Change Is Inevitable

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Change is inevitable:  Immutable Law of LivingThere is one constant in life:  Change.  It doesn’t matter if you hate change (most people) or love change (a few people — but usually, only when the change is going their way!).  The change happens.

Watch the seasons of the year go by.  Summer just blew through.  Fall is, inescapably (at least north of the equator) coming in.  Watch your kids.  Like it or not, they keep right on marching toward adulthood.  And (painfully, I might add), watch as your body continues to age — no matter what you do to stop it.  It just keeps on coming.

Change.

It is inevitable.

So, do we ignore it?  Do we hate it?  Or do we accept it and learn to grow with it?

Listen below for my (thriving) opinion.

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited

It’s Not About Happiness

Immutable Laws of Living Series

Life is not about happiness.OK, before you kick me to the curb and tell me you want to be happy, hear me out.  I don’t want you to be miserable.  But I also don’t think life is simply about being happy.

In fact, that assumption is often what leads people to some pretty bad places of addiction, consumption, debt, unhealthy behavior — and unhappiness.

So many times, people have said to me that they are guaranteed happiness in the Declaration of Independence.  I first remind them that they are given the “unalienable right” to the “pursuit of happiness.”  Not to be happy.

Second, I point out that our founding fathers did not have the same idea of “happy” that we seem to find in popular culture.  Their idea was a bit deeper — and tightly tied to the Greek idea of Eudaemonia, a term that was about living a life of virtue a “Good Life.”

Let me say again, I do not think life is about being unhappy or miserable.  But I tend to think the more we chase happiness, the more it eludes us.  Because life isn’t really about happiness.

Listen below and let me know what you think!

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges

Getting Unstuck Intro

New Series Introduction on How To Get Un-Stuck

How we get stuck.  And how we get un-stuck.During my career as a therapist, person after person came to figure out why they were stuck.  As I transitioned to coaching, I realized my focus was on how to get unstuck.

How we get stuck is merely a starting point.  The real task is how to get un-stuck and moving toward our aspirations.

When we are stuck, we can’t be thriving.  But the process of getting unstuck is also the process of thriving.

I believe that we all have the capacity of being un-stuck, regardless of circumstances and situations.

How you are stuck is similar for all of us.  What you do when you are un-stuck, that can vary greatly.  But the process of getting unstuck is the same.

Today, listen in as I tell you how Bill got stuck.

If this strikes a cord in you, please share this episode with the social sharing buttons below, and consider giving a review of the podcast in iTunes or in Stitcher.

Let’s thrive!

Can’t Change The Past So Stop Trying

Let your past stay in your past.  Focus on the present and future.It is an interesting human characteristic that we spend lots of energy trying to rework and change the past — at the same time, we fail to believe we can change our future!

A belief that the future is unchangeable (and actions/inactions that often reveal this hidden belief) is called fatalism.  It is a belief that fate is set.  The ancient Greeks and Romans believed in the Fates, three women who created the thread of life for each person, measured it out, then cut it, when it was time to die.  No beating the fates.

Que sera sera.  

“Whatever will be, will be.”

I think I much prefer (please excuse my attempt at translation),  Que fuera era. Whatever was, was.  That might be “reverse fatalism.”  The past has happened and can’t be changed.  But we do have some choice about how the future plays out.

We don’t have FULL control of our futures.  But we have much more than we often like to claim.  And that might be the better focus:  changing what we CAN change, what we CAN control.

The past is NOT part of what we can change.  The future (starting in the present) holds much more potential.

Join me as I explore this “Reverse Fatalism.”

RELATED RESOURCES:
Interview With Jack Canfield
Accepting What Is
The Control Paradox
Forgive
Show Up
Responsibility
Gratitude
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2 Words To Thrive

2 words to help you thrive:  persist and resist.All the way back to the first century, one philosopher suggested 2 simple words to guide a thriving life (he didn’t really call it a thriving life, but that was what he described).  Those 2 words are still crucial for building a thriving life.  And they are 2 words that you can easily practice and build.

Think of each word as representing a muscle.  The more you practice, the stronger it gets.  More than that, think of these 2 words as coordinating muscles.  Kind of like the muscles you use to push and the muscles you use to pull.

In fact, one word is all about pulling something toward you, and the other is all about pushing something(s) away from you.

That first century philosopher?  Epictetus.  The 2 words?  To quote Epictetus, “persist and resist.”  Keep moving through the hardships to get where you want to be (persist) and keep resisting the pleasures that pull you off your path (resist).

Learn how to apply those two words in your own thriving life in this week’s podcast.

Stop Avoiding Discomfort, Struggle, and Stress

We only learn through the struggle.  Avoid struggles, challenges, and stress, find yourself stuck and stagnating.Where did we get the notion that life should be one smooth glide down Easy Street?  Never has been, never will be.  Life is full of struggles, times of discomfort, and challenges.

Thank goodness!

