Stop Avoiding Discomfort, Struggle, and Stress

We only learn through the struggle.  Avoid struggles, challenges, and stress, find yourself stuck and stagnating.Where did we get the notion that life should be one smooth glide down Easy Street?  Never has been, never will be.  Life is full of struggles, times of discomfort, and challenges.

Thank goodness!

Growth only comes from the struggles and challenges.  What we call “stress” is what gives us strength.  We rise to a challenge, learn new skills, and get ready for the next challenge.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not encouraging you to chase after struggles and challenges.  You don’t need to, since they will come your way.

The question is what you do when a struggle DOES come your way.  Do you duck-and-hide, proclaim “life is unfair,” or do you take it on as a challenge?  A challenge is something to move through, overcome, learn from, and grow into.

And THAT is the power of a struggle or challenge.

Life is an episode of:  Discomfort ==> Change ==> Comfort ==> Discomfort (and repeat).  We have periods of comfort, AFTER we have moved through the discomfort, the struggle — UNLESS we avoid the discomfort (or try to).  Then, there is no growth, there is no new capacity, and really no comfort.

When the discomfort comes, will you take it on as a sign that it is time to grow?

Learn how in this week’s podcast episode.

(And, hey, if you like it, can you share it below?)

Beliefs, Behavior, and a Fierce Life

Step into your Fierce Life!In the last podcast, I suggested giving up a Fear Life, and moving to a Fierce Life.  That was not a life devoid of fear, but one that chose a path in spite of fear.  It is the courageous life, lived with clarity and purpose, and with intensity.

Sometimes, how we think about ourselves, our personal beliefs, hold us back.  We get caught up in “I’m not. . .” and “I can’t. . . .”

When I started running, I never knew when I could start calling myself a “runner.”  When I decided to run?  After my first run?  After my first race?  After running for a week, a month, a year?

Sometimes, it is the difference between process and product.  For example, the “product” that many people want are 6-pack abs.  They forget about the process of daily healthy choices.  They get stuck on the end result, not the path to get there.

This is true with living a fierce life.  That life is built one choice, one step, one day, at a time.

To be honest, when I was preparing for the last few podcasts, I found myself saying, “I don’t live a fierce life — I’m not fierce.”  I let my old belief system establish whether I am that person or not.  Do I always live fiercely?  No.  But can I choose to live MORE fiercely?  Absolutely!

And a fierce life is built one choice, one decision, one action at a time.  Slowly, you become FIERCE.

Fear Life or Fierce Life?

Live the fierce life! Not the fear life.I used to wish for a fearless life.  You know, that place where you no longer have fears.  Only confidence and drive.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want to live a life of fear, held back by fears and concerns.

I just no longer believe that a “fearless” life is possible.  Fear is too important and too deeply embedded in us.

In fact, I want to have some fear around.  Something needs to make me pause and say, “Is this safe?  Should I be doing this?”

And more importantly, for a full life, I need fear to point out the important areas and important directions.  As I have stated in other trainings and podcasts, fear is NOT an “Avoidance Indicator.”  It is an “Importance Indicator.”  Fear serves to point out when something is important.  It may be of safety importance, or it could be of epic importance.

If the goal is not “fearless living,” then what is the goal?

Fierce Living.

Living fiercely.  Focused, clear, intentional, and courageous.

How do you make the shift?  Listen in to this week’s training.

And then, live fiercely!

PREVIOUS PODCASTS IN THE FEAR SERIES
The Other Side Of Fear
3 Myths of Fear
4 Steps to Taming Your Fear
Worry Less, Live More
2 Magic Questions To Live Beyond Fear

How To End Your Day On A High Note

End your day on a high note.Days have a rhythm.  All day long, it is a huge inhale, trying to get that energy in you and into your efforts.

But at the end of the day, it is a big exhale, a moment of relaxing and calming.

Or more accurately, it should be.

In our natural rhythm, evenings are a time to wind-down, calm down, and move toward rest.

In fact, our ancestors had no choice but to do that.  No lights to keep on.  No screens to watch or video games to play.  No social media to post to.  Just a quiet time to move toward sleep.

Experts tell us that our society is sleep deprived.  And researchers are clear that this impacts work performance, relationships, happiness, health, moods, and a myriad of other factors.

To put it simply, if you are not getting adequate rest, you will struggle to thrive!  Your body, psyche, and relationships will pay the price.

In this podcast, I cover 4 areas of your life that you can shift, so that you have the best chance for getting the best rest.

Join me to end your day on a high note, and start your night ready for rest.

RESOURCE MENTIONED IN PODCAST:
Podcast on Starting Your Day Right

 

You Feel Your Focus

You feel your focus.What is your focus?

Do you focus on the threats and dangers, the “what’s wrong” of life?

It is seductive.  The “news” surrounds us with stories that can lead you to believe we are in danger at every turn.

The “self-help” world tells us all the things that are “wrong” with us.

And our brain latches on to those messages.  Our brain gets sucked into the fears and threats.

So why do we seem to miss all that is “right,” going well, and good?

The “Amygdala Hijack” is to blame.

Unless we choose our focus, we will become focused on the fearful, the dangerous, the threatening.

And we will miss the beautiful, the hopeful, the meaningful, and the inspirational.

Let’s talk about how you limit your exposure.  Let me tell you about 5 ways to take back your brain and your mind from the Amygdala Hijack.

 

5 Ways To Shift Your Day From Stressful To Restful

Shift from stressful to restful.I was at a workshop yesterday, and was struck with how many people said, “My life/job/relationship is stressful.”

That was a belief I once shared.  Now, I understand that stress is our internal reaction to an external event.

There is nothing inherently stressful to a life or job or situation, except as we experience it as stressful.

In other words, we may be having stressful thoughts about the situation.  But someone else may be experiencing the same thing, but feel free of stress — perhaps even exhilarated.

If, though, you are feeling stressed, and want to make some shifts, I have some ideas to share with you.  Here is the really good part:  nothing I suggest will add to your load.  Most are simple shifts you can make right now, today.  And all have been proven to help you.

These are some things you can do to make your life a bit less stressful — make your life a bit more smooth and restful.  And I promise you, none will require you to make any drastic changes.  No need to quit the job, move to a deserted island.

If you incorporate these simple ideas and strategies, I promise you will see a change in your stress load.  You will have more resources (emotional and energetic) to deal with those issues in your life.

Think of it like a glass of water.  If the water is almost filled up, it only takes a little more to overflow the cup (your life) and make a mess (stress you out).  But if you start the day with half a glass, you have more room for those issues and problems that will inevitably arise — and it won’t overflow your cup (your life) and make a mess (stress you out).

Learn how to keep the glass less full with my 5 simple suggestions to go from stressful to restful.

 

What Martin Taught Me About Gratitude

GratitudeI met Martin toward the end of his life.  He was a double-amputee, with much of an arm also missing.  And he suffered from emphysema.

Oh, and Martin taught me a lesson I needed to learn:  gratitude.  He gave thanks for his life, in spite of having lost two children, his wife, his siblings, and his parents — all rather tragically.

Martin blessed me with a lesson I still struggle to learn every day.

How’s your gratitude?

Let me tell you how I exercise my “gratitude muscle” this time of year — and every day!

4 “Can’ts” And How To Change Them

Can't or Won't?I used to be the King of Can’t.  “I can’t do this,” or “We can’t do that” seemed to roll out of my mouth.

Almost all of them were lies.  Well, kind of.

They certainly were not true.  Instead, my “can’ts” were more about mindset and perception than reality.

“I can’t do this” is often less about an impossibility, and more about a lack of skill, lack of desire, or lack of responsibility.

In this week’s podcast, I want to share with you the 4 types of can’ts.  All but 1 are solvable.  And the one that isn’t?  It is the background noise, the given of life.  You simply move forward, in spite of that “can’t.”

Can I share with you the 4 “can’ts” and how to escape the “can’t” trap?

Join me as I try to abdicate my throne of Can’t.

Built For Impact: #28 Thriveology Podcast

You are designed for impact.Do you wonder why you are here?  Are you wondering what purpose you have in the world?

You have something unique to offer to the world.  It is something only YOU can do to impact the world.

Life satisfaction comes from being a person of impact.  Change in your own life and in the life of those around you only comes from being a person of impact.

As humans, we are designed for impact.  We are designed to create an impact in our own life, the lives of those around us, and in the lives of others.

What?  You don’t think you are impacting the world?  You don’t think you have anything to offer?  Let me prove you wrong!

In this week’s Thriveology Podcast, I tell you several reasons why you may not be making an impact.  But more importantly, I give you several ways of becoming a person of impact.

Let me know what you think in the comments area below!

Dealing with Roadblocks and Life Knocks: #26 Thriveology Podcast

life roadblocks and how to copeYou can guarantee life will hand you lumps.  You can guarantee there will be roadblocks and tough times.

How will you respond?  Will you believe “this just isn’t meant to be?”  Or will you believe something else is possible?

In this week’s podcast, I share some of my own life struggles and talk about how we can cope better with roadblocks and tough times.

Let’s learn how to thrive better together, and discuss some strategies for dealing with those life challenges.  You CAN face life, even when life seems unfair and challenging.

In fact, a thriving mindset equips you to thrive EVEN BETTER BECAUSE OF the life struggles, not in spite of.