WAKE UP! Life is calling. . .

Answering Life's Wake Up Calls.Can you hear it?  Life is giving you a Wake Up Call.  Don’t hit the snooze!

What is a wake up call?  Some event, some occurrence, that lets you know you have not been paying attention.  Life has shifted.

It may be a loss.  It could be a change.  It might be a challenge.

Something happens.  You can try to pretend that nothing has changed.  But everything changes.

About a decade ago, I was cruising along, thinking I had it figured out.  And then I got sick.

Sick enough that the doctors promised little chance of recovery, and a long path of deterioration.  The ending, they thought, might come in a number of ways.  None sounded too pleasant to me.  It shook me up.

It woke me up.

I was fortunate.  While my diagnosis was accurate, the prognosis was not.  I recovered.  But it was a Wake Up Call.  Life was telling me I had been hitting the snooze button for far too long.  Things had to change.

While I would never want to go back and re-live the illness, I would not trade the experience for anything.  As miserable as I was, it altered my life trajectory forever.

How about you?

How will you deal with the Wake Up Call when (not if) it comes?

Join me in this week’s podcast as we talk about life’s Wake Up Calls.

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Why Chasing Happiness Chases Happiness Away

Chasing happiness chases happiness away.Have you noticed all the books, articles, and stories about increasing your happiness?

Sounds great, doesn’t it?

I am certainly not opposed to happiness.  I just think that chasing after happiness only chases happiness away.

Oh, sure, we may feel a few fleeting moments of happiness.  Just enough to lure us into the next book or article.

But it doesn’t stay.

Happiness is elusive.  At least when you chase after it.

It arrives, though, when you allow it to be the after-effect or side-effect of something else — something that will transform your life, and transform the world.

Seek a life of impact.  Go for discovering your purpose.  Find your meaning.  Happiness will show up.

Learn why in this week’s Thriveology podcast.

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Dealing With Endings and Beginnings

Life is filled with endings.  And beginnings.  There is no avoiding the endings.  And there is always another beginning.

Some endings are by choice:  you decide to leave a job or move to a new town.  Some endings give you no choice:  someone dies or there is an illness.  Others are just what happens by stages:  children come along and children depart for their own lives.

Every new opportunity, every new beginning, only comes along because something ended.  And whether the ending is by choice or by circumstance, our challenge is to accept, adapt, and move forward.

In this podcast episode, I discuss four ways to move through the ending and four ways to move into the new beginning.

Life is all about change, whether we fight it or embrace it.  Change comes.  Learn how to end and begin in healthy and helpful ways.

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Why We Worry (And How To Stop!)

WhyWeWorrysmWe worry.  In spite of songs telling us, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” we still wake up in a cold sweat.

Or maybe you find yourself sitting at your desk, fretting about what might go wrong at home, at work, or anywhere else in life.

And if you have kids. . . don’t get me started!  From the time they are born until, well, the rest of our lives, we can spend our time worrying.

But do we have to?

Or is it just a very bad habit?

Perhaps we have made a mistake.  Have you mistakenly believed that worrying was the same as caring?  That if you cared for someone, you needed to worry?  Worry becomes an expression of care.

But does that have to be?

Let me just suggest that worry is more habit than necessity.  Sure, those worry lines may still form.  But what if you could reduce the amount of worry?  What if you could even decide when and how worry can be productive, and learn to let the rest go?

Let me challenge you to give me a listen, then try my approach, and then decide if it is possible to reduce or stop your worrying.

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From “What If” To “What Is”

Shift from "What If?" to "What Is."We all can get lost in the Worries and Wishes.  We can lose our lives to “What If?”.

In the process, we lose focus on the present moment.  Instead, we focus on things that may never be, either worriedly or wishingly.

You see, your mind is excellent at scenarios that may play out in the future.  In fact, the scenarios and scenes are probably Oscar-worthy.

When I was sick, years ago, I realized that I could not live in the world of “What If?”  It took all of my energy to live in the world of “What Is”.

And it turns out, that was an important life lesson.

During my illness, of which there were some pretty significant (and deadly) consequences, I often said, “Let’s wait and see.”  When presented with potential effects of the illness, many told to me by well-meaning friends and family, I had to re-state, “Let’s wait and see.”

At least 95% of the “what if’s” never happened.

Isn’t that true with most of life?  Yet, we get caught up in those things down the road.  As Julius Caesar said,

As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can.

And yet, those future scenarios do nothing to prepare us for what is coming our way.  We just pretend it does.  And as Leo Buscaglia reminds us:

Worry never robs tomorrow of sorrow.  It only saps today of its joy.

Let’s make a shift.  Let’s move from “What If?”  Instead, let’s embrace “What Is.”  That is enough for the moment.