Growth only comes from the struggles and challenges.  What we call “stress” is what gives us strength.  We rise to a challenge, learn new skills, and get ready for the next challenge.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not encouraging you to chase after struggles and challenges.  You don’t need to, since they will come your way.

The question is what you do when a struggle DOES come your way.  Do you duck-and-hide, proclaim “life is unfair,” or do you take it on as a challenge?  A challenge is something to move through, overcome, learn from, and grow into.

And THAT is the power of a struggle or challenge.

Life is an episode of:  Discomfort ==> Change ==> Comfort ==> Discomfort (and repeat).  We have periods of comfort, AFTER we have moved through the discomfort, the struggle — UNLESS we avoid the discomfort (or try to).  Then, there is no growth, there is no new capacity, and really no comfort.

When the discomfort comes, will you take it on as a sign that it is time to grow?

Learn how in this week’s podcast episode.

(And, hey, if you like it, can you share it below?)

Beliefs, Behavior, and a Fierce Life

Step into your Fierce Life!In the last podcast, I suggested giving up a Fear Life, and moving to a Fierce Life.  That was not a life devoid of fear, but one that chose a path in spite of fear.  It is the courageous life, lived with clarity and purpose, and with intensity.

Sometimes, how we think about ourselves, our personal beliefs, hold us back.  We get caught up in “I’m not. . .” and “I can’t. . . .”

When I started running, I never knew when I could start calling myself a “runner.”  When I decided to run?  After my first run?  After my first race?  After running for a week, a month, a year?

Sometimes, it is the difference between process and product.  For example, the “product” that many people want are 6-pack abs.  They forget about the process of daily healthy choices.  They get stuck on the end result, not the path to get there.

This is true with living a fierce life.  That life is built one choice, one step, one day, at a time.

To be honest, when I was preparing for the last few podcasts, I found myself saying, “I don’t live a fierce life — I’m not fierce.”  I let my old belief system establish whether I am that person or not.  Do I always live fiercely?  No.  But can I choose to live MORE fiercely?  Absolutely!

And a fierce life is built one choice, one decision, one action at a time.  Slowly, you become FIERCE.

Fear Life or Fierce Life?

Live the fierce life! Not the fear life.I used to wish for a fearless life.  You know, that place where you no longer have fears.  Only confidence and drive.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want to live a life of fear, held back by fears and concerns.

I just no longer believe that a “fearless” life is possible.  Fear is too important and too deeply embedded in us.

In fact, I want to have some fear around.  Something needs to make me pause and say, “Is this safe?  Should I be doing this?”

And more importantly, for a full life, I need fear to point out the important areas and important directions.  As I have stated in other trainings and podcasts, fear is NOT an “Avoidance Indicator.”  It is an “Importance Indicator.”  Fear serves to point out when something is important.  It may be of safety importance, or it could be of epic importance.

If the goal is not “fearless living,” then what is the goal?

Fierce Living.

Living fiercely.  Focused, clear, intentional, and courageous.

How do you make the shift?  Listen in to this week’s training.

And then, live fiercely!

PREVIOUS PODCASTS IN THE FEAR SERIES
The Other Side Of Fear
3 Myths of Fear
4 Steps to Taming Your Fear
Worry Less, Live More
2 Magic Questions To Live Beyond Fear

How To End Your Day On A High Note

End your day on a high note.Days have a rhythm.  All day long, it is a huge inhale, trying to get that energy in you and into your efforts.

But at the end of the day, it is a big exhale, a moment of relaxing and calming.

Or more accurately, it should be.

In our natural rhythm, evenings are a time to wind-down, calm down, and move toward rest.

In fact, our ancestors had no choice but to do that.  No lights to keep on.  No screens to watch or video games to play.  No social media to post to.  Just a quiet time to move toward sleep.

Experts tell us that our society is sleep deprived.  And researchers are clear that this impacts work performance, relationships, happiness, health, moods, and a myriad of other factors.

To put it simply, if you are not getting adequate rest, you will struggle to thrive!  Your body, psyche, and relationships will pay the price.

In this podcast, I cover 4 areas of your life that you can shift, so that you have the best chance for getting the best rest.

Join me to end your day on a high note, and start your night ready for rest.

RESOURCE MENTIONED IN PODCAST:
Podcast on Starting Your Day Right

 

You Feel Your Focus

You feel your focus.What is your focus?

Do you focus on the threats and dangers, the “what’s wrong” of life?

It is seductive.  The “news” surrounds us with stories that can lead you to believe we are in danger at every turn.

The “self-help” world tells us all the things that are “wrong” with us.

And our brain latches on to those messages.  Our brain gets sucked into the fears and threats.

So why do we seem to miss all that is “right,” going well, and good?

The “Amygdala Hijack” is to blame.

Unless we choose our focus, we will become focused on the fearful, the dangerous, the threatening.

And we will miss the beautiful, the hopeful, the meaningful, and the inspirational.

Let’s talk about how you limit your exposure.  Let me tell you about 5 ways to take back your brain and your mind from the Amygdala Hijack.