Shift Your Perspective

Getting Unstuck Series

Stuck?  Shift your perspective.When we get stuck, we can’t see beyond ourselves.  When we can’t see beyond ourselves, we get stuck.

Perspective — or lack of a different perspective — is what keeps us in that stuck space.

The good news is a shift in perspective is always available to you.  In fact, there are several shifts you can make, at will, at any time.

Use these shifts to get unstuck.  A new perspective gives you a new view.  See the forest, not just the tree in front of you.  Just beyond that is your UnStuck.

Listen below for how to shift your perspective and get unstuck.

Loops

How Unfinished Business Keeps You Stuck

Loops got you stuck?It’s just human nature.  We like things

And when they’re not, they can often tug at us, pulling energy and focus away.  When things are left hanging, we feel (oh, by the way, the last word from that first line is “finished”) incomplete, unfinished, unsatisfied.

So, what is a “Loop?”  Great question.  This one concept, if you understand it, will help you get free.  If you feel stuck, this is something you need to understand.  More than that, this is one of the most. . .

Tell you what, I’ll let you listen and hear for yourself.

(And here are links to the earlier segments of this series:)
Intro To Getting Unstuck
How You Get Stuck
You Are Not As Stuck As You Think
Give Up Your Goals & Get Unstuck

Give Up Your Goals To Get Unstuck

Getting Unstuck Series

Give up your goals and get unstuck.As counter-intuitive as it sounds, if you are stuck, one of the first things to do is give up your goals.

Which may lead you to think that my idea of getting unstuck just means that you leave things the way they are.  Instead of being stuck, you might be stranded.

Nope.  That is NOT what I mean.  You see, I think that goals often cause us to be even more stuck.

Most of the time, people fail at the goals they set (look no further to the empty gyms in late January).  Not only that, but if someone achieves a goal, they often then slip away from the goal, falling back “below the line.”  And, by the way, the best you can do is get “to the line.”

Not very appealing, is it?

Not only that, but many goals we create are not even within our control.  If you have the goal to make the football team, a coach has to choose you.  Many might have that goal.  Lots get cut from the team.

Goals sounding worse?

But there is an alternative.  One that you CAN control, live into, and move into.  Let me tell you about it.

Series:
Intro To Getting Unstuck
You Are Not As Stuck As You Think

You Are NOT As Stuck As You Feel

Getting Unstuck Series

You are not as stuck as you think!Stuck.  We all feel it sometimes.  We can’t get ourselves in gear, out of our own way, moving in the right direction, or even moving at all.

There are some reasons we get stuck.  But I truly believe we are never quite as stuck as we feel.

When I feel stuck, it is sometimes helpful for me to remind myself of why I am not quite as stuck as I feel.  When I do that, I get a little momentum.

A little momentum is what I need to begin the process of getting unstuck.

And after you listen to the podcast, you will realize:  you have LOTS of momentum.  LOTS is changing. . . if you are looking.

Introduction To Getting Unstuck Series

How You Get Stuck

Get Unstuck Series, Ep. 2

How you get stuck:  4 reasons we all get stuck, why and how.We all have those times when we feel stuck.  And we tend to get stuck for the same few reasons:

  1. The Past
  2. Limiting Beliefs
  3. Lack of Clarity
  4. Fear

Sometimes, we stay anchored in the past, to the old stories and old scripts — and we don’t even realize it.

Other times, we carry around limiting beliefs about what is even possible.  We don’t tap into the possibilities and potentials, but fall into believing our own limited perspective.  We believe the self-imposed limits.

And still other times, we just don’t know what to do.  We stand at the fork(s) in the road, not sure which to choose.  So, we fail to choose.

And many times, fear keeps us stuck.  We fear the unknown, fear change, fear failure, and even fear success.

Let’s explore those reasons we get stuck, and begin to get un-stuck.

Grab a pencil and paper!  I have a little exercise for you to do!

PREVIOUS UNSTUCK:
Intro To Unstuck

 

Getting Unstuck Intro

New Series Introduction on How To Get Un-Stuck

How we get stuck.  And how we get un-stuck.During my career as a therapist, person after person came to figure out why they were stuck.  As I transitioned to coaching, I realized my focus was on how to get unstuck.

How we get stuck is merely a starting point.  The real task is how to get un-stuck and moving toward our aspirations.

When we are stuck, we can’t be thriving.  But the process of getting unstuck is also the process of thriving.

I believe that we all have the capacity of being un-stuck, regardless of circumstances and situations.

How you are stuck is similar for all of us.  What you do when you are un-stuck, that can vary greatly.  But the process of getting unstuck is the same.

Today, listen in as I tell you how Bill got stuck.

If this strikes a cord in you, please share this episode with the social sharing buttons below, and consider giving a review of the podcast in iTunes or in Stitcher.