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Present
The Problem Is Enough
This Moment

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The Success Principles with Jack Canfield

Jack CanfieldOne of my favorite authors and experts is Jack Canfield.  My kids grew up with Chicken Soup For The Soul.  I “grew up” with The Success Principles, a book that gave me a plan to shift my mindset.

A while back, I ran into Jack at a conference.  We chatted and committed to an interview.

Today was the day!

Jack and I really got into some important topics.  We talked about being 100% responsible (one of his Principles), and what that means.

One of my favorite principles is the equation, E + R = O (event + response = outcome).  We had a chance to discuss that equation in-depth.  This is a crucial formula for thriving in life.

As we discussed fear, Jack talked about the fact that fear is NOT a stop sign.  It is simply a caution sign.  And then Jack discussed a way to even eliminate that fear (a slight movement away from the “feel the fear and do it anyway” idea from his earlier work).

SuccessPrinciplesCoverIs your life where you want it to be?  If not, please listen in and discover how to start getting there.  Jack gives specific steps to take.

If you want to learn more, go to TheSuccessPrinciples.com, or GRAB HIS BOOK right here.

You can find the interview below.

And please share this below, so others can benefit from Jack’s wisdom and advice.

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You Are Not THAT Story!

broken plate meme has it all wrongHave you seen this picture in your FB feed or on Twitter?  It crossed my path a number of times.

The first time I saw it, I was immediately uncomfortable.  But it took a little time for me to be clear on why.

There is a point to it:  just because you apologize doesn’t mean everything is okay.

I like that point.

But I worry about going the other way:  if someone hurts you, you are shattered.  With that, I disagree.

Not just a little.

A lot.

I firmly believe that we are all built to heal from hurts.  I firmly believe that encoded within us is the capacity to not just move forward, but to thrive, even when someone deeply wounds us.

We humans are natural story-tellers.  And we all LOVE to tell the “someone done me wrong” stories — thus, 90% of country songs!

And people do, indeed, do us wrong (and we do others wrong).

The problem is not the stories.  It is our attachment to those stories.  When we begin to define ourselves by the stories of what happened to us, we become that story.  It no longer happened TO us, it IS us.

And we get stuck.  We become defined by the story, (almost always, A story).  Then, we are limited.  We stop growing.  We stay attached to the story.

In this week’s podcast, I discuss what happens with a story, and why we can’t allow ourselves to be caught by the story.

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How To End Your Day On A High Note

End your day on a high note.Days have a rhythm.  All day long, it is a huge inhale, trying to get that energy in you and into your efforts.

But at the end of the day, it is a big exhale, a moment of relaxing and calming.

Or more accurately, it should be.

In our natural rhythm, evenings are a time to wind-down, calm down, and move toward rest.

In fact, our ancestors had no choice but to do that.  No lights to keep on.  No screens to watch or video games to play.  No social media to post to.  Just a quiet time to move toward sleep.

Experts tell us that our society is sleep deprived.  And researchers are clear that this impacts work performance, relationships, happiness, health, moods, and a myriad of other factors.

To put it simply, if you are not getting adequate rest, you will struggle to thrive!  Your body, psyche, and relationships will pay the price.

In this podcast, I cover 4 areas of your life that you can shift, so that you have the best chance for getting the best rest.

Join me to end your day on a high note, and start your night ready for rest.

RESOURCE MENTIONED IN PODCAST:
Podcast on Starting Your Day Right

 

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You Feel Your Focus

You feel your focus.What is your focus?

Do you focus on the threats and dangers, the “what’s wrong” of life?

It is seductive.  The “news” surrounds us with stories that can lead you to believe we are in danger at every turn.

The “self-help” world tells us all the things that are “wrong” with us.

And our brain latches on to those messages.  Our brain gets sucked into the fears and threats.

So why do we seem to miss all that is “right,” going well, and good?

The “Amygdala Hijack” is to blame.

Unless we choose our focus, we will become focused on the fearful, the dangerous, the threatening.

And we will miss the beautiful, the hopeful, the meaningful, and the inspirational.

Let’s talk about how you limit your exposure.  Let me tell you about 5 ways to take back your brain and your mind from the Amygdala Hijack.

 

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3 Steps to Ending Fear of Failure

Don't let fear of failure stop you!Have you failed?

Did that failure stop you from moving forward?  Did it get you stuck?

Failure is a part of life.  Ever watched a child learn to walk?  Success only comes after repeated failures.  Yet that same child keeps on trying, until the child gets it right.

What happens in adulthood?  Why does a fear of failing keep us from acting?

When we don’t take action for fear of failing, we have pre-emptively failed.

We have already decided we would fail, so we never even start, guaranteeing we don’t get to where you want to go.

A decade ago, I started a business.  It failed miserably.  And it kept me stuck for awhile.  But one day, I realized there was something else to consider about that failure.  There were some lessons I learned.

Those are lessons I apply every single day.

Let me suggest 3 questions that will help you turn a failure around, and make the failure simply another opportunity.

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