The Appreciation Approach

Tools to Thrive Series

The Appreciation ApproachYour brain is really only capable of being in one of two modes:  fear/threat or love/appreciation. Unfortunately, the fear/threat mode is pretty much the default and automatic.

Fortunately, changing to manual and shifting to love/appreciation is not complicated.

More than that, there is plenty of research to point to the specific benefits of that shift:

  • Better emotional health,
  • Higher pain tolerance,
  • Higher sociability,
  • Greater life satisfaction,
  • More sleep,
  • More exercise,
  • etc., etc., etc.

There really isn’t much of a downside to gratitude and appreciation.  It just requires a shift in habits to get there.

Got 10 minutes or so per day, just for the next month?  YOU can build your appreciation/gratitude  toolkit and add it to your Thriving Toolbox.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift
Your Built-In Importance Indicator
The Importance Matrix

We ALL Have Fears!

Immutable Law Of Living Series

We ALL Have Fears:  Immutable Law of LivingFear is wired into our brain.  And there isn’t any way to unwire it!

Which is probably for the best.  Sometimes, fear keeps you from doing something foolish.  It helps to keep you alive.

But it can also keep you stuck.

In many coaching sessions, I ask, “Why didn’t you do that very important thing you know you need to do in order to have a better life, a thriving life?” (OK, I usually condense that to asking why they didn’t do X, whatever X was.)

And the #1 most common response?

“Because I was afraid!”

Fear does not serve us well when it holds us back.

(Here’s a little secret:  we ALL have fears.  What you do about them determines whether you are thriving or stuck.  Your choice.  Listen below for some help.)

Oh, and here are the links to the other episodes in the Immutable Laws of Living Series:

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can

4 Steps To Changing Your Limiting Beliefs

Unstuck Series

Here's how to change your limiting beliefs and get unstuck.Within you, lurking just below the surface, there are some beliefs that are limiting you.  Your Limiting Beliefs influence your thoughts and your perspective.  They mold your paradigm and keep you held hostage.

You can break free from those beliefs.  You don’t have to be held hostage.  There is a simple 4-step process that will allow you to defeat and destroy those beliefs, once and for all.

Here are the 4 C’s steps:

C-onscious
C-hallenge
C-hange
C-ommit

And once you know the secret to uncovering the beliefs, you just apply the steps, one-by-one.  The limiting beliefs dissipate, replaced by your aspirational beliefs.

Try them out and tell me what you think!

GETTING UNSTUCK SERIES
Intro To Getting Unstuck
How You Get Stuck
You Are Not As Stuck As You Think
Give Up Your Goals & Get Unstuck
Loops
Shift Your Perspective
When Fear Has You Stuck
The KNAC Protocol For Getting Unstuck

When Fear Has You Stuck. . .

Getting Unstuck Series: Don't Let Fear Keep You Stuck

Don't let fear keep you stuck.Fear.  It hits us all.  And I’m not talking about a “fright,” a startle from something around you.  But fear.  True fear.

We all have it.  But it doesn’t have to keep you stuck.

The real problem is our relationship with fear.  We learn to avoid fear — and the things that provoke fear.

In fact, it is not the thing, but our thoughts and avoidance of even feeling the fear, that keeps us stuck.

Too many times, people will mention something they want to do, then continue with why that can’t because of a fear.

It is as if the fear has some power to stop the dreams, the hopes, the aspirations.  The only power the fear has is the power we give it.

The antidote?  Courage.  Action.  Courageous action.

Here’s how:

Beliefs, Behavior, and a Fierce Life

Step into your Fierce Life!In the last podcast, I suggested giving up a Fear Life, and moving to a Fierce Life.  That was not a life devoid of fear, but one that chose a path in spite of fear.  It is the courageous life, lived with clarity and purpose, and with intensity.

Sometimes, how we think about ourselves, our personal beliefs, hold us back.  We get caught up in “I’m not. . .” and “I can’t. . . .”

When I started running, I never knew when I could start calling myself a “runner.”  When I decided to run?  After my first run?  After my first race?  After running for a week, a month, a year?

Sometimes, it is the difference between process and product.  For example, the “product” that many people want are 6-pack abs.  They forget about the process of daily healthy choices.  They get stuck on the end result, not the path to get there.

This is true with living a fierce life.  That life is built one choice, one step, one day, at a time.

To be honest, when I was preparing for the last few podcasts, I found myself saying, “I don’t live a fierce life — I’m not fierce.”  I let my old belief system establish whether I am that person or not.  Do I always live fiercely?  No.  But can I choose to live MORE fiercely?  Absolutely!

And a fierce life is built one choice, one decision, one action at a time.  Slowly, you become FIERCE.

2 Magic Questions To Live Beyond Fear

2 Magic Questions to help you live beyond fear.Over the years, I have met several people who told me they “had no fear.”  I immediately knew one of two things were true:  either they were unaware or or unwilling to admit to fear, or they were not pushing very hard.

That doesn’t mean that we should live in fear every day.  Only that fear is a part of any growth and development.

There are plenty of moments in life that are carefree and fearless.  But an overall life that is without fear is a life lived too small.

The danger, though, is being trapped by fear, reduced by fear, and boxed by fear.

People grow and change, though, through questions.  Asking, “I wonder. . . ” or “What if. . . ” or “How could I. . . ” lead to change, inventions, adventure, exploration.

Fear, on the other hand, lives in statements:  “You can’t do that. . . ” or “Be careful of that. . . ” or “I wouldn’t do that. . . .”

That’s the way fear keeps us hostage — by talking in absolutes.  Fear pretends to be the authority on what you can do, what you should do.

But fear doesn’t need to have the last word.  We can always sneak around fear, to find your bigger life, your better place.

Just ask the 2 Magic Questions I outline in the training, and you can move beyond your fear.

Grab a couple of sheets of paper and a pen, so you will be ready to follow the process.

PREVIOUS PODCASTS IN THE FEAR SERIES
The Other Side Of Fear
3 Myths of Fear
4 Steps to Taming Your Fear
Worry Less, Live More

4 Steps to Taming Your Fear

Tame your fear.You can never eliminate fear.  But you CAN tame it!
Really, your choice is between feeding and growing your fear, or taming it.  The first will only chase you further into a cave.  The second option, taming it, leads you to what is most important to you.

When your fear is fed and grows, you grow smaller.

When your fear is tamed, you grow larger — into a larger life, with greater impact, deeper meaning, and more purpose.

There are 4 steps to taming your fear, once you name it.  Here they are:

  1. Call it out.
  2. Assess it.
  3. Aim.
  4. Actualize.

Learn how to move through these steps and discover your larger life!

RELATED RESOURCES:
New Series:  Fear
3 Myths of Fear
Martha Beck’s Article On Fear

3 Myths of Fear

3 myths of fear.Fear.  Does it get in your way?  Do you believe the myths of fear?

Those myths keep you stuck.  Fear becomes the jailor of your life, not the friend it pretends to be.

If you want to get to the other side of fear, you need to know the myths of fear.  Let’s talk about the 3 big ones in this week’s Thriveology Podcast.

Will you get rid of your fears?  No.  But that isn’t the goal, and isn’t even necessary.

It IS necessary to understand the myths, and then move beyond the fears the the life you want and deserve.

New Series: The Other Side of Fear

The Other Side of Fear.We start a new series for Thriveology Podcast:  The Other Side of Fear.

Over the years, countless clients have said the same thing.  First, they would tell me of some dream, some goal, some hope, they wanted to attain.  I would then ask, “Why haven’t you started?”

And the answer was always the same, “I’m too scared to start.”

They wanted to stop feeling fear.

My goal was a bit different.  It was to get them to be able to say, “I’m scared, AND I am getting started.”

Fear.  It is one of those inevitables of life.  Many people assume that there is some group of people out there who are successful BECAUSE they have no fear.  In reality, successful people have gotten there DESPITE their fears.

They have the same fears that everyone does.  They have simply taken the next step, and begun to act.

Let’s take a look at the other side of fear, where all your dreams are!

Control What You CAN Control. . .

Control what you CAN control.We spend lots of time trying to control our Fears, Feelings, and Thoughts.  But, we can’t.  We can decide how long they will keep us stuck, but we just can’t stop them from popping up.  And yet, we spend LOTS of energy trying to avoid them.

Why not spend your time on what you CAN control?

You do have a choice about your Aspirations, Attitude, and Actions.  Focus there.

Let go of the things you can’t control and then choose to control what you CAN control.

Listen below for details.