the process.

Understand that apologies, forgiving, reconciliation, and trust are all separate functions.  Each is tied to the other, but independent.  Forgiving does not require an apology.  An apology does not mandate forgiveness.  You can apologize or forgive, and still not reconcile.  And in the end, it is a choice to trust or not.

So, let’s step back into what you can do, so that you can “clear the air” and move forward.  In other words, to make sure you do your part.

I suggest 6 steps to this process, and I cover each one in this episode of the podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Anatomy Of An Apology
Forgive Resources
Making Change
Limiting Beliefs
Responsibility
The Forgive Process

Weathering The Storms Of Life

WeatherStormsLifeLife can really dish it out, can’t it?

A sunny (metaphorically speaking) day suddenly gathers rain clouds.  And then, the storm (metaphorically speaking) hits!

As I recorded this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, people were still trying to dry out from Hurricane Florence.  I had family in the path, so I had a vested interest in following it closely.

Which reminded me of those other “storms of life,” when something hits you… illness, loss, change… things you were not wanting or expecting.  They hit, though.  Sometimes, with some warning.  But sometimes, “out of the blue.”

What do you do?  How do you weather those storms of life?

Because, guess what?  They WILL hit.  Not if they hit.  But when.  What do you do?

I talk about some strategies for weathering life’ storms in this week’s podcast episode.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Dealing With Loss
Live Each Day As THE Day
Control What You Can
Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

The Forgive Process Book

Free of Fear Series

The Other Side of Fear.Fear is an unavoidable part of life.  The question is whether fear rules your life, or is just a part of life.  Your brain is built for fear — it is attempting to look for all the threats possible… and does a better-than-helpful job at that!

There is no way to be “fearless.”  But you CAN have less fear.  And you can decide how to act, regardless of fear (not because of fear or even in spite of fear, but regardless).

My podcast episodes on dealing with fear can help you decide how to live, regardless of fear in your life.

Here are the links to the episodes:

The Other Side Of Fear

3 Myths of Fear

4 Steps to Taming Your Fear

Worry Less, Live More

2 Magic Questions To Live Beyond Fear

3 Ways Fear Keeps You Stuck

Fear Life or Fierce Life?

Beliefs, Behavior, and A Fierce Life

 

 

The Habits Series

You become your habits.How much of your life is ruled by habits?  10%?  25%?  50%?  100%

Well, according to researchers, somewhere between 40 and 95% of life is attributable to habit.  Lots of times, we think we are making a choice… but we are repeating our prior choice, over and over again.  That would be a habit.

Our lives are ruled by habit, from the time we get up until the time we go to bed… especially when we get up and go to bed!

Which means that if we want to change our lives, we have to change our habits.  Either breaking a habit or making a habit.  Something has to shift for there to be a change.

Which is why I created the series on habits.  You can access each of the 6 episodes below.

Habit Series:
You Become Your Habits

Habit Sticking

Habiting Your Goals

LinchPin Habits

Thought Habits

Evolutionary Habits, Revolutionary Habits

Change Your Life Using SSC

StartStopContinueHave you heard of Kaizen?  It is the principle of continuous improvement.

Continuous improvement is a great model for change.  It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome.  No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary).  Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement.

That “something”?  It might be a product (like Japanese automobiles, where Kaizen became the method of them becoming excellent automobiles), companies, or even individuals.

But how, you might wonder, do you actually DO that continuous improvement?

Let me offer a super-simple tool that you can apply to your own life, to your company or workplace, or even to a relationship or organization.

SSC – Start, Stop, Continue

Three benchmarks:  What do you need to Start?  What do you need to Stop?  What do you need to Continue?

In this week’s episode, I discuss how to apply SSC to your own life… and to other areas in your life.

Listen in for a new tool.

RELATED RESOURCES
Dealing with Change
Why We Avoid Change
Paradigms
Limiting Beliefs

Are You Bending Your Map?

BendingTheMapDid you know that it is common to find a lost person with a broken compass?  No, they are not lost because their compass was broken.  They broke their compass because they didn’t believe the compass.  They believed they were somewhere other than where the compass said.  And many times, they decided that the map they were using was also wrong… and they were right.

Survival experts refer to this as “bending the map.”  They are trying to force their map to match what they perceive, rather than letting the map inform their understanding of where they are.

Guess what?  It doesn’t just happen in survival situations.  We do it every day.  We bend our perceptions to match what we want to see… not what is there to be seen.  And we often find ourselves way off-course.  So far off that we might have just compromised our values.

The good news is there are some simple ways to keep this tendency in check.  This is a skill we desperately need these days.

Listen to this week’s episode to learn how to not bend your map!

RELATED RESOURCES
Raising Standards
Careful of Thoughts
Perspective
Thrive Principles Book

What About Forgiving Yourself?

If you are feeling stuck, consider forgiving yourself.Let’s just assume that you have decided to forgive other people.  You do it (maybe even following my 6 step process).  Things are going well.  You are getting unstuck.

And then… snap!  You are pulled back, stuck.  Feeling bad.

But this time, feeling bad about yourself — your actions, your words, your inactions, or silence.

You know that voice?  The one that starts with “How could you….?”  It reminds you of something you said or did… or something you didn’t do or didn’t say (but should have).

“Why did I do that?? (or didn’t)”, you ask yourself.  And then, you replay the event all over again in your head… just like you have countless times before.

Sometimes, we find it easier to forgive someone else that to forgive ourselves.  We just can’t seem to clear it out, let it go, and release ourselves.

Well, that is the topic of this week’s Thriveology Podcast, just to get you to consider forgiving yourself.  This is NOT about ducking responsibility or denying what happened.  It is about moving beyond that, to something better.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Taking Responsibility
How To Forgive
How To Show Up
Control What You Can
Can’t Change Past

The Forgive Process

Time Affluence / Time Poverty

Do you have Time Affluence or do you suffer from Time Poverty?Have you noticed how we talk about time and money the same way?  You can spend time/money, waste time/money, or save time/money.  But never confuse the two.

Money… we can always make more.  Time… it is passing moment by moment, day by day, not to be recaptured or held.

We all have the same 24 hour days live.  The question is whether you feel like you have some time to “spend” as you want (Time Affluence) or whether all of your time is claimed and out of your control (Time Poverty).

Research repeatedly shows that material purchases (buying stuff) does little to influence our overall happiness (once basic needs are met).  Interestingly, experiential purchases (doing something, going somewhere) has been shown to increase happiness.  But you can’t do stuff and go places when there is no time left to do it.

In a study a couple of years ago, over half the respondents said that they would give up a day of pay each week for a day of freedom each week.

And yet, many times, we “spend” our time in ways that don’t foster time affluence — leading to a feeling of time poverty.

How can we make shifts in life that bring us more Time Affluence?  That is the topic of this week’s Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Time As Precious Resource
Spending Time
Finding Purpose, Making Impact
Life Lessons
The Immutable Laws of Living
Thrive Principles