What Thriving People Do To Show Up

Show UP to life!Think about 2 types of people.  First, there are the ones that trudge through the day, waiting for the next thing.  They may have a conversation with you, but nobody is really there.  They are a bit vacant and distant.  Often, their eyes are a bit dull.

The second group of people seem to embrace the day — this moment. . .  this moment. . . this moment. . . .

When you speak with them, they are listening, hanging onto your words, eyes twinkling and flashing.

That second group of people?  They are Showing Up.  They are present in the present.

Where do you place yourself?  Which group do you fit into?  Which group would you like to be MORE like?

Thrivers are the ones that Show Up to life.  Learn how thrivers do it, and how anyone can do it more and more.

What Thriving People Know About Assuming Responsibility

Assume 100% responsibility for your life.That word, “responsibility,” is such a loaded term.  I immediately go back to childhood, where some adult was saying, “who’s responsible for this mess?”

What they were really asking was, “Who’s fault is this?”

And nobody wants to be blamed.  So, everyone sits quietly.

Perhaps a better question would be, “Who will take responsibility for fixing this?”

Who did it?  Often, it doesn’t matter.  Who will deal with it?  Usually, in your life, it is YOU.

The word, “Responsibility,” is really “Ability to Respond.”  We all have it.  But Thrivers accept responsibility for their lives.  They assume 100% responsibility for their own lives.

How about you?

Here’s what Thrivers do, and how we all can do more of it.

What Thriving People Know About Forgiving and Moving On

Forgive and Move OnForgiveness is such a loaded term in our culture.  You are told by some to forgive, as if it is a burden that must be done.

Others tell you not to forgive, but to hold on to the hurt — so the other person is held responsible, I suppose.

Forgiveness, to me, is an opportunity.  Not an obligation or burden.  But an opportunity to step into a new future without the binding of old pains.

The cultural baggage around forgiveness has created some “myths” about forgiveness.  We misunderstand what forgiving is about, what it means, and how to do it.

Over the years, though, I have realized that people who thrive in life have mastered the skills of forgiving.  They do not see it as obligation, but simple opportunity.  It does cause us to look closely at ourselves and re-take control (and responsibility) for life.  That is a thriving opportunity.

Listen in to discover what forgiving is really about — and how to do it (6 simple steps).

What Thriving People Know About Accepting What Is

Thrivers Accept What Is.Things happen, and we wish they hadn’t.  Then, we fight against what we think might happen.  And we even fight against where we are right now.

The struggle does nothing to change what is.  In fact, the more we struggle, the less we are able to respond.

The less we are able to respond, the more stagnant we become.

But thriving people know to accept what is.  It becomes the starting point for growth and change.  It becomes the foundation of thriving.

Listen below for why thrivers accept what is, and how we all can thrive more!

What Thriving People Know About Thoughts

Thriving people do things differently.  But like success, thriving leaves a trail.  If you want to thrive more, look at what thriving people are doing, and follow their lead!

So, I have isolated 15 things that thriving people do differently.  And each week, we will be examining one of these traits.  Ready to thrive more?

Remember, thriving is not binary:  you are not either thriving or stagnant.  The question is can you thrive more?  Can you move toward a more thriving life, and away from stagnation?

Thriving is not about money, success, good looks, or even being happy all of the time.  It is about growing toward a greater, more fulfilling life.  It is growing into the person you were meant to be.

So, let’s get started.

A thought is a thought.First up, thrivers understand thoughts for what they are:  thoughts.

Listen below to discover what this means, and why it is so important in your life.

WAKE UP! Life is calling. . .

Answering Life's Wake Up Calls.Can you hear it?  Life is giving you a Wake Up Call.  Don’t hit the snooze!

What is a wake up call?  Some event, some occurrence, that lets you know you have not been paying attention.  Life has shifted.

It may be a loss.  It could be a change.  It might be a challenge.

Something happens.  You can try to pretend that nothing has changed.  But everything changes.

About a decade ago, I was cruising along, thinking I had it figured out.  And then I got sick.

Sick enough that the doctors promised little chance of recovery, and a long path of deterioration.  The ending, they thought, might come in a number of ways.  None sounded too pleasant to me.  It shook me up.

It woke me up.

I was fortunate.  While my diagnosis was accurate, the prognosis was not.  I recovered.  But it was a Wake Up Call.  Life was telling me I had been hitting the snooze button for far too long.  Things had to change.

While I would never want to go back and re-live the illness, I would not trade the experience for anything.  As miserable as I was, it altered my life trajectory forever.

How about you?

How will you deal with the Wake Up Call when (not if) it comes?

Join me in this week’s podcast as we talk about life’s Wake Up Calls.

Why Chasing Happiness Chases Happiness Away

Chasing happiness chases happiness away.Have you noticed all the books, articles, and stories about increasing your happiness?

Sounds great, doesn’t it?

I am certainly not opposed to happiness.  I just think that chasing after happiness only chases happiness away.

Oh, sure, we may feel a few fleeting moments of happiness.  Just enough to lure us into the next book or article.

But it doesn’t stay.

Happiness is elusive.  At least when you chase after it.

It arrives, though, when you allow it to be the after-effect or side-effect of something else — something that will transform your life, and transform the world.

Seek a life of impact.  Go for discovering your purpose.  Find your meaning.  Happiness will show up.

Learn why in this week’s Thriveology podcast.

Dealing With Endings and Beginnings

Life is filled with endings.  And beginnings.  There is no avoiding the endings.  And there is always another beginning.

Some endings are by choice:  you decide to leave a job or move to a new town.  Some endings give you no choice:  someone dies or there is an illness.  Others are just what happens by stages:  children come along and children depart for their own lives.

Every new opportunity, every new beginning, only comes along because something ended.  And whether the ending is by choice or by circumstance, our challenge is to accept, adapt, and move forward.

In this podcast episode, I discuss four ways to move through the ending and four ways to move into the new beginning.

Life is all about change, whether we fight it or embrace it.  Change comes.  Learn how to end and begin in healthy and helpful ways.

Why We Worry (And How To Stop!)

WhyWeWorrysmWe worry.  In spite of songs telling us, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” we still wake up in a cold sweat.

Or maybe you find yourself sitting at your desk, fretting about what might go wrong at home, at work, or anywhere else in life.

And if you have kids. . . don’t get me started!  From the time they are born until, well, the rest of our lives, we can spend our time worrying.

But do we have to?

Or is it just a very bad habit?

Perhaps we have made a mistake.  Have you mistakenly believed that worrying was the same as caring?  That if you cared for someone, you needed to worry?  Worry becomes an expression of care.

But does that have to be?

Let me just suggest that worry is more habit than necessity.  Sure, those worry lines may still form.  But what if you could reduce the amount of worry?  What if you could even decide when and how worry can be productive, and learn to let the rest go?

Let me challenge you to give me a listen, then try my approach, and then decide if it is possible to reduce or stop your worrying.

From “What If” To “What Is”

Shift from "What If?" to "What Is."We all can get lost in the Worries and Wishes.  We can lose our lives to “What If?”.

In the process, we lose focus on the present moment.  Instead, we focus on things that may never be, either worriedly or wishingly.

You see, your mind is excellent at scenarios that may play out in the future.  In fact, the scenarios and scenes are probably Oscar-worthy.

When I was sick, years ago, I realized that I could not live in the world of “What If?”  It took all of my energy to live in the world of “What Is”.

And it turns out, that was an important life lesson.

During my illness, of which there were some pretty significant (and deadly) consequences, I often said, “Let’s wait and see.”  When presented with potential effects of the illness, many told to me by well-meaning friends and family, I had to re-state, “Let’s wait and see.”

At least 95% of the “what if’s” never happened.

Isn’t that true with most of life?  Yet, we get caught up in those things down the road.  As Julius Caesar said,

As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can.

And yet, those future scenarios do nothing to prepare us for what is coming our way.  We just pretend it does.  And as Leo Buscaglia reminds us:

Worry never robs tomorrow of sorrow.  It only saps today of its joy.

Let’s make a shift.  Let’s move from “What If?”  Instead, let’s embrace “What Is.”  That is enough for the moment.

The Problem Is Enough
This Moment