“Commit!”

"Commit," my friend called to me in the surf.It happened long ago, in what feels like another life.  And the story I tell is absolutely true (as far as I absolutely remember it happening this way!).  I promise accuracy, as far as my memory is capable.

Early in my college life, my rather foolish young man’s brain thought it made sense to drive to the beach, toward a pending hurricane. . . and surf!  I will readily admit that if my kids checked in with me about their plans, I would urge them to reconsider.  And likely knowing this would also be true in my case, I did not check in with my parents.

Not surprisingly, we were able to find a good room for cheap.  It would appear that all the traffic we saw going the other way, as we headed to the coast, were those leaving behind rooms.

In my own defense, this was in the day when people would ride out a storm, proudly buying an “I survived Hurricane ______” t-shirt.

I don’t have a t-shirt, but I did learn a lesson.  I apply it every single day, as I strive to thrive.

Can I tell you my little story?  Listen below. . .

(I mentioned my new book.  Please Check It Out HERE!)

Control What You Can (Release The Rest)

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Control what you can; release the rest.  Immutable Law of Living.Control.  We all want it.  We all try to have it.

And yet, we usually try to control things we cannot control (like, say, other people).  At the same time, we often fail to control the things we can (like, say, ourselves!).

Which tends to pretty much keep us spinning around.  Frustration and desperation come on the heels of feeling out of control.

One important issue:  we have to discern between those two things:  what we can control and what we can’t.  THEN we can commit to controlling what we can, AND releasing the rest.

In this week’s podcast, we discuss controlling the things we can control (I’ll name them) and releasing the things we can’t (I’ll name those, too).  Take a listen!

(And if you have missed out on earlier episodes from the ILL series, the links are below.)

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears
Life is YOUR Responsibility
“What Is” IS What Is

People Do The Best They Can

Immutable Laws of Living Series

People do the best they can, given where they are:  Immutable Law of LivingOther than a few people who were being self-critical and a bit harsh with themselves, I have yet to have someone say, “You know, I am just not trying.  I am kinda sliding by, not really doing what I think I should.”

Almost everyone (other than those few who were really just sharing their personal self-criticism) tells me how they are doing the best they can. . . and not getting where they want to get to.

Over the years, I have decided that people really do the best they can, given where they are.  That is a life precept for me — my way of viewing people.  Admittedly, I have times when I have to remind myself of this little belief.  Not because I stopped believing, but because I lost my empathy.  Then I step back, see it again, and reaffirm that people do the best they can.

To be clear, that does not mean that we are all operating at optimal functioning.  Far from it.  “Where we are” is what keeps us from operating at a better place.  It is just my belief that people are truly doing the best they (we) can, given where they (we) are.

Care to hear more?  Listen to my podcast below (and just below are links to the rest of the Immutable Laws of Living Series).

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable

The Change Matrix – Dealing with Change

Change.  So many times, I hear people say, “I don’t like change.”

But it seems to me that we like change,

  1. when we choose it, and
  2. when we want it.

Over the years, I noticed that change doesn’t always come in the ways we want it, and the time the want it.  Change chooses us, and sometimes challenges us.

That creates the “Change Matrix.”  In my little schema, change falls into four quadrants:

Lee Baucom's Change Matrix

Each quadrant has opportunities and challenges.

Change isn’t optional.  Change comes to us, no matter how much we resist.   Sometimes, we chase it.  Sometimes we avoid it.  But it still comes.  That is the nature of life.

What can YOU do, in the midst of change?

Change 1 Thing

Change 1 thing.  Just one.Change.  Not a favorite of many people.  Life is constantly changing, but that doesn’t mean people like change.

When people decide to change:  lose weight, exercise, get out of debt, or some other worthy goal — suddenly, they want to turn everything upside-down.

Which lasts for a few days.  But many times, they return to right were they were.  No real change.  Just lots of energy.

There is a better way.

Let me be clear — there are times, due to health or finances or a relationship, where you have to turn everything around at once.  But for everyday life, there is a better approach.

Change just 1 thing.

Learn why in this week’s podcast.

Extend Your 3 Horizons to Thrive

Extend your 3 horizons to really thrive.Sometimes, the horizon can seem to stretch in front of us forever.  Sometimes, it seems that we are smack up against the world.  We can’t see beyond where we are.  We can’t see past our problems and struggles.

Time to extend and expand your horizons.

There are three horizons we can all expand:  our problem horizon, opportunity horizon, and growth horizon.

When we can’t see past our problems, our problem horizon is limited.  At those times, you can believe that there is nothing on the other side of a problem or situation.

Sometimes, we just can’t see any opportunities.  Our opportunity horizon is too small, too close.  There seems to be no options, no possibility, no opportunities.  At the same time, others are seeing an opportunity everywhere.  The difference is their opportunity horizon.

And there are times when we just don’t believe we can grow and change.  Our change horizon is too small.  Maybe you tell yourself that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  But in reality, we are ever-changing and ever-growing.  The question is only on how intentional we can be about that growth.  Do we embrace change or run from it?  Do we see our place of growth, or hide from it?

Learn more about your 3 horizons.  And then learn 5 steps to expanding and extending your horizons.

 

Resolve!: Your 2015 Resolution in 1 Word

Goals 2015I always love New Years.  A fresh start!  New beginnings!

It is really the same reason I always liked the end of a semester at school.  While arbitrary, it felt like a fresh start, and a chance to do things differently.

So, I used to sit down and right out my New Years’ Resolutions.  I “limited” myself to 10.

If I were lucky, one of the 10 would still be going, come February.

One year, I thought, “This is not working!  I will only do 3 resolutions!”

That was minimally more effective.  Instead of a 10% success rate, I would be 33% successful.  Much better, but still not great.

And generally, the resolutions didn’t move me forward very far.

There had to be a better way. . . .

Eight years ago, my church decided to choose a word to live into.  That word was a word to stretch into, to grow into, to become.

THAT made the difference!

I became conscious about that word, focused myself on the word, and saw myself growing.

Since, my family has continued that tradition.  Each New Year’s Eve, we share our word with each other.

This year, my word is. . . . Well, you will have to wait.  It isn’t New Year’s Eve yet!

Want to know how to change your resolution into something that makes a difference?

Listen to my audio below.  Then if you want, please leave your word in the comments below!