3 Ways You Complicate Your Life

3 ways we complicate our life.Wouldn’t it make sense if we just made things easy, direct, and effective?

We don’t.  We tend to complicate things.  Repeatedly.

Life is already a challenge many days.  So why do we make it harder on ourselves?  Sometimes, it is mental blocks.  Sometimes, it is reaction.  Sometimes, we let our emotions run the show.

This week, I discuss 3 ways you likely complicate your life.  I know, because I fall into those same traps many times.

The first step is understanding the traps.  The second step is avoiding those traps.

Listen in to discover 3 ways you complicate your life. . . and how to avoid those traps.

Revolutionary Habits, Evolutionary Habits

Thriving Habits Series

Over the last few weeks, we’ve focused on habits as a path to your thriving life.  If you missed any of the weeks, the links are noted below.

Your revolutionary habits and your evolutionary habits.Today, we wrap up the series by noting the difference between two types of habits:  revolutionary habits and evolutionary habits.

Let’s say you are currently not exercising, but decide to start.  You decide to take up jogging.  That is revolutionary.  You are making a 180 degree turn and doing something completely different.

But let’s say you have been jogging for awhile — long enough to call it “running.”  And you decide to add in some resistance training (you might call it “weight lifting”).  That is an evolutionary habit.  You are pivoting your exercise habit to a wider array.

Big changes come from revolutionary habits.  But they tend to be spread out.  You can’t take on a new revolutionary habit every week.  Evolutionary habits are more about fine-tuning and constantly improving.  You may be shifting habits in evolutionary ways day after day.

What are the Revolutionary Habits you need to make?  What are the Evolutionary Habits you need to shift?

Listen to the podcast below for more understanding and clarity — and how to do it!

Habit Series:
You Become Your Habits
Habit Sticking
Habiting Your Goals
LinchPin Habits
Thought Habits

Thought Habits

Thriving Habits Series

For the last few weeks, we’ve been talking habits.  What they are, how they form who you are, how you make them stick, how to turn your goals into habits, and finding your “linchpin habits.”

Your thoughts are habits.This week, I want to draw your attention to your thoughts.  Really, I want to draw attention to the fact that your thinking is also habitual.  Not all of your thoughts.  But how you think and many of the thoughts are really habits.

Those thought habits can either keep you stuck or push you along, depending on the habits.

Do you notice that you think the same way, over and over? Or perhaps you notice you think the same thoughts over and over.  Those are thought habits.

Once those habits start, they become invisible.  Your thoughts keep following the same pathway (in fact, the same neuronal pathway).

Thought habits only change when they are seen as habits.  Let’s make those thoughts thriving thoughts!

Listen below for how your thoughts are habits and what to do.

Habit Series:
You Become Your Habits
Habit Sticking
Habiting Your Goals
LinchPin Habits

You Become Your Habits

Thriving Habit Series

You become your habits.For a long time, habits seemed to be a useless topic to me.  Got a bad habit?  Change it.  Need a good habit?  Build it.

But the more I reflect, the more I realize how much of life is really about habits.  More than that, I have noticed how hard those bad habits are to break.  And how hard those good habits are to build.

So I started paying more attention to my habits.  I started studying habits.

My first observation:  the vast majority of daily life runs on habits.  Habits of what you do to get ready in the morning, habits of how you get to work and where you park, habits of how you work, what you do after work, bedtime, etc.  Sure, there are choices all day long.  But in the background:  habits.

Some habits just help you run your day.  Some help your life.  Others get in the way.  And in the end, you become your habits.  For good AND bad.

This week, we start a new series on habits:  what they are, how we form them, how we make them stick, and how we build them out.

This week, let’s talk about habiting.

“Commit!”

"Commit," my friend called to me in the surf.It happened long ago, in what feels like another life.  And the story I tell is absolutely true (as far as I absolutely remember it happening this way!).  I promise accuracy, as far as my memory is capable.

Early in my college life, my rather foolish young man’s brain thought it made sense to drive to the beach, toward a pending hurricane. . . and surf!  I will readily admit that if my kids checked in with me about their plans, I would urge them to reconsider.  And likely knowing this would also be true in my case, I did not check in with my parents.

Not surprisingly, we were able to find a good room for cheap.  It would appear that all the traffic we saw going the other way, as we headed to the coast, were those leaving behind rooms.

In my own defense, this was in the day when people would ride out a storm, proudly buying an “I survived Hurricane ______” t-shirt.

I don’t have a t-shirt, but I did learn a lesson.  I apply it every single day, as I strive to thrive.

Can I tell you my little story?  Listen below. . .

(I mentioned my new book.  Please Check It Out HERE!)

Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

Does everything happen for a reason?In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, “Everything happens for a reason.”

That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments.

But deeper than that, is it even true?

Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand.

Sometimes, we want to think that there is something behind it — not just some random event.  But what does that phrase mean?  Does it mean that some force is trying to teach some lesson?

For many people, the answer is yes.

But does that make it so?

Does everything happen for a reason?

Let’s chat. . .

RELATED RESOURCES:
Moving Through Grief
Living The Big Stuff with Kristine Carlson

Crisis or Depression?

Midlife Transition Series

Is it depression or a midlife crisis?“I think I might be depressed,” he told me.  I wasn’t convinced.

When Brian was talking, it seemed he was searching more than he was lost.

Depression, unhappiness, and a midlife crisis can look very similar.

But they are very different.  And the way through each is different.

Brian felt depressed.  But in reality, he was trying to figure it all out.  He was in a crisis.  He didn’t need to be treated for depression.  He needed to get through his midlife crisis.

Sometimes, people hit midlife, and it IS depression.  If you (or someone you know) is at midlife and not sure if it is a midlife crisis, depression, or just unhappiness, let’s talk about the differences.  Each has a different path.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis
A Healthy Midlife Transition

 

Healthy Midlife Transitions

Mid Life Transformation Series

How to have a healthy midlife crisis -- transition and transformation.Not every mid-lifer manages a crisis.  Many make a healthy transition to the new stage of life and development.

The difference?

There are several factors that come into play.  Central is a misunderstanding about what is happening.

Many people refuse to admit some change is happening.  They hold onto old models that no longer work.  They cling to old habits that no longer help.

When people come into my office and tell me they think they are having a midlife crisis, I congratulate them and ask, “What took you so long?”  The longer their delay, the deeper the crisis.

Let’s talk about some strategies of dealing with a midlife crisis in a healthy way.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis

The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis

Mid Life Transformation Series

The heart of a midlife crisis: MeaningMost people slide right into midlife, out of breath from exertion.  Up until then, it is all about achieve.  What can I do, build, and achieve?  Then, something shifts.  It is about believe.  What do I believe?  What’s important?  What will I leave as my legacy?

And that is the heart of a midlife crisis.  Meaning becomes a dominant theme, often covered up by the fumblings of someone not used to that question.

Many people at midlife feel a yearning, but they can’t quite identify what they are yearning for.  That yearning is the deeper call of meaning.

I cover the Heart of  a Midlife Crisis in this week’s podcast.

MID LIFE TRANSFORMATION SERIES
4 Myths of A Mid Life Crisis

4 Myths of Mid Life Crisis

Mid Life Transformation Series

4 myths of mid life crisis.This week, we turn our attention to mid-life.  Maybe because that is where I am!

Many clients come to me in the midst of a midlife crisis.  But that term carries so much baggage that many people are even embarrassed to consider the fact that it might just be. . . a. . . mid-life crisis brewing!

Too bad.  In reality, mid life is all about transformation.  New opportunities abound.  Possible growth and change is on the horizon.  Deeper meaning.  Greater purpose.  Huge impact.  All the possibilities of a midlife transformation.

In the last couple of years, headlines blared, “Mid Life Crisis Is A Myth.”  But they missed the point of a midlife crisis.  The scale used in research was “happiness.”  Wrong scale.  The right scale is about meaning.  Besides, nobody has figured out how to define or measure happiness with any clarity.

Instead of focusing on the “myth of the midlife crisis,” this week, I turn my attention to 4 myths about midlife crises.

Care to join me?  Listen below: