Using Mindfulness To Thrive

Tools To Thrive Series

Thrive tool of mindfulness.It’s a hot topic these days:  Mindfulness.

It has been touted as a stress reliever.  But it is far more than that (although it does relieve stress).  Mindfulness is really an awareness your experience.  In other words, instead of lost in thought or distracted, you are experiencing the world and you in it.

When you are mindful, you are more engaged with others.  You taste the food you are eating.  You feel the environment around you.

And you are not as lost in thought.  Do remember that your emotional state is a derivative of your thoughts (NOT your experience of your environment).

Stress is really about fear.  Fear comes from thoughts.  Not the experience, but your thoughts and interpretations of the experience.  Reconnecting with the experience disengages the thoughts.

Give it a try.  I give 3 simple mindfulness exercises in the podcast below.

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift
Your Built-In Importance Indicator
The Importance Matrix
The Appreciation Approach
A Thriving Breath
Systemize Your Life

A Thriving Breath

Tools To Thrive Series

Using your breathing as a way to thrive and be healthy.It happens automatically.  You don’t even think about it.  Unless you choose to notice it — or even change it.  And it’s a good thing it happens automatically.  Otherwise, you would not last long.

Breathing.

Even if you don’t ever think about it, your breathing will keep oxygen coming into your body and carbon dioxide going out of your body. In and out.  All day long.

No big deal, right?

Wrong.

HOW you breathe determines whether your body acts as if there is a threat or whether your body assumes everything is alright.  One way causes stress.  The other way creates calm.

One way is how you likely breathe on a regular basis — and especially when there is a perceived threat or stressful situation.  The other way allows you to calm yourself down, increase your oxygen supply, and shift away from fear/stress.

Ready to shift to a thriving breath?  Listen below

Tools of Thriving Series
Introduction
Thought Awareness
Only Control What You Can

The Responsibility Formula
The Perspective Shift
Your Built-In Importance Indicator
The Importance Matrix
The Appreciation Approach

Crisis or Depression?

Midlife Transition Series

Is it depression or a midlife crisis?“I think I might be depressed,” he told me.  I wasn’t convinced.

When Brian was talking, it seemed he was searching more than he was lost.

Depression, unhappiness, and a midlife crisis can look very similar.

But they are very different.  And the way through each is different.

Brian felt depressed.  But in reality, he was trying to figure it all out.  He was in a crisis.  He didn’t need to be treated for depression.  He needed to get through his midlife crisis.

Sometimes, people hit midlife, and it IS depression.  If you (or someone you know) is at midlife and not sure if it is a midlife crisis, depression, or just unhappiness, let’s talk about the differences.  Each has a different path.

MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES
4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis
The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis
A Healthy Midlife Transition

 

4 Myths of Mid Life Crisis

Mid Life Transformation Series

4 myths of mid life crisis.This week, we turn our attention to mid-life.  Maybe because that is where I am!

Many clients come to me in the midst of a midlife crisis.  But that term carries so much baggage that many people are even embarrassed to consider the fact that it might just be. . . a. . . mid-life crisis brewing!

Too bad.  In reality, mid life is all about transformation.  New opportunities abound.  Possible growth and change is on the horizon.  Deeper meaning.  Greater purpose.  Huge impact.  All the possibilities of a midlife transformation.

In the last couple of years, headlines blared, “Mid Life Crisis Is A Myth.”  But they missed the point of a midlife crisis.  The scale used in research was “happiness.”  Wrong scale.  The right scale is about meaning.  Besides, nobody has figured out how to define or measure happiness with any clarity.

Instead of focusing on the “myth of the midlife crisis,” this week, I turn my attention to 4 myths about midlife crises.

Care to join me?  Listen below:

3 Thoughts To Turn Around Tough Times

3 thoughts to turn around tough times.In the midst of my own serious illness years ago, I had friends who were more than willing to share with me the many ways I might die from my illness.  They seemed to have missed the fact that I had the same information.

But they also missed the fact that I refused to play through every potential scenario.  Not because I was in denial, but because it did not benefit me to focus on it.

In reflection, I used three specific phrases to stay focused on my life (and not my potential demise).

And in fact, these same thoughts and reflections are strong sources of me thriving to this day.

Let me tell you about the thoughts I held and continue to hold when dealing with life circumstances.

Are there other thoughts YOU use?  Share in the comments below.

Fear or Love; Your Choice!

Immutable Laws of Living Series

You can live in fear and threat or love and appreciation.  Your choice.Have you ever wondered whether your brain controlled your mind or your mind controlled your brain?  Here is the answer:

YES.

Your brain certainly affects your thinking. But your thinking affects your brain. . . and you can CHOOSE where your thoughts dwell.

Brain chemistry is much more complicated.  And we know very little about how that chemistry works, anyway.

What we DO know about the brain is there are three layers.  The most primitive and deepest part of your brain scans the environment for threats — locking you into a fight/flight mode when it is activated.  The next layer is all about emotions.  And the top layer is about thoughts and reason.  We like that part.  But we often forget about the other layers.  Those other layers can keep us stuck, though.

Let’s talk about your brain and your mind.  Let’s discuss how to shift to Love/Appreciation — or you default to Fear/Threat.

Where do you want to spend your time?

(If you missed the earlier parts of the Immutable Laws Of Living Series, the links are below.)
Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears
Life is YOUR Responsibility
“What Is” IS What Is
Control What You Can (Release The Rest)
Forgive To Live
Life Is The NOW
How Do You Spend Your Time?

“What Is” IS What Is

Immutable Law of Living Series

"What Is" is what is:  Immutable Law of LivingEver notice how much time and energy we spend (waste) struggling with “what is?”

We want things to be different than they are.  We want things to have happened differently than they did.

Yet here we are, and those things DID happen.

And we still spend time and energy thinking about how things “should” be different, trying to somehow “make” them different.  All to no avail.

We are better served coming to terms with “What Is,” and then choosing how to move forward.

Do you find yourself struggling with What Is?  Do you find yourself struggling to accept where you are and what has happened?

Let’s talk about how to stop wasting that time and energy.  What Is IS what is. . .

Immutable Laws Of Living Series:
Life Isn’t Fair
Life Has Challenges
Life Isn’t About Happiness
A Thought Is A Thought
Every Perspective Is Limited
Change Is Inevitable
People Do The Best They Can
We ALL Have Fears
Life is YOUR Responsibility

Dealing With Anxiety

How to beat anxiety and conquer those awful attacks

How to deal with (and beat) anxiety.Anxiety.  It sometimes seems to surround us.  Sometimes, it can even overwhelm.

But anxiety doesn’t have to hold you back.  You can learn to walk through life without allowing anxiety to control you.

Remember that we have “anxiety” wiring in your brain.  But we get to choose how much strength we allow that circuit.

Don’t let anxiety rule your life.  Learn what causes anxiety, how to short it out, and how to move beyond the anxiety.

And yes, panic attacks are all about anxiety.  They are storms of anxiety.  Learn how to keep the attacks from striking, and what to do if they do strike.

Take back your life from anxiety.  Learn how in today’s podcast.

[ALSO:  Let me say a BIG thank you to my newest patrons (through Patreon):  Robert, Tracy, Aarti, Derek, Mimi, Ted, Jeff, and Susanna.  If you find value in Thriveology and would like to help support us, please consider being a Patron.  CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE]

RELATED RESOURCE:
Defeating Depression Series

Can’t Change The Past So Stop Trying

Let your past stay in your past.  Focus on the present and future.It is an interesting human characteristic that we spend lots of energy trying to rework and change the past — at the same time, we fail to believe we can change our future!

A belief that the future is unchangeable (and actions/inactions that often reveal this hidden belief) is called fatalism.  It is a belief that fate is set.  The ancient Greeks and Romans believed in the Fates, three women who created the thread of life for each person, measured it out, then cut it, when it was time to die.  No beating the fates.

Que sera sera.  

“Whatever will be, will be.”

I think I much prefer (please excuse my attempt at translation),  Que fuera era. Whatever was, was.  That might be “reverse fatalism.”  The past has happened and can’t be changed.  But we do have some choice about how the future plays out.

We don’t have FULL control of our futures.  But we have much more than we often like to claim.  And that might be the better focus:  changing what we CAN change, what we CAN control.

The past is NOT part of what we can change.  The future (starting in the present) holds much more potential.

Join me as I explore this “Reverse Fatalism.”

RELATED RESOURCES:
Interview With Jack Canfield
Accepting What Is
The Control Paradox
Forgive
Show Up
Responsibility
Gratitude
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