What’s Your Center Point?

What's your focus point, your center point, in a dizzying world?It’s a dizzying world, disorienting and jarring.  And every day, you have to make decisions about how to live your life.  What is your primary focus point?  How do you orient your life?

In workshops, I have asked this same question.  People begin to name their priorities:  family, happiness, reputation, respect, or even profit.  Does that provide a moment-by-moment re-orientation?

Nope.

The other day, I was on a crazy, spinny ride with my daughter.  I told her, “Keep your eyes focused on the middle, right in the center.”  In the middle of the ride, I did just the opposite, looking to my side.

I was immediately dizzy.  But as soon as I turned my focus back to the center, the middle point, my focus came back.  The dizziness fell away.

In this dizzying world, what is your center point?  I’ll tell you mine. . .

Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

Does everything happen for a reason?In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, “Everything happens for a reason.”

That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments.

But deeper than that, is it even true?

Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand.

Sometimes, we want to think that there is something behind it — not just some random event.  But what does that phrase mean?  Does it mean that some force is trying to teach some lesson?

For many people, the answer is yes.

But does that make it so?

Does everything happen for a reason?

Let’s chat. . .

RELATED RESOURCES:
Moving Through Grief
Living The Big Stuff with Kristine Carlson

Moving Through My Midlife

Midlife Transition Series

Moving through MY midlife.Yep, MY midlife.  Because I find myself at midlife (maybe, even probably, beyond “midpoint,” but in the midst of midlife).

I thought that since I have been discussing midlife transitions and crises, I needed to be open about my own midlife issues and transitions.  While not a crisis, it is definitely a transition.

Let me be clear that I don’t believe I should in any way be a model of how to do this (or how NOT to do this).  But I do think it may be helpful to hear from someone else who is going through this.

It turns out that many people think what they are feeling is unique to them — and that is just NOT so.  Midlife is a transition.  And it CAN become a crisis.

Here’s how it has been for me. . .

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis
A Healthy Midlife Transition
Midlife Crisis or Depression?

6 Steps To Dealing With Stress

How to Beat Stress

6 strategies for beating stress.How many times do you hear someone say, “I’m so stressed!”  Or how many times do YOU think and feel that?

We live in a culture that seems to revel in being stressed.  Unfortunately, it is sometimes a badge of honor — the cost of being in demand and doing important stuff.

But is it?

How do you not just “deal” with stress, but beat stress?  Well, first, we need to be clear about what stress REALLY is (and what it isn’t).  Then, we can talk about strategies for addressing the REAL issue.

When you are “stressed,” there isn’t a solution.   When you know what it is, the solution(s) are easier.

Let’s talk about defeating stress with 6 strategies in the training below.

Starting and Ending Your Day Strong

Start strong and end strong each day for a thriving year!How do you build a thriving year?  By having thriving days.

How do you have thriving days?  By focusing on how you start your day and end your day.  What happens in the middle tends to take care of itself — IF you start strong and end strong.

Do you have a morning plan or ritual? How about an evening plan or ritual?  Are you still looking for a way to start and end each day?

I’m not sure my plan is perfect.  And I don’t follow it perfectly.  But it is working for me.  I do my best to follow it.  My intention is to do better this year.  My plan is to continually improve my plan.

Listen and tell me what you think.  Let me know what YOU do in the comments below.

(Here is an earlier podcast on mornings and an earlier podcast on evenings.)

 

How To Deal With Difficult People

How to deal with difficult people.“You can’t take my joy!”  What a great line.  And it fits so many times.  You are having a great day — and then that one person, that difficult person. . . .  They try to rob your joy!

So, how DO you deal with difficult people?  Because they are all around.  At work, in your community. . . maybe even in your own family!

You can’t escape them.  You need a plan on how to deal with them.

Let me tell you my 6 steps for dealing with difficult people.

And if you need to upgrade your boundaries, CLICK HERE for free training.  If you need to upgrade your personal standards, CLICK HERE for free training.

(Listen to How To Deal With Difficult People training below.)

3 Thoughts To Turn Around Tough Times

3 thoughts to turn around tough times.In the midst of my own serious illness years ago, I had friends who were more than willing to share with me the many ways I might die from my illness.  They seemed to have missed the fact that I had the same information.

But they also missed the fact that I refused to play through every potential scenario.  Not because I was in denial, but because it did not benefit me to focus on it.

In reflection, I used three specific phrases to stay focused on my life (and not my potential demise).

And in fact, these same thoughts and reflections are strong sources of me thriving to this day.

Let me tell you about the thoughts I held and continue to hold when dealing with life circumstances.

Are there other thoughts YOU use?  Share in the comments below.

Choosing How You Live It

You DON'T Have A Choice In What Life Sends Your Way. . .

You don't have a choice on what life sends your way.  You have a choice in how you live it out.If there is one thing clearly evident:  we do not have a choice in what life sends our way.  Sometimes, things happen.  Good things, bad things, in-between things.  “Stuff” happens.

Sometimes, we have zero control over what happens.  Sometimes, we have some influence on what happens.  Sometimes, we have control.  But what about the things that just happen?

We have no choice about that.

But we do have a choice in how we live it out.

After the initial shock of adjusting to something, we get to choose how we move forward.  We can choose how we respond, who we choose to be, and what it teaches.

Listen for more details on how to choose your living when “stuff” happens.

(Learn more about Responsibility HERE.)

 

Fear or Love; Your Choice!

Immutable Laws of Living Series

You can live in fear and threat or love and appreciation.  Your choice.Have you ever wondered whether your brain controlled your mind or your mind controlled your brain?  Here is the answer:

YES.

Your brain certainly affects your thinking. But your thinking affects your brain. . . and you can CHOOSE where your thoughts dwell.

Brain chemistry is much more complicated.  And we know very little about how that chemistry works, anyway.

What we DO know about the brain is there are three layers.  The most primitive and deepest part of your brain scans the environment for threats — locking you into a fight/flight mode when it is activated.  The next layer is all about emotions.  And the top layer is about thoughts and reason.  We like that part.  But we often forget about the other layers.  Those other layers can keep us stuck, though.

Let’s talk about your brain and your mind.  Let’s discuss how to shift to Love/Appreciation — or you default to Fear/Threat.

Where do you want to spend your time?

(If you missed the earlier parts of the Immutable Laws Of Living Series, the links are below.)
Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears
Life is YOUR Responsibility
“What Is” IS What Is
Control What You Can (Release The Rest)
Forgive To Live
Life Is The NOW
How Do You Spend Your Time?