The Importance Matrix

Tools To Thrive Series

The Importance MatrixDo you find yourself chasing after all of those “urgent” tasks, only to discover that they really don’t matter?

President Dwight Eisenhower said, “I have to kinds of problems.  The urgent and the important.  The urgent are not important and the important are never urgent.”

Sometimes, the urgent things ARE important.  They probably get done right then and there.  But then the urgent (but not important) tend to crowd out the important (but not urgent).  For example, those meetings and tasks at work that you take on can seem urgent.  But they might not be important.  On the other hand, relationships with a spouse or children can get pushed to the side because they are not urgent.  Yet they are important.

The sad part is when the important (but not urgent) get shuffled off to the side for so long that they become no longer important.  Broken relationships, hurting spouses — they drift away.

The Eisenhower Box is named for President Eisenhower.  It is a powerful tool in your Thriving Toolbox, as you work to get priorities clarified.

Listen in to learn how to use it in your life.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift
Your Built-In Importance Indicator

Your Built-In Importance Indicator

Tools To Thrive Series

Your Built-In Importance IndicatorWouldn’t it be nice if you had a built-in detector that let you know when something is important?  Kind of like a treasure detector to point out when to pay attention and dig in?

Guess what?

You do!

But you probably aren’t using it the way it was designed.  Most people aren’t.  In fact, most people use this indicator as an Avoidance Indicator — using it to AVOID things, even important things.

Used correctly, this built-in indicator will help you decide what is important and what is trivial.  It will also guide your choices.  Used incorrectly, and it will keep you stuck, small, and missing opportunities.

Ready to learn how to use it?  Listen below. . .

 

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift

The Perspective Shift

Tools To Thrive Series

Shift Your PerspectiveAs I ran through the woods, I could only see the trees and path right in front of me.  I had no idea how far up the mountain I had climbed.  I had no idea about the turns in the trail ahead.  And I couldn’t even see very far back, given all the twists.  My vision was only the few yards ahead.

Sometimes, life is like that.  We are so close to something, we lose perspective.  We can only see the next little period of time.  Which means that some things seem bigger than they are, and some things seem insignificant, but prove important.

Fortunately, one tool in your Thrive Toolbox is the capacity of changing perspectives when you want.

This week, to equip you, I want to provide you with 4 perspective shifts you can use.  Then, you can see the forest, even when the trees are right in front.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula

The Responsibility Formula

Tools To Thrive Series

Being 100% Responsible:  The Responsibility Formula

E + R = O

It’s one of my favorite formulas.  And it isn’t even math!

Well, it kinda is.  It is the Responsibility Formula Dr. Robert Resnick developed, and Jack Canfield popularized.

And it is powerful.

Like most formulas, all the parts must be present.

Many times, people assume that what happens around them determines what happens to them.  They miss a piece of the formula.

Sometimes, people assume they have full control of life, that they can choose their path, without outside interference.  They also miss a piece of the formula.

Master this formula and you will have a grasp on responsibility in your life — and how to work the formula in your favor.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Thrive Principles Simplified

Today is a big day for me.  It is the release date for my new book, Thrive Principles.  This book is near and dear to my heart.  I have lived with it for years, collecting and developing the strategies throughout my career.

The fifteen strategies can help you build a thriving life, regardless of what is going on in your life.  Tough times or easy times, we can all thrive throughout life.

Please check out my new baby at the book’s website RIGHT HERE.

The Thrive Principles SimplifiedSince I have spent a great deal of time thinking about these principles, I have come to understand how intertwined the principles are.  In fact, I have realized that you don’t have to focus on all 15.  Choose a few.  The others will almost naturally come through.

A coaching client challenged me, “Can you boil it down?  Make it stupid-simple.”

So I did.  But I wanted to be clear, “Simple” does not equal “Easy.”  If someone wants an easy way to thrive. . . it doesn’t exist.  In fact, taking the easy way is how many people suffer and stay stuck.

What I discovered in coaching was focusing on two pieces is the core of it all:
1)  Personal Responsibility
2) Meaning/Purpose/Impact Triad

Put your focus there and you thrive.  The other principles serve as clarifying and support strategies.

I cover these two pieces in today’s podcast below.

In the meantime, please CHECK OUT MY NEW BOOK HERE.

Does Everything Happen For A Reason?

Does everything happen for a reason?In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, “Everything happens for a reason.”

That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments.

But deeper than that, is it even true?

Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand.

Sometimes, we want to think that there is something behind it — not just some random event.  But what does that phrase mean?  Does it mean that some force is trying to teach some lesson?

For many people, the answer is yes.

But does that make it so?

Does everything happen for a reason?

Let’s chat. . .

RELATED RESOURCES:
Moving Through Grief
Living The Big Stuff with Kristine Carlson

Moving Through My Midlife

Midlife Transition Series

Moving through MY midlife.Yep, MY midlife.  Because I find myself at midlife (maybe, even probably, beyond “midpoint,” but in the midst of midlife).

I thought that since I have been discussing midlife transitions and crises, I needed to be open about my own midlife issues and transitions.  While not a crisis, it is definitely a transition.

Let me be clear that I don’t believe I should in any way be a model of how to do this (or how NOT to do this).  But I do think it may be helpful to hear from someone else who is going through this.

It turns out that many people think what they are feeling is unique to them — and that is just NOT so.  Midlife is a transition.  And it CAN become a crisis.

Here’s how it has been for me. . .

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis
A Healthy Midlife Transition
Midlife Crisis or Depression?

Crisis or Depression?

Midlife Transition Series

Is it depression or a midlife crisis?“I think I might be depressed,” he told me.  I wasn’t convinced.

When Brian was talking, it seemed he was searching more than he was lost.

Depression, unhappiness, and a midlife crisis can look very similar.

But they are very different.  And the way through each is different.

Brian felt depressed.  But in reality, he was trying to figure it all out.  He was in a crisis.  He didn’t need to be treated for depression.  He needed to get through his midlife crisis.

Sometimes, people hit midlife, and it IS depression.  If you (or someone you know) is at midlife and not sure if it is a midlife crisis, depression, or just unhappiness, let’s talk about the differences.  Each has a different path.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis
A Healthy Midlife Transition

 

Healthy Midlife Transitions

Mid Life Transformation Series

How to have a healthy midlife crisis -- transition and transformation.Not every mid-lifer manages a crisis.  Many make a healthy transition to the new stage of life and development.

The difference?

There are several factors that come into play.  Central is a misunderstanding about what is happening.

Many people refuse to admit some change is happening.  They hold onto old models that no longer work.  They cling to old habits that no longer help.

When people come into my office and tell me they think they are having a midlife crisis, I congratulate them and ask, “What took you so long?”  The longer their delay, the deeper the crisis.

Let’s talk about some strategies of dealing with a midlife crisis in a healthy way.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis

The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis

Mid Life Transformation Series

The heart of a midlife crisis: MeaningMost people slide right into midlife, out of breath from exertion.  Up until then, it is all about achieve.  What can I do, build, and achieve?  Then, something shifts.  It is about believe.  What do I believe?  What’s important?  What will I leave as my legacy?

And that is the heart of a midlife crisis.  Meaning becomes a dominant theme, often covered up by the fumblings of someone not used to that question.

Many people at midlife feel a yearning, but they can’t quite identify what they are yearning for.  That yearning is the deeper call of meaning.

I cover the Heart of  a Midlife Crisis in this week’s podcast.

MID LIFE TRANSFORMATION SERIES
4 Myths of A Mid Life Crisis