Control What You CAN Control. . .

Control what you CAN control.We spend lots of time trying to control our Fears, Feelings, and Thoughts.  But, we can’t.  We can decide how long they will keep us stuck, but we just can’t stop them from popping up.  And yet, we spend LOTS of energy trying to avoid them.

Why not spend your time on what you CAN control?

You do have a choice about your Aspirations, Attitude, and Actions.  Focus there.

Let go of the things you can’t control and then choose to control what you CAN control.

Listen below for details.

The Change Matrix – Dealing with Change

Change.  So many times, I hear people say, “I don’t like change.”

But it seems to me that we like change,

  1. when we choose it, and
  2. when we want it.

Over the years, I noticed that change doesn’t always come in the ways we want it, and the time the want it.  Change chooses us, and sometimes challenges us.

That creates the “Change Matrix.”  In my little schema, change falls into four quadrants:

Lee Baucom's Change Matrix

Each quadrant has opportunities and challenges.

Change isn’t optional.  Change comes to us, no matter how much we resist.   Sometimes, we chase it.  Sometimes we avoid it.  But it still comes.  That is the nature of life.

What can YOU do, in the midst of change?

Extend Your 3 Horizons to Thrive

Extend your 3 horizons to really thrive.Sometimes, the horizon can seem to stretch in front of us forever.  Sometimes, it seems that we are smack up against the world.  We can’t see beyond where we are.  We can’t see past our problems and struggles.

Time to extend and expand your horizons.

There are three horizons we can all expand:  our problem horizon, opportunity horizon, and growth horizon.

When we can’t see past our problems, our problem horizon is limited.  At those times, you can believe that there is nothing on the other side of a problem or situation.

Sometimes, we just can’t see any opportunities.  Our opportunity horizon is too small, too close.  There seems to be no options, no possibility, no opportunities.  At the same time, others are seeing an opportunity everywhere.  The difference is their opportunity horizon.

And there are times when we just don’t believe we can grow and change.  Our change horizon is too small.  Maybe you tell yourself that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  But in reality, we are ever-changing and ever-growing.  The question is only on how intentional we can be about that growth.  Do we embrace change or run from it?  Do we see our place of growth, or hide from it?

Learn more about your 3 horizons.  And then learn 5 steps to expanding and extending your horizons.

 

What Thrivers Do: They Grow

Thrivers grow, throughout life, learning from difficulties.Are you growing?  Maybe you feel “all grown up.

But that’s not what I am asking.  Are you “done,” or are you in a process of becoming?

People who thrive continue growing.  It is not about always being happy, but forever growing and developing.

When the goal is “happiness,” we can get stuck.  But when you know the task is to continue to grow, there is always room for that.

Thrivers nurture their curiosity.  That helps them continue to expand their world.  It opens before them.

Thrivers know that, while crises don’t happen in order to teach a lesson, one can still learn the lessons from the struggle.  Growth is all about being open to the lessons.

How’s your Growth Quotient?

 

What Thriving People Know About Accepting What Is

Thrivers Accept What Is.Things happen, and we wish they hadn’t.  Then, we fight against what we think might happen.  And we even fight against where we are right now.

The struggle does nothing to change what is.  In fact, the more we struggle, the less we are able to respond.

The less we are able to respond, the more stagnant we become.

But thriving people know to accept what is.  It becomes the starting point for growth and change.  It becomes the foundation of thriving.

[tweetthis]Acceptance is not giving up. It is the starting point of getting up. – Lee Baucom[/tweetthis]

Listen below for why thrivers accept what is, and how we all can thrive more!

5 Ways To Shift Your Day From Stressful To Restful

Shift from stressful to restful.I was at a workshop yesterday, and was struck with how many people said, “My life/job/relationship is stressful.”

That was a belief I once shared.  Now, I understand that stress is our internal reaction to an external event.

There is nothing inherently stressful to a life or job or situation, except as we experience it as stressful.

In other words, we may be having stressful thoughts about the situation.  But someone else may be experiencing the same thing, but feel free of stress — perhaps even exhilarated.

If, though, you are feeling stressed, and want to make some shifts, I have some ideas to share with you.  Here is the really good part:  nothing I suggest will add to your load.  Most are simple shifts you can make right now, today.  And all have been proven to help you.

These are some things you can do to make your life a bit less stressful — make your life a bit more smooth and restful.  And I promise you, none will require you to make any drastic changes.  No need to quit the job, move to a deserted island.

If you incorporate these simple ideas and strategies, I promise you will see a change in your stress load.  You will have more resources (emotional and energetic) to deal with those issues in your life.

Think of it like a glass of water.  If the water is almost filled up, it only takes a little more to overflow the cup (your life) and make a mess (stress you out).  But if you start the day with half a glass, you have more room for those issues and problems that will inevitably arise — and it won’t overflow your cup (your life) and make a mess (stress you out).

Learn how to keep the glass less full with my 5 simple suggestions to go from stressful to restful.

 

4 Strategies For Moving From Struggle To Thriving: #47 Thriveology Podcast

Move from Struggle To ThrivingEvery person has circumstances that knock them down.

A Japanese proverb says,

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

We can’t stop the circumstances.  They just happen.  You don’t have to seek them out.  They will come.

Illness, job loss, relationships ending, business loss, deaths, and any other life circumstances happen.  That is the nature of life.

A thriving life is not about what happens to you, but how you respond.

Do you grow through the struggles or do you shrink from it?  Do you rise up, or do you stay down?  Do you grow, or do you flee?

Yes, we all have grief from the losses.  No question, we feel the grief.  The question is, what do you do after the grief?  How do you take on the struggles, make them challenges, and learn to triumph?

In today’s podcast, I give you 4 strategies to help you shift from victim to victor, and move from struggle to triumph.

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Damaged, Resilient, or Thriving? #30 Thriveology Podcast

Are you damaged, resilient, or thriving?For a century or so, our culture has become increasingly “psychologized.”  Something bad happens to you, your psyche is injured, and your option is to realize what happened to you.  That is, generally, the topic of therapy:  discovering the roots of your injury.  In fact, perhaps on a bad day, Sigmund Freud said that the goal of therapy was to move from neurosis to common, ordinary, everyday unhappiness.  Not a particularly lofty goal!  This is a deficit model.

More recently, the model of resilience has taught that some fortunate people can have the same injury, but manage to make it back to “normal.”  Somehow, the trauma does not affect them in a negative way.  This is a “break even model.”

There are a small number of voices that have realized that every injury is truly a challenge — an opportunity for growth.  It is possible to take a hurt, pain, tragedy, challenge, or trauma, and use it as a springboard for growth.  This model is the “plus model,” a thriving model.

Which model captures you?  Can you move to (or even more into) a thriving model?  Join me in this week’s podcast to learn about the 3 models and how to move into a thriving model.

Dealing with Roadblocks and Life Knocks: #26 Thriveology Podcast

life roadblocks and how to copeYou can guarantee life will hand you lumps.  You can guarantee there will be roadblocks and tough times.

How will you respond?  Will you believe “this just isn’t meant to be?”  Or will you believe something else is possible?

In this week’s podcast, I share some of my own life struggles and talk about how we can cope better with roadblocks and tough times.

Let’s learn how to thrive better together, and discuss some strategies for dealing with those life challenges.  You CAN face life, even when life seems unfair and challenging.

In fact, a thriving mindset equips you to thrive EVEN BETTER BECAUSE OF the life struggles, not in spite of.

A Life of Regret or A Life Reset?: #24 Thriveology Podcast

A life of regret or a life reset.Regret.  It keeps us locked in the past.  Yet we all struggle to let it go.  Why?

If I had a friend that told me what I tell myself about my past short-fallings, mistakes, and missed opportunities, I would send them away.  I would never speak to them again.

So why do we listen to that voice that keeps reminding us of the past?  Why do we stay trapped by what has happened and can’t be changed?

Or perhaps more importantly, what can we do to make a shift?  How can we go from a life of regret to a life reset?

In this podcast, I explore 5 steps to leave regret behind and make a life reset.

Join me, won’t you?