Let’s thrive!

Dealing With Anxiety

How to beat anxiety and conquer those awful attacks

How to deal with (and beat) anxiety.Anxiety.  It sometimes seems to surround us.  Sometimes, it can even overwhelm.

But anxiety doesn’t have to hold you back.  You can learn to walk through life without allowing anxiety to control you.

Remember that we have “anxiety” wiring in your brain.  But we get to choose how much strength we allow that circuit.

Don’t let anxiety rule your life.  Learn what causes anxiety, how to short it out, and how to move beyond the anxiety.

And yes, panic attacks are all about anxiety.  They are storms of anxiety.  Learn how to keep the attacks from striking, and what to do if they do strike.

Take back your life from anxiety.  Learn how in today’s podcast.

[ALSO:  Let me say a BIG thank you to my newest patrons (through Patreon):  Robert, Tracy, Aarti, Derek, Mimi, Ted, Jeff, and Susanna.  If you find value in Thriveology and would like to help support us, please consider being a Patron.  CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE]

RELATED RESOURCE:
Defeating Depression Series

Is Comfort Killing You?

Is comfort killing us?  What we can learn from discomfort.We all often seek comfort.

But is the comfort we find killing us?

Is the comfort, perhaps more subtly, holding us back?

Here is the problem:  we find something comfortable, something “better,” something bigger.  Then, instead of bigger, better, more comfortable, it just becomes the routine.

Habituation is the process by which anything becomes the normal.  Buy your dream home/car/watch/whatever.  Quickly, it is “just” a home/car/watch/whatever.  The dream disappears.

Or go the other way:  lose a job, have to downsize.  At first, it hurts.  Then, it becomes a new normal.  You “habituate,” either way.

The problem is, our insatiable move toward comfort becomes more and more limiting:  “I’ll only fly first class,” “I have simple tastes:  only the best,” etc., etc.

Food gets richer, exercise has to be “comfortable,” and we find ourselves unable to tolerate discomfort.

Here is the problem:  every life has discomfort and struggle.  When we are always looking only for comfort, we tend to avoid the discomfort.  And over time, we become uncomfortable about any discomfort.

But what if we could be more comfortable with discomfort?  What if we could take on some small discomforts as inoculation against big discomfort?

Listen below and see how that might help, and how to do it.

Don’t Take The Bait!

Don't take the bait!My son and I were off the coast, fishing in some pretty chilly water.  We kept pulling up little fish, but nothing that would serve as dinner.  While we were bobbing out there, I was wondering what those fish were thinking.  They were hanging out, trying to stay warm, when suddenly, there appears a tasty morsel, tempting them to grab a quick bite.

Once they bite, they are hooked!  They are now in a fight with that line, and ultimately the person fishing.  They may get away, they may get eaten.  Either way, the day changed drastically for them.

But fish aren’t the only creatures that “take the bait.”  I did it just last night.  There was a Facebook post that tweeked me.  I knew better.  Even while I was commenting.  I knew I should just delete my comment, back out of the post, and keep on swimming.  But I didn’t.  I clicked to post.  And. . . I took the bait.

Would my comment change ANYONE’S mind?  Nope.  Would it help me?  Nope.  It only raised the volume of an argument.

I took the bait.

And I got hooked.

Which led me to spend some time reflecting on how to better NOT get hooked.  Whether it is someone on the internet, a colleague, a friend, a spouse, a parent, or a child, we get bait dangled in front of us every day.

Our choice:  will we bite or keep on swimming?

I offer 4 strategies to keep from biting.

Can’t Change The Past So Stop Trying

Let your past stay in your past.  Focus on the present and future.It is an interesting human characteristic that we spend lots of energy trying to rework and change the past — at the same time, we fail to believe we can change our future!

A belief that the future is unchangeable (and actions/inactions that often reveal this hidden belief) is called fatalism.  It is a belief that fate is set.  The ancient Greeks and Romans believed in the Fates, three women who created the thread of life for each person, measured it out, then cut it, when it was time to die.  No beating the fates.

Que sera sera.  

“Whatever will be, will be.”

I think I much prefer (please excuse my attempt at translation),  Que fuera era. Whatever was, was.  That might be “reverse fatalism.”  The past has happened and can’t be changed.  But we do have some choice about how the future plays out.

We don’t have FULL control of our futures.  But we have much more than we often like to claim.  And that might be the better focus:  changing what we CAN change, what we CAN control.

The past is NOT part of what we can change.  The future (starting in the present) holds much more potential.

Join me as I explore this “Reverse Fatalism.”

RELATED RESOURCES:
Interview With Jack Canfield
Accepting What Is
The Control Paradox
Forgive
Show Up
Responsibility
Gratitude
